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Schmidt Meister's Grab Bag


Schmidt Meister
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11 minutes ago, Schmidt Meister said:

00 00 00 The Lockhorns - Procrastinating.png

You have no idea how timely this is. I’m sitting in my chair just like that explaining to my wife that the end table I just built was built the way I wanted it. Not the way she wanted it. 

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Not that it will slow things down, but my posting will be very limited today. 64 y/o today and God is celebrating with a solar eclipse, lol. The wife and I have several plans away from the house which is unusual for me in my declining health. Hope you all have a great day.

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7 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said:

Not that it will slow things down, but my posting will be very limited today. 64 y/o today and God is celebrating with a solar eclipse, lol. The wife and I have several plans away from the house which is unusual for me in my declining health. Hope you all have a great day.

No No No....NOTHING can happen to SCHMIDT    WE NEED HIM  :bowdown:

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Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports. The appearance of the phenomenon is being called "Macrocephalic Sesquipedalian Neuroleptic Brain Cataplexy" or MSNBC for short - but not to be confused with typical destructive Liberal Brain Shrivel.

The research, conducted  Dr. JTP Hogsdon  and his team at the University of Southern West Central Minnesota (Go Crimson Frogs!), identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them. More worryingly, Hogsdon told us, as facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.  The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified.
"What we find most puzzling are the strain of fact-resistant humans that seem to deny that aiming a gun at a law enforcement officer is not going to end well, strapping a bomb to themselves does not advance the religion of peace, and most puzzling to us in our findings, why people continue to vote Democrat?" 
While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Dr. Hogsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it's possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.

https://www.diogenesmiddlefinger.com/2024/03/scientists-report-society-endangered-by.html

**00 00 00 MSNBC - "Macrocephalic Sesquipedalian Neuroleptic Brain Cataplexy".jpg

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8 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said:

I asked my ole lady if that was where she went when she was young ... now I've missed breakfast and I didn't even get my coffee delivered to me this morning.

Little B(r)itches Day Care.jpg

My wife would still be laughing if I said that to her.

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2 hours ago, railfancwb said:

 

IMG_7014.jpeg

They swarm so thick here that during the hatch, they fill an interstate bridge and the slime from their bodies causes accidents.  Some years they close the bridge till the plows can clean it up.

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1 hour ago, janice6 said:

My wife would still be laughing if I said that to her.

My wife wouldn't know how to act if I didn't say something juvenile or jokingly crude to her almost every day. I make it my mission to make her laugh every day ... it's also my mission to NEVER let a day go by that I don't let her know that she means everything to me.

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13 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said:

My wife wouldn't know how to act if I didn't say something juvenile or jokingly crude to her almost every day. I make it my mission to make her laugh every day ... it's also my mission to NEVER let a day go by that I don't let her know that she means everything to me.

Smart man, there is NOTHING to be gained by pissing off your wife :bowdown:

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Today my wife was telling me how disgusted and depressed she was with the "liquid in her inner ear" and the resulting dizziness.  

I told her to be patient, all things take time.  She got snotty and told me she didn't want to wait, she wants it to go away now!

I told her, you have to have patience since any physical complain takes time to go away.  Besides, I said it isn't the dizziness you are upset with.  It's the fact that you are so spoiled by me that you now can't wait for anything and demand immediate results.

I have only myself to blame for this since I try to give you everything you want as soon as I can so you don't have to wait.

YOU ARE SPOILED ROTTEN.  The sooner you recognize this the sooner you will feel better and stop whining to me like a little girl.  Also, stamping your feet accomplishes nothing since it only irritates me.

Her reply was,  I KNOW, I WAS ONLY TELLING YOU WHAT I WANT AND I WANT IT NOW!

I told her if she didn't shut up about this I was going to cancel both orders of jewelry and some tops I bought her just for being my little girl.

She said, I'm sorry!

I don't believe for a minute that she's sorry and I didn't cancel the orders since they are on the way anyhooooo.

As punishment, I sent her to bed.  I crawled in a few minutes later.  She asked what I was doing in bed.  I said this is you punishment!

I do not lie, and I swear this is our discussion.  (She is spoiled rotten and it's my fault, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat)

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