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Why is this a bad idea for a date night?


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24 year old kid dating a 23 year old girl. They have done the usual date stuff. He wants to up his game getting to know her better.

Pick her up from work at 5:00. Office job so she is already dressed nice. Not like he is picking her up from a construction site or something messy.

Go shopping. Grocery store, two Italian delis and a bakery. Go back to his place, cook her dinner, clean up and spend the rest of the night talking and listening to music. Then take her home. He pays for everything.

He throws the idea out on a family chat room. The uncles and male cousins love the idea and help with recipes ideas etc.

The females in the family hate the idea. As if he is making her work for her dinner. Like taking her to a restaurant and making her wash dishes to pay for the meal.

What is wrong with the idea? Sounds fun to me. I told him where to get one ingredient.

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Did the couple have fun and enjoy the night?

If so, why would they care what others think?

And if they do, they will never enjoy another date again.

 

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1 hour ago, jmohme said:

I see nothing at all wrong with it.

I dunno, I think it is kinda odd.  Why not just invite her over to his place for dinner.  Why the extra headache of picking her up from work and then going to the grocery store together to get the stuff.    Now she is at the mercy of when he decides to take her home or back to the office to get her car.  If I was her, I'd be wondering WTH?

If he wants her to provide dessert afterwards, I don't think that is the best way to do that.    

I knew this guy and he was an LEO.  He asked this cute nurse out.  She would later marry another LEO I knew and she states for the first (and only) date, the first guy took her thru the Jack in the box drive thru and then went back to his place to watch a movie.   I'm surprised she even went but she was a nice girl.  I wished I would have asked her out.  I think I wa smore charming than both of them put together.  She later divorced the other guy.  
 

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Sounds good.

Feminists (and wannabe's) whine they can never find a good man. The find them, but disregard them.

They will spend their lives miserable and doing their best to make everyone they come in contact with miserable as well,

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I would appreciate it much more if it didin't require me to go to the grocery store in the heels I wore when I worked an office job.  Why doesn't he do the grocery shopping before he picks her up?  

The other issue is how she got to work, and how she's going to get home from the date - does this require her to leave her car at work?   Is he going to drive her home when she wants if she didn't leave a car at work or will he drive her back to work to pick up her car and drive herself home after dinner?  Peronally,  I wouldn't be comfortable not having my own transportation available to leave when I wanted to leave...

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My second though is that my first thought was wrong. 

I would tell her I'll pick her up at at mutually acceptable time for dinner at my place. 

This would give her time to fix herself up pretty, all girls think they need to play with paint and brushes to be pretty. After all, she was dressed for work.  Now she will be dressed for a good evening.

Anyway, she would be at her best (in her opinion) while you have all the work done and then pick her up.  After you arrive back home with her, serve the dinner.

If she offers to help clean up, accept it and make it part of a fun evening, not "work".

Entertain her.  After that, it's up to the both of you to make it work.

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10 hours ago, El Spicoli said:

I dunno, I think it is kinda odd.  Why not just invite her over to his place for dinner.  Why the extra headache of picking her up from work and then going to the grocery store together to get the stuff.  
 

My daughter has friends (more than a couple) that dote on mealtimes.  They have every condition there is (keto- gluten- vegan- paleo-....).

They LOVE mealtimes and spend 24/7 thinking and planning it.

For them,  shopping and prep would BE the date.

I burp bologna in their general direction.  

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1 hour ago, Huaco Kid said:

My daughter has friends (more than a couple) that dote on mealtimes.  They have every condition there is (keto- gluten- vegan- paleo-....).

They LOVE mealtimes and spend 24/7 thinking and planning it.

For them,  shopping and prep would BE the date.

I burp bologna in their general direction.  

Sure but with a newish date?  If they had been dating for awhile, couples are all different and enjoy doing whatever together.  The females around that heard the plan didn't seem to like it.  That is a clue.

I wouldn't have planned a date that way but I am way past the 23yr mark.

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I asked my wife. She liked the idea for the date.

Then she reminded me we did that a couple times, slight variations, but same basic date.

We still love to shop and cook together.

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Sounds like  good way to get metoo'd.  

Wasting time attaching an anchor to yourself is one thing, go for it if you want.  But this situation?  Indeed, leave yourself open to a false accusation, which doesn't even need to be proved, to bring ruin to your life.

The men in the family should be teaching this young fellow to build his life without entangling himself with a living time bomb. that has a 50% chance of bring ruin to his life.

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11 hours ago, Scotsman said:

Sounds like  good way to get metoo'd.  

Wasting time attaching an anchor to yourself is one thing, go for it if you want.  But this situation?  Indeed, leave yourself open to a false accusation, which doesn't even need to be proved, to bring ruin to your life.

The men in the family should be teaching this young fellow to build his life without entangling himself with a living time bomb. that has a 50% chance of bring ruin to his life.

Wait I am confused, the girl is the ticking time bomb?  Should he not date or should he only date guys?    Can't anyone accuse anyone else of anything?  

My wife of 20yrs has gone off a few times but I'm still here.

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All I will say is family group chats are the worst!  Every now and then I get too close to the event horizon and get sucked into those things.  Reminds me very quickly why I don't hang out with cousins anymore. 

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