Ricordo Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 This is what I was taught, this is what I believe. Feel free to substitute and use any noun you may deem proper. Imagine an eternal, central generator. Imagine strings of light bulbs all attached to the same generator. Some light bulbs carry higher wattage, some lesser. At times, always, some light bulbs dim, almost entirely. Nothing particularly consequential, it just is. This morning my FIL died. But my wife does not believe like me. I have to take care of her. She's my fellow light bulb. Take care all. Be back when she feels better. 3 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tadbart Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Sorry for you guys' loss. I like the way you think. I take comfort in knowing how big the universe is, and accepting my impact upon it. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alabusa Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Condolences Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwalchmai Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 My sympathies for your loss. Your belief sounds as good as anything else I've heard. ? 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tous Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Condolences and best wishes, amigo. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dric902 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 I’m sorry, stay close to her, let her say whatever she wants just be there . 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC Tiger Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 So sorry to hear. As to what to say/do - I will share something my pastor says - "Times of grief are not the time to correct bad theology." So if she says something that is incorrect, don't try to correct it. 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Take care of her, and yourself, sir. God bless. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bish1309 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 My deepest condolences for your recent loss. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 11 hours ago, Ricordo said: This is what I was taught, this is what I believe. Feel free to substitute and use any noun you may deem proper. Imagine an eternal, central generator. Imagine strings of light bulbs all attached to the same generator. Some light bulbs carry higher wattage, some lesser. At times, always, some light bulbs dim, almost entirely. Nothing particularly consequential, it just is. This morning my FIL died. But my wife does not believe like me. I have to take care of her. She's my fellow light bulb. Take care all. Be back when she feels better. It's hard to console a family member with words. Love seems to work best. I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy. God Bless. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NPTim Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 (edited) Condolences, prayers for strength and healing. Edited January 10, 2020 by NPTim 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huski92 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Sorry to hear. Comfort your wife and family. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 4 hours ago, janice6 said: It's hard to console a family member with words. Love seems to work best. Went to a friend's funeral today: The homily was pretty much what you just said. Where words fail love works. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricordo Posted January 10, 2020 Author Share Posted January 10, 2020 Thank you all for your kind words. I'm on a break right now and my wife is doing better than I expected. Here's the nutshell. A couple of years ago a dermatologist found a stupid cancer on top of his head, smack in the middle. Squamous, highly treatable and usually not a problem. The excision was performed and he went home. That was the mistake, warning! He did not follow up with a cancerologist. Don't make that mistake. Sure enough, it wasn't a total excision and things only got worse. Take into account that he died today at 97 and pretty much was stubborn as a mule. Received some radiation therapy but after the first round he called it quits. He "was too old for that", he said. So from the skin it went to the cranium and then to the brain. Not a happy sight. IIRC, I first met him in late 1985. Good man and father. My wife was his "favorite", the one to lean on. You who have daughters know how that goes. Kindly, let his experience with the initial diagnosis and treatment serve as a cautionary tale. Follow up. People will miss you sorely. And may The Lord bestow his blessings upon you all and your loved ones. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Historian Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Always ask your barber to look for it. It's the biggest killer in ny state. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 I am a little surprised at my doctors. Over the years I have had a few doctors, and each one I had to ask them to check things that were not right on my skin. I have posted before that my skin is from a Redhead ancestry on my mother's side. I only inherited her skin, but it's so fragile that I have had to make a concerted effort to minimize sun exposure because I don't tan, I only keep burning. Even now I can't use band aides because the band aide will rip the patch of skin it's stuck to. Anyway, back to my point. Every doctor I have had when asked to check an "itchy" spot or other anomalous area that has existed for some time, has excised a Cancer area. I have had a number of these removed over time. One doctor had me put cortisone salve behind one ear to stop the skin condition there. I went back and told him something is wrong! When I put the salve on, the spot moves around over a short time. Well he checked and it had turned into skin Cancer. It was removed. When the surgeon cut into my scalp, I told him I felt every bit of the cutting and the anesthetic wasn't working! He Blithely said, well I asked you to tell me if you felt anything and you did, so the system worked. I could have strangled him. It did hurt! A lot!!! One doctor looked further at my request and found a spot on the underside of my Biceps on one arm, and removed it. He confirmed a Melanoma. My point is that the above posts are most important and you have to keep on your doctor to check. It isn't as frightening if found early. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASH Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 i know this well , im in the top 5 for skin cancers . farmer . and growing up working the fields never wearing sunscreen . except for last 20 years i have wore long sleeves , hat and 80 sunblock . ive already had places taken off my ears , froze off side of nose , arms . i go to my dermatologist atleast 4 times yearly to be checked as he has known my family for over 40 years . skin cancer is nothing to play with . matter of fact i got spot to be froze off this week right between eyebrows 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holyjohnson Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 my Condolences on your Loss. Prayers to you and your Family. God Bless. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pfigment Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Condolences to you, your wife, and family sir..... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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