Batesmotel Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 Girl in the neighborhood is ready to call off the wedding because of the costs. The “Dream Wedding” she planned as a little girl is way out of her budget. But now that both mothers are involved the proposed budget is astronomical. Supposedly north of $60,000. There is no way for either families to come up with this money but the mothers are pushing for some Cinderella wedding crap. The girl is ready to call it off or elope leaving everyone else out. I’m proposing this budget to her mother. What have I left out? These are all verified prices License $50. Dress $400 with alterations. Maid of honor dress. $70 Groom and best man’s tux rental $100 Brides maids dresses. $0. Wear black dress they already own. Groomsmen. $0 wear dark suits they already own. Ceremony in chapel with church officiant. $6. You read that right. Reception at church or pavilion in church owned park next to church depending on weather. $150. Rented decorations $500. Setup by the congregation. Refreshments. $500. Served by kids in the congregation. Plates, cups, napkins, table covers etc. $300 Cake with engraved knife. $400. Includes a couple sheet cakes so everyone has some cake. Photographer. All digital RAW and JPEG files. No prints. Bride can make prints later. Formal bridal portrait the week of and all usual photos day of. $500 Bridal Suite at local hotel that specializes in weddings and anniversaries. $400. I get $3376. Alternatively, license and ceremony at the courthouse. $150 and no one gets to celebrate the day with them. Or option 3 is both families go bankrupt to give the mothers the dream wedding they never had. Either way the kids are still just as married. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 Odds are the dual bankruptcy wedding won’t last while the moderate church wedding or justice of the peace wedding will. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 I wonder how many brides and/or grooms have secretly wanted to run and hide as the “I do” moment draws closer. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fog Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 Weddings are another thing Hollyweird has ruined, everybody thinks "the day" matters, when in reality it's all the days after it that matter most. 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Spicoli Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 1 hour ago, railfancwb said: Odds are the dual bankruptcy wedding won’t last while the moderate church wedding or justice of the peace wedding will. Ahh, 50/50. If the Bride is hung up on a "storybook" wedding, might I suggest he has the wrong bride? I did about 20 wedding photography gigs over 5 years? The industry is WAY overpriced. Not we got married on the cheap in Vegas for about 3K but that was 20yrs ago and included us buying a dinner buffet for about 20 guests that came out for it. Get the license, find a church, use their fellowship hall for the reception, and cater or hell, make it a potluck. Someone is probably licensed with Universal life church so they don't even need to pay a minister. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borg warner Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 2 hours ago, El Spicoli said: Ahh, 50/50. If the Bride is hung up on a "storybook" wedding, might I suggest he has the wrong bride? I did about 20 wedding photography gigs over 5 years? The industry is WAY overpriced. Not we got married on the cheap in Vegas for about 3K but that was 20yrs ago and included us buying a dinner buffet for about 20 guests that came out for it. Get the license, find a church, use their fellowship hall for the reception, and cater or hell, make it a potluck. Someone is probably licensed with Universal life church so they don't even need to pay a minister. A wedding like that would be something to talk about years later and would make for good memories. What's important is what's in your heart on the day you get married not how much money you spend. I had an ex girlfriend who I stayed friends with and I went to her second and third weddings. Her name was Tina and her second husband was named Tony. At the reception I was the first one to offeer up a really good toast but almost screwed it up. I raised my glass and said, "To Tina and - (and I ALMOST said Tony, her Ex-husbands name!) but I caught myself in time and said BOB and went on to say, "May you always be as happy as you are on this day." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 8 hours ago, railfancwb said: I wonder how many brides and/or grooms have secretly wanted to run and hide as the “I do” moment draws closer. At my cousin John's bachelor party someone painted "HELP" and "ME!" on the soles of his wedding shoes. When he knelt before the preacher the congregation broke into laughter and applause. God rest his soul. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmohme Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 When my daughter got married, she did not want a big wedding but Mother's in Laws both insisted, so arrangements were made, but then Covid stepped in and saved the day. The venue that was going to be used was in total shut down along with the rest of the world. My girl was talking to me about it and did not know what to do, I told her that this was her opportunity to just go do the legal part and tell everyone to celebrate later, and that is exactly what she did. I am totally ok with their decision on it. Asside from politicians salaries, Weddings and Funerals are two of the biggest wastes of money in the known universe. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batesmotel Posted March 5 Author Share Posted March 5 To be clear it’s the mothers driving this mess. The girl is ready to elope. I got involved because one of the mothers approached me about recommendations for a photographer. Mommy didn’t like my budget. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Cicero Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 My oldest brought “the one” home for Spring Break. They are serious. When his parents and sister came to pick him up (they live 150 miles south of us), we took them out to lunch. We had a lovely time, including the part where we all agreed long engagements are bad for a relationship, short engagements are better, lol. I’m relieved my daughter wants a small wedding/reception, just close family and her and his real friends. She knows what we can afford, she has good financial management skills, and I’m telling her she’s in charge of the guest list. She doesn’t need my friends at her wedding. Or any of the extended family she isn’t close to anyway. And this is assuming the two of them don’t decide to take the cash and elope, which I have also made an option. She did say she could get married in the backyard and have the reception under a tent there… until I pointed out the wedding party/guests would necessarily include 50-80 free- ranging chickens. I think she should have it in his church, actually. That would solve a lot of issues… 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmohme Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 Ah yes, There is that dreaded guest list. One of the things that was a deciding factor for my daughter once the covid panic made it possible was that ever growing guest list provided by a pair of "Bridezilla" mothers. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 I sent my wife to be a plane ticket to come to me and get married. I "forgot" to notify her parents, my parent, my siblings. I felt my marriage was to the one I love and not everyone else. My wife came off the plane with my older sister as chaperone. I was married by the end of the day, by the priest of her choice. I told the priest that if the church didn't marry us by the end of the day, then it would be a civil ceremony. They acquiesed. My wife was Catholic and I was not. We had my sister and two strangers as witnesses. We both were 18 years old. We were now roughly 2,000 miles from any family and on our own. We survived with a few calamities. We are now 84/85 years old and more in love than ever before. I see no impact on my marriage from not having a lot of formal bs associated with my initial marriage. My son got married to his bride in a park with immediate family in attendence. His first, her second. They seem destined to stay together also. I believe that enduring love is necessary to a marriage, not a room full of people that leave after the ceremony and contribute nothing to the continuing relationship. My wife is my life, not a bunch of "observers for a day". 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAKA Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 7 hours ago, Mrs.Cicero said: My oldest brought “the one” home for Spring Break. They are serious. When his parents and sister came to pick him up (they live 150 miles south of us), we took them out to lunch. We had a lovely time, including the part where we all agreed long engagements are bad for a relationship, short engagements are better, lol. I’m relieved my daughter wants a small wedding/reception, just close family and her and his real friends. She knows what we can afford, she has good financial management skills, and I’m telling her she’s in charge of the guest list. She doesn’t need my friends at her wedding. Or any of the extended family she isn’t close to anyway. And this is assuming the two of them don’t decide to take the cash and elope, which I have also made an option. She did say she could get married in the backyard and have the reception under a tent there… until I pointed out the wedding party/guests would necessarily include 50-80 free- ranging chickens. I think she should have it in his church, actually. That would solve a lot of issues… Take the MONEY (House down payment nest egg) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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