Walt Longmire Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 ....you just might not be as tough as my youngest son that we lost 45 years ago today. He lived a shorth life, but there wasn't much fun in it. His twin brother survived and we talked tonight. The pain is still with me. I was running loader yesterday, which is usually one of my happy places. I started thinking about him and was choking up. Was a difficult time for a young family. I'm better now, but years ago I was an angry young man. It didn't take much for me to act out. Lots of fights happened that probably didn't need to. I was logging at the time and that kind of went with the lifestyle then, but I ramped it up some. I often lived like I didn't care whether I lived or died, and it showed. Like I said I'm better now. But get off my lawn anyway. His name is Joshua. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 Never really get over such loses. Eventually get used to them so you can go on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crockett Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 I'm sure Joshua would want you to live a meaning and peaceful life. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBO Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 He will always be in your heart.Respectfully Sent from my Jackboot using Copatalk 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 God bless you Walt...and your son Joshua. There really are not words. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO Fugga Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 I'm glad you were able to handle it. My parents folded after 3 years. Dad couldn't hang on and drank himself to death. Stay strong brother. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 Some folks say we're here for a reason. Some say we're random molecules. I don't know who's right. From your posts over the years I've found you to be a good man, Walt, and that may well be the best any of us can hope to be. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deputy tom Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 I'm very sad to have read this, Walt. I really don't know how I would react if this were to happen to me. Prayers sent. tom. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted February 27, 2021 Author Share Posted February 27, 2021 It was beyond heart breaking for a young couple. He lived almost 1 year with most of that time being in a hospital hundreds of miles from home. We visited him every weekend and sometimes during the week. All while raising his twin brother and older brother. Still had to work as there weren't the resources available like there are these days. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fog Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 Your Joshua is with God, He always takes care of the little ones. I can't hope to explain why He takes some home early. May you find comfort and peace each day. I know you did everything you possibly could for your son. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tadbart Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 Seems wrong, and unnatural, for parents to outlive their children. Nobody can fault you for carrying that pain all your life. Experience makes us who we are, and you've taken your share of beatings. Yet still you are a kind and humorous man. I feel terrible for Joshua's pain and discomfort while he was hospitalized, as well as for your family's great loss. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted February 28, 2021 Author Share Posted February 28, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, tadbart said: Seems wrong, and unnatural, for parents to outlive their children. Nobody can fault you for carrying that pain all your life. Experience makes us who we are, and you've taken your share of beatings. Yet still you are a kind and humorous man. I feel terrible for Joshua's pain and discomfort while he was hospitalized, as well as for your family's great loss. Of course these days it's much easier to monitor blood oxygen. For him during the times he wasn't getting enough oxygen, they struck the bottom of his foot with a triangular shaped tool to pierce the skin and get a little blood to look at. They often did this every hour or so. There were times his feet were so tore up they had to hit his hand which is more painful. He got used to knowing what they were about to do to him. He watched the nurses like a hawk. He loved when we showed up, because we didn't do anything to him other than hold and love him. He certainly knew who his mother was. He eventually had an "Auntie" a lady who volunteered to visit the little angels in the hospital there. She was so moved by Joshua that she wrote a book. Edited February 28, 2021 by Walt Longmire 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted February 28, 2021 Author Share Posted February 28, 2021 If you happened to be in a bar with me, or hanging out at a bonfire party in the woods, and I kicked your ass, it's because I was so messed up inside at the time. Sorry. It didn't make me feel any better either. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holyjohnson Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 My Prayers and Condolences to you all Walt. can`t imagine that kind of loss, God Bless. i used to be a really Violent and quick to fight for really no reason kind of person, i loved to fight and didn't matter if i won or lost or to what end. Life is better without that kind of burden. May Joshua Rest in Peace. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyzz Kydd Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 Sorry for your loss Walt. I can't imagine losing one of my kids. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampfox762 Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 Sorry doesn't express enough sir...No words are enough... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redhookbklyn Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 My deepest sympathy on the 45th anniversary of the loss of your son, Walt. Losing a child is something no parent should have happen. As Tadbart stated it is wrong and unnatural. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterfox Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 There are losses that are beyond pain... beyond words. We're lucky to get through them. And often, getting through these losses is not 'graceful'. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamboolman Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 Walt, Sorry for the loss of your son, Joshua. ms gamboolgal and I lost our only son, Jeffrey, on 27-Oct-19. Totally unexpected at age 34. Turns out he had heart disease and we did not know. No parent should bury a child - it is not natural. It is a hard thing sir. Sincere condolences and prayers offered up. gamboolman 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted February 28, 2021 Author Share Posted February 28, 2021 When we went through this as a family, I prayed, cried, pleaded with God to make Joshua whole. I begged to take his place. As you know that didn't happen. I don't know why. When my oldest son was about 6 years old he was diagnosed with a hole in his heart. We were shaken to our core. At church the following Sunday, we took him to the alter and asked for prayer for him. The church members gathered around, laid hands on him and prayed for healing. He had an appointment with a specialist in Seattle that week and they were going to discuss surgery. At that appointment the Dr. surprised us by informing us that there was NO hole in his heart. If there had been one, it was certainly gone now. Different kids, different situations, and different results. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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