Stupid Things Told To Kids

[Eric]

What are some wrong/stupid/funny things adults told you as a child, that you believed because an adult told you?

My first grade teacher told us that Human blood was actually blue and didn’t turn red until the moment that oxygen hit it. She thought that the blood was blue because that is the color it looked in shallow veins, , through the filter of skin and blood vessel. 
 

I had another teacher in elementary school who was absolutely convinced that beer changed men on a hormonal level and made them grow boobs, if the drank a lot of it regularly. Granted, many guys who pack on weight drinking beer may well end up with moobs, but it has nothing to do with hormones. Looking back, I’m not sure why an adult and teacher would talk about such things with a class full of elementary school kids, but they did.

 

 

[Maser]

Glocks are quality sidearms and AKs don't have accuracy. 

[MO Fugga]

Gum stays in your stomach for 7 years. Jesus.

 

 

[MO Fugga]

Tennis balls full of strike-anywhere match heads are a no-no.

[TBO]

You'll go blind...

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[Walt Longmire]

9 minutes ago, TBO said:

You'll go blind...

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I'll stop when I need glasses.

[Walt Longmire]

Health teacher told my gf that a guy couldn't piss with a boner. It was natures way of keeping a guy from peeing in a female. I showed them both different.

[ChuteTheMall]

If your arm or leg falls asleep, and won't wake up, it might have to be amputated.

The then-proposed Floriduh Cross-State Barge Canal won't cause an island when the lower half drifts away, because there will be a lot of bridges holding it together.

 

 

[OldDad]

I had a science teacher in junior high who told us that mercury being toxic is a myth. He claimed to have drunk mercury with no ill effects. A science teacher!

[TBO]

"Democrats are for the working man".

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[gwalchmai]

35 minutes ago, OldDad said:

I had a science teacher in junior high who told us that mercury being toxic is a myth. He claimed to have drunk mercury with no ill effects. A science teacher!

Based on the amount of mercurochrome I had applied to me during my youth I think he may have had a point... 

[Dric902]

8 minutes ago, gwalchmai said:

Based on the amount of mercurochrome I had applied to me during my youth I think he may have had a point... 

Was that the stuff that burned like hell, or was that iodine?

[crockett]

I just realized that my parents never told me lies to make me feel better or to make me do things differently. I always faced harsh reality. While that may be the better route in the long-term, it wasn't fun.

But I do recall 2 instances in school that almost screwed me over. The first one was a rating and test system indicating if one was good enough to go to college and the other one was my main high school teacher doing a personal evaluation. Both strongly suggested that I would fail at college, and that I should just join the work force right away. I heavily objected, so the teacher even tried to convince my parents. It was a very embarrassing and demotivating process out in the public, discussed in class. It was probably the first time in life that I distrusted "government" polices.

Some 15 years later we had a high school class reunion and that very teacher showed up. He asked me in-front of all my old classmates if I went to college and how I was doing. Needless to say, he remembered the disagreement we had back in the day. I was always an oddball and I'm sure I wasn't normal enough in his book to succeed in anything worthwhile. He truly didn't know what to say when I told him that a got 3 degrees, that I didn't use any of them to get a job, and that I started my own business instead. I think he didn't believe me. Until the party was over and we all left, he in a 20 year old econo shitbox and me in a brand new Phaeton worth 6 figures.

To this day I can't stand social norms. They are often expectations based on the least common denominator.

[jmohme]

I had an 8th grade teacher tell the class that any of us that did not join a union would never get a good paying job. Two years later, I made more money in my after school  job in an independent non union auto repair shop than he made as a teacher that year.

Also, I never once joined a union.

[Walt Longmire]

I knew teachers were lying when they told us we'd be in an ice age in 20 years, out of oil, driving flying cars. etc. Most teachers are dumb as hell. My uncle who I logged with had an extreme dislike for them and often said, "Those who can, Do. Those who can't, Teach." My apologies to any good teachers on here.

[Batesmotel]

My parents didn’t exactly lie to me. My mom was unbelievably superstitious. The number of things she believed would cause bad luck or cause someone to die was astounding. 
 

I got the **** beat out of me for killing my great aunt. I was playing at my grandmothers house and knocked a picture of my grandmother and her sisters over. The glass cracked right over the face of one of the sisters. Mom said that crack would mean that sister would be the next to die. Unfortunately she did die just a few months later. 
 

I couldn’t see the connection. My dad said it wasn’t my fault and that mom just believed a lot of stupid stuff that wasn’t true. But I still got a lot of beatings because of her beliefs. 

[Batesmotel]

20 minutes ago, Walt Longmire said:

I knew teachers were lying when they told us we'd be in an ice age in 20 years, out of oil, driving flying cars. etc. Most teachers are dumb as hell. My uncle who I logged with had an extreme dislike for them and often said, "Those who can, Do. Those who can't, Teach." My apologies to any good teachers on here.

I was a history teacher. I agree most teachers were idiots locked in their own little worlds. I was often reprimanded for teaching facts and not social engineering. Kids actually liked my classes. The administration not so much. 
 

My class and another re-enacted the Battle of Waterloo showing how the British Line defeated the French Column. A Spanish teacher lost her mind over my militarization of students. 
 

Another teacher went nuts when I showed that the our first involvement in Vietnam was in 1803.  Not the 1960s. 
 

I gave it up over the politics. 
 

I knew a math teacher who couldn’t do his own taxes. Science teacher who didn’t understand chemistry. (How a catalyst worked) 

[gwalchmai]

1 hour ago, Dric902 said:

Was that the stuff that burned like hell, or was that iodine?

IIRC, there was an unholy trinity - mercurochrome, merthiolate, and iodine. They all burned with a vengance.

[Dric902]

Just now, gwalchmai said:

IIRC, there was an unholy trinity - mercurochrome, merthiolate, and iodine. They all burned with a vengance.

And Castor Oil was a cure for everything from headaches to cuts

[gwalchmai]

When I was little, my dad told my cousin and me that he was going to get us a giant bird, called an Aardvark (yeah, I know) for Christmas. He said we could raise it and when it was grown we could fly on its back. But only if we were good. We really, really tried to be good, but boys being boys we apparently pushed the limits somewhere that year and wound up with socks.

[aomagrat]

If I swallowed a watermelon seed a watermelon would grow in my stomach.

[deputy tom]

2 hours ago, Dric902 said:

Was that the stuff that burned like hell, or was that iodine?

Tincture of merthiolate. tom.

[Batesmotel]

2 hours ago, Dric902 said:

And Castor Oil was a cure for everything from headaches to cuts

My house it was Black Velvet whiskey. At grandmas it was single malt scotch or cognac. 

[Historian]

We only eat the bad rabbits. 

[Huaco Kid]

Slash is real.