Schmidt Meister's Grab Bag

[Schmidt Meister]

[Schmidt Meister]

I have a humorous picture/interaction to share but it has (nice) exposed boobies. Is there a thread for that sort of stuff.

[Schmidt Meister]

[Schmidt Meister]

These seagull imposters are almost as irritating as the real thing, but everybody is having a good laugh at the routine.

[Schmidt Meister]

One night Becky was invited out for a night with the girls. She told her husband that she would be home by midnight, “I promise!” And he conceded because she never asked to go anywhere much and he knew her well enough to know he could trust her dedication to their marriage. Well, the hours passed and the girls were having a great time and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, she headed for home. Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing her husband would probably wake up, Becky cuckooed another 9 times. She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed, she could comprehend that 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos which would be midnight.
The next day her husband asked her what time she got in, she told him “Midnight” and he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, she got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When she asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “Oh ****” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

[Schmidt Meister]

[DAKA]

1 hour ago, Schmidt Meister said:

All WRONG.... You cut it across, then in 3" wide strips...Easy to eat, easy to wrap for freezing

[Schmidt Meister]

(My opinion and the facts say: Bubba Wallace is a bitch and a liar. Anybody that has eyes and was watching the race saw Kyle Larson get loose and maybe slightly touch touch Bubba Wallace’s car. He barely touched it, but the air was disturbed around Wallace’s car, much like Bike Bubba Wallace’s mind, and he hit the wall and then ricocheted into Kyle’s car. Bubba Wallace then enacted an attack on Kyle’s car by diving down the track and destroying both cars.)
NASCAR Suspends Bubba Wallace For Crashing Into Driver And Then Attacking Him.
NASCAR announced Tuesday afternoon that they have suspended driver Bubba Wallace for one race after he violently attacked another driver during a race over the weekend following an accident on the track.
NASCAR suspended Wallace from the next NASCAR Cup Series Championship event after he attacked driver Kyle Larson during the South Point 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.
“Wallace was suspended for one race after he crashed Kyle Larson at Lap 94 of the South Point 400 and proceeded to shove Larson, both violations of Sections 4.3.A and 4.4.C & E of the NASCAR Member Code of Conduct laid out in the NASCAR Rule Book,” NASCAR said in a statement. “Rule 4.4.C lists ‘intentionally wrecking or spinning another vehicle, whether or not that vehicle is removed from Competition as a result’ as one of five member actions that could result in a penalty.’”
The incident happened during Stage 2 of race when Wallace, who won Stage 1, was next to Larson when Larson attempted a three-wide pass.
Larson moved up the track and his car gave a slight tap to Wallace’s car, causing Wallace’s car to brush up against the wall. After brushing up against the wall, Wallace bounced into Larson’s car and then continued by tracking Larson’s car down the track and slamming into the rear of his car, causing both cars to spin out.
NASCAR’s statement on the matter noted that Wallace issued an apology Monday night for the incident but failed to include Wallace’s full statement in which it was clear that Wallace was not apologizing to Larson for what happened.
Wallace’s statement said:
I want to apologize for my actions on Sunday following the on-track incident with Kyle Larson and the No. 5 car.
My behavior does not align with the core values that are shared by 23XI Racing and our partners, who have played a crucial role in my incredible journey to the top of this great sport.
I want to apologize to NASCAR and the fans, along with Christopher Bell, Joe Gibbs Racing, and Toyota for putting them in a situation in the Playoffs that they do not deserve.
I compete with immense passion, and with passion at times comes frustration. Upon reflecting, I should have represented our partners and core team values better than I did by letting my frustrations follow me outside of the car. You live and learn, and I intend to learn from this.
Wallace initially did not take any responsibility for his actions during a post-crash NBC interview and claimed that he did not intentionally slam into Larson’s car, only saying that his “steering was gone” and that Larson “just so happened to be there.”
“It was just a piss poor move on his execution,” Wallace claimed.
When asked about getting out of his vehicle and attacking Larson, Wallace responded that Larson knew what the message was that Wallace was trying to send.
“He knows,” Wallace said. “He knows that what he did was wrong. He wanted to question what I was doing. He never cleared me.”
(When asked about how NASCAR determined that Wallace’s actions were intentional, O’Donnell, NASCAR COO, said that they had a lot of data that they looked at. NBC’s on-screen telemetry of Wallace’s car “seemed to disprove Wallace’s defense” because measurements showed that Wallace was “all the way down on the gas just before hitting Larson” which the report said would “not have been expected if he did not have control of the steering,” Insider reported this week.

[Schmidt Meister]

[Schmidt Meister]

[Schmidt Meister]

Feral pigs run from the combine after being forced out in the open. Feral pigs are destroying crops as they breed in ridiculous numbers. In the last 10-15 seconds is when they break cover.

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_rj6gyvQef91w5pr9j.mp4

[Schmidt Meister]

I thought this was interesting. Never seen it laid out like this before.

[Schmidt Meister]

[Schmidt Meister]

[Schmidt Meister]

The kid got the right answer. The key here is the definition to the word "pretend."

[Schmidt Meister]

What I want, what I really, really want is a Spice Girl to bring me a bucket of original drums and thighs.

KFC has long marketed its chicken as the product of a secret recipe with “11 herbs and spices.”
KFC’s Twitter game is finger lickin’ strong.
In a marketing move that Colonel Sanders himself would have been proud of, someone on Twitter noticed the fast-food chain is highly selective about who it follows on the micro-blogging service.
KFC only follows 11 people, the five former members of the Spice Girls, and six men named Herb.

[railfancwb]

[DAKA]

2 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said:

[Cougar_ml]

5 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said:

What I want, what I really, really want is a Spice Girl to bring me a bucket of original drums and thighs.

KFC has long marketed its chicken as the product of a secret recipe with “11 herbs and spices.”
KFC’s Twitter game is finger lickin’ strong.
In a marketing move that Colonel Sanders himself would have been proud of, someone on Twitter noticed the fast-food chain is highly selective about who it follows on the micro-blogging service.
KFC only follows 11 people, the five former members of the Spice Girls, and six men named Herb.

It took a second to get the pun.

[Schmidt Meister]

23 minutes ago, Cougar_ml said:

It took a second to get the pun.

I should have done something to emphasize the "SPICE" Girls and the "HERBS", huh? Like I did there.

[railfancwb]

7 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said:

I thought this was interesting. Never seen it laid out like this before.

Meanwhile, along with Lake Mead…

https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/18/us/human-bones-mississippi-river-bank/index.html
 

[Cougar_ml]

23 minutes ago, Schmidt Meister said:

I should have done something to emphasize the "SPICE" Girls and the "HERBS", huh? Like I did there.

nah, it's better to have it understated for the pun.  If you over emphasize it then it's too obvious and ends up being a little lame.

[Schmidt Meister]

4 minutes ago, railfancwb said:

Meanwhile, along with Lake Mead…

https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/18/us/human-bones-mississippi-river-bank/index.html
 

We've been to Lake Mead several times, many years apart and it's really sad to see the water level lines on the banks and other features. It is a trip what they're finding in the declining waters though. No telling what they'll find next ...

[railfancwb]

2 minutes ago, Schmidt Meister said:

We've been to Lake Mead several times, many years apart and it's really sad to see the water level lines on the banks and other features. It is a trip what they're finding in the declining waters though. No telling what they'll find next ...

Think Vegas recently completed a third bore to suck water from the lake. This is significantly deeper than the others, going almost to the level of the pre-dam river. 

[pipedreams]

29 minutes ago, railfancwb said:

Meanwhile, along with Lake Mead…

https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/18/us/human-bones-mississippi-river-bank/index.html
 

Speaking of the river being low, my wife is involved with the river cruise boats that stop here locally.  The last two boats were canceled because of water levels being to low.  The barges being loaded with grain are not being filled to capacity so they can navigate without scraping bottom.