gwalchmai Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 Do you forgive him? Even if he never acknowledges the theft or attempts to make restitution? Asking for a friend. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 My sister in law looted my near death mother-in-law: She doesn't talk to me. She knows i check her for warrants and will take her in myself. I'm not bitter. Just burnt. It wasn't even the money. It was the fact she stole from her mother when she was on death's door. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tadbart Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 I hate a thief. Even more so, if I knew them or they were related. Just goes against trust, and if you can't trust family, they ain't family. Forgiveness for that is gonna require a change in behavior, restitution, and probably a long, uncomfortable conversation. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, gwalchmai said: Do you forgive him? Even if he never acknowledges the theft or attempts to make restitution? Asking for a friend. HELL NO! Nothing in my mind is worse than stealing from those closest to you. My wife's brother was continuously stealing from his 90 year old mother after she lost her husband and was damn near destitute. She saved pennies, quarters and Silver Dollars for emergency money since her only income was Social Security. He stole most of it while visiting her, as she was living alone and almost blind, in the same town he lived in. There are no words to describe treatment of your family that harms them like this especially when they are so vulnerable. No mercy for a child in particular, stealing from, or abusing a vulnerable parent, elderly or not. Some of the family say that blood is thicker than water so forgive him. I say that if blood is a consideration, I would like to see his collecting in a pool on the ground. Edited September 4, 2019 by janice6 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 1 hour ago, tadbart said: I hate a thief. Even more so, if I knew them or they were related. Just goes against trust, and if you can't trust family, they ain't family. Forgiveness for that is gonna require a change in behavior, restitution, and probably a long, uncomfortable conversation. This.............. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueiron Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 Never. Even with restitution, an apology, etc. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamboolman Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 My father stole about $25K worth of guns and silver from us at our home. Dad was living with us at the time cause he was poor. I came in from overseas on days off and opened up the gun safe and immediately knew guns were missing. At that time, the combo was wrote in a notebook....I know head up my asszzzz... I filed police report and have had 2 X pistols returned to us by the police. These guns were recovered from thugs / crimes that were picked up by the police. He admitted it a few years later. Still hard for me to accept but it is true. Have video of silver being sold at local pawnshops and much more evidence. After investigation, Police told me he would go to jail....I told them no - that I would not press charges. Cynical...yeah.....trust folks.....I trust my wife 100%, and our growed kids to some extent that you ever trust your youngins....that's about it.... Still hurts.....and I will go to my grave thinking on it... Maybe across the Jordan it will all make sense..... The only people who know the combo to our gun safe is me and ms gamboolgal...... and it's in our heads.... 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deputy tom Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 (edited) I hope I never am in a similar situation. If you are in need and I have it, just ask. tom. ETA We have a person that cut out my wife and her brother from the estate. That individual will get her's in the end. Praise Jesus is what she says. I doubt she even believes. When I die, I'll have a clear conscious. tom. Edited September 9, 2019 by deputy tom 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batesmotel Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 My wife’s brother robbed my mothers house after she died. I tried to talk to her family about it. Didn’t go well. They thought I was making it up. I had proof. I could have had him arrested. I just avoid him now. I also stopped helping her family out as much as I used to. The way they treated me after the burglary was one of the main reasons. In the years that followed they discovered from other sources that he was in fact the one who did it. No one has ever apologized. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 Nope. Beat their ass. And beat it again. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Czervik Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 10 hours ago, gwalchmai said: Do you forgive him? Even if he never acknowledges the theft or attempts to make restitution? Asking for a friend. No. No. And, no. I have an innate inability to forgive. I know it is one of the biggest hurdles in my life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DWARREN123 Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 No, I do not forgive nor forget! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBO Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 11 hours ago, gwalchmai said: Do you forgive him? Even if he never acknowledges the theft or attempts to make restitution? Asking for a friend. I've seen/read enough of you I'm good with whatever your decision. Stand firm on it, others will. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willie-pete Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 Not exactly stealing; well maybe it was. When my wife's father died; her two brothers filed a lawsuit to eliminate her out of receiving any of the two farms in the inheritance. They each wanted one of the two farms. Two farms and three kids don't work out evenly. They also said she didn't need one because she didn't have any kids and they did. It turns out she had the better attorney. She got parcels from each of the farms that were both good farmland and she had them sold before the week was out - at the time a record high $ / acre in the county. One went to the neighbor of one brother who hated the neighbor. As soon as the deal was done, she changed her will and eliminated all of the two brothers' children from her will and let her two brothers know that. Definitely a case of them being penny wise and pound foolish. She has not spoken to them since - about 6 years now. Karma is, indeed, a bitch. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Cicero Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 If by forgiveness you mean you trust them again, Hell no. If by forgiveness you just mean you stop hating them for being the thieves that they are, and accept that they are thieves without any emotional reaction on your part, and simply get on with the rest of your life without them in it, then OK. If a family member steals from another member of my family, the thief is no longer a member of my family. I'm not going to waste my life/time devising ways to make them pay, or even to make them realize they are cretinous ingrates who do not deserve the air they are breathing. I'm just going to write them off completely. That's all the "forgiveness" they are ever going to get from me... my ignoring their very existence. And they ought to be grateful for that, because if I ever get some short-term terminal illness, payback might suddenly seem worth it. (I used to have a better definition of "forgiveness," but lately it has just seemed like a term without any real meaning). YMMV 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldDad Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 In my work I see this all the time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G21H30 Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 53 minutes ago, Mrs.Cicero said: If by forgiveness you mean you trust them again, Hell no. If by forgiveness you just mean you stop hating them for being the thieves that they are, and accept that they are thieves without any emotional reaction on your part, and simply get on with the rest of your life without them in it, then OK. If a family member steals from another member of my family, the thief is no longer a member of my family. I'm not going to waste my life/time devising ways to make them pay, or even to make them realize they are cretinous ingrates who do not deserve the air they are breathing. I'm just going to write them off completely. That's all the "forgiveness" they are ever going to get from me... my ignoring their very existence. And they ought to be grateful for that, because if I ever get some short-term terminal illness, payback might suddenly seem worth it. (I used to have a better definition of "forgiveness," but lately it has just seemed like a term without any real meaning). YMMV The above sums up my feelings exactly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aomagrat Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 My son broke into my safe and took hundreds of dollars. He's in prison now. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 6 hours ago, willie-pete said: Not exactly stealing; well maybe it was. When my wife's father died; her two brothers filed a lawsuit to eliminate her out of receiving any of the two farms in the inheritance. They each wanted one of the two farms. Two farms and three kids don't work out evenly. They also said she didn't need one because she didn't have any kids and they did. It turns out she had the better attorney. She got parcels from each of the farms that were both good farmland and she had them sold before the week was out - at the time a record high $ / acre in the county. One went to the neighbor of one brother who hated the neighbor. As soon as the deal was done, she changed her will and eliminated all of the two brothers' children from her will and let her two brothers know that. Definitely a case of them being penny wise and pound foolish. She has not spoken to them since - about 6 years now. Karma is, indeed, a bitch. As with children, some people need a lesson in good behavior. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 All too often, money make family an abstract concept. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willie-pete Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 27 minutes ago, janice6 said: As with children, some people need a lesson in good behavior. The funniest part of it was one of her nephew’s is a lawyer in Central Ohio. Actually he is the DA in the county where a whole family got slaughtered a few years ago in a presumed drug deal. My wife asked him for the name of a good inheritance lawyer before this happened and for another reason. He gave us the name of the lawyer we eventually called. So, actually, the lawyer that screwed the two brothers out of most of the land on the two farms was referred to her by the son of one of the brothers. Just seemed like poetic justice. BTW, I know the name of a very good inheritance lawyer in Chillicothe, OH. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silentpoet Posted September 5, 2019 Share Posted September 5, 2019 Grace and forgiveness are not easy things to grasp. I have forgiven family for similar acts. I still don’t totally trust my nephew. I have forgiven him, but I am aware of who he is as a person. He isn’t worthless but that boy’s got a lot of quit in him. He could do and be so much more. Sometimes the best you can do is not actively seek revenge. If I knew where my abuser was I know that it would be the best I could do to not hunt her down and kill her. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holyjohnson Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 nope,the money or valuable is`nt the issue for me its the trust and loyalty that will get blood drawn. i don't let anyone treat me like that,especially not anyone close to me. if they don`t know better,i know a way to teach them. YMMV 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASH Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 NO , i has deadbeat nephew and niece still from ,my dad ,my mom . ONCE . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted September 9, 2019 Share Posted September 9, 2019 I have a half brother that I saw three times for a few hours each, as I was growing up. He only showed up to beg my father for money, and never accomplished a damn thing with his life. I couldn't stand him for taking advantage of his father, I considered him a useless bum and refused to even recognize him. Pee on him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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