Sad drug use. Sad work stories.

[Silentpoet]

I have a case that the parents are about a month away from the hearing that will terminate their parental rights.  I supervised a family visitation this past week.  Another worker performed an observed drug screen on mom.  Positive for meth.  

I suppose it should make me angry, but it just makes me sad.  They love the meth more than their kids.  Case after case like this. 

 

In other news, Friday I had to observe the drug screen of a sex offender.  He has molested his kids.  I don’t think he has actively gone after other children but I could be wrong.  Oh, he is also a known cross dresser.  Smallest dick I had to look at this week.

Edited July 20, 2019 by Silentpoet

[Dric902]

We have been through the DCS, CHINS, family courts as foster parents numerous times. Taken foster kids to visitation when they didn’t want to go, but we’re ordered to. Had a foster call me Papa and ask if we could go “home” while the parents were there looking on.

it doesn’t change. Very, very few break that cycle

 

.

[jame]

After heavy cocaine use in the mid to late 1980’s, my brother fell into the trap of prescription drugs, thinking that success was in the bottom of a pill bottle.  He drained my parents of 10’s of thousands of dollars playing the victim card.

After years of pleading, Dad finally saw through the facade and the show was over.  After a couple of more years of doctor shopping, he was forced the straighten up.

Sadly, too little too late, because he had chemically lobotomized himself, and he lives almost continuously in the 1980’s.

It’s too bad, really.  He was tremendously successful, with a great career, beautiful wife and family, and beautiful home.  All down the drain for nothing.

[Silentpoet]

24 minutes ago, Dric902 said:

We have been through the DCS, CHINS, family courts as foster parents numerous times. Taken foster kids to visitation when they didn’t want to go, but we’re ordered to. Had a foster call me Papa and ask if we could go “home” while the parents were there looking on.

it doesn’t change. Very, very few break that cycle

 

.

Yep, most of our parents were also kids.  One of the foster parents said she had I want to say 14 foster kids and in at least 12-13 cases one or both parents had been in foster care.

 

We had one girl who would dance when mom didn't show up for a visit.

[RS_Rider]

Lost two relatives to drug overdoses this year. 

[Clancy]

I can think of at least 25 people I know who have OD'd in the past 3 years. Not personal friends, but bar patrons from the bars I have worked at. Sad, but they have no one to blame but themselves. I really am losing interest in trying to save people who do not want to be saved. I know of one guy who was saved by Narcan 6 times in a week, twice in one day.

As for close to home, we are dealing with a grandson who was sexually abused by his mother's boyfriend for several years. Raped. Sometimes with mom in the room, stoned out of her mind. Yeah, the kid has issues and I don't think he can be saved, but I hope I am wrong. He is a raging ball of anger who hates the world. I don't blame him at all.

[janice6]

Somehow some of the present population has been brainwashed into thinking that they are pawns to others and can't actually influence the way their lives will turn out.

The idea of fighting against any odds to survive and control your own future, has been diminishing in many people. 

The idea of gritting your teeth and meeting all foes head on with your pike in the ground, has been turned into a belief in capitulation. 

That the easy way out is the only way out.  To give in takes less energy than to fight back.

I told each my kid while they were growing up, that they were the only ones that controlled how and what they did in life. 

That a goal was only worth anything if you fought for it.  I told them that  you had to care for how you did in life because everyone else was worrying about themselves. 

You have only you to fight for what you desire out of your existence.  Be aggressive, be determined, fight and never give up that you strive for but not at the expense of your neighbor.

  If you don't care for yourself, no one else will!

I just cannot understand capitulation.  If life was easy everyone would be living high on the hog.  It's not, so you have to have the will to win!

[holyjohnson]

you just cant account for some people.

 

i`ve had Junkies in my family and it was just a matter of time before they killed themselves and everyone knew it.

half the time i say just legalize all of the drugs and let natural selection take its course,but no kid deserves to have to deal with that ****,even so they have to deal with it and which is better a dead Junkie parent or a parent that cares more about getting a fix then their kid.

Bless those kids though.

[janice6]

3 minutes ago, holyjohnson said:

you just cant account for some people.

 

i`ve had Junkies in my family and it was just a matter of time before they killed themselves and everyone knew it.

half the time i say just legalize all of the drugs and let natural selection take its course,but no kid deserves to have to deal with that ****,even so they have to deal with it and which is better a dead Junkie parent or a parent that cares more about getting a fix then their kid.

Bless those kids though.

I agree!   Adults have made a definite choice.  But, kids still have a chance to learn.

[Huaco Kid]

2 hours ago, janice6 said:

Somehow some of the present population has been brainwashed into thinking that they are pawns to others and can't actually influence the way their lives will turn out.

The idea of fighting against any odds to survive and control your own future, has been diminishing in many people. 

The idea of gritting your teeth and meeting all foes head on with your pike in the ground, has been turned into a belief in capitulation. 

That the easy way out is the only way out.  To give in takes less energy than to fight back.

I told each my kid while they were growing up, that they were the only ones that controlled how and what they did in life. 

That a goal was only worth anything if you fought for it.  I told them that  you had to care for how you did in life because everyone else was worrying about themselves. 

You have only you to fight for what you desire out of your existence.  Be aggressive, be determined, fight and never give up that you strive for but not at the expense of your neighbor.

  If you don't care for yourself, no one else will!

I just cannot understand capitulation.  If life was easy everyone would be living high on the hog.  It's not, so you have to have the will to win!

I was born 100 years too late.

[ASH]

ive you alot of credit  for what you do , i couldnt ,  as usual most family trees bend somewhere

my 2 daughters grew up  fine  not to mention me and mom were there when  something came up . just small stuff

worst i run into were a few boyfriends  i had concerns over and told all of them and my girls you **** up  you are on your own 

then drinking in college  which is what 98%  do .  but  they knew the limits , my dad and mom raised me right and im thankful

i had them as parents .  my dad showed me something once , you mess up its on you  ,  mom tad more forgiving  . i remember 

hanging out with my friends drinking at our spot in the woods , dad said you late getting home door is locked period . 

 

in todays world  looks like the kids are raising the parents  .  i had a adopted sister who would steal from my parents , get locked up 

in trouble all the time on all kinds of drugs  dad disowned her never blinked an eye .  her kids turned out same way    . i would not piss on any

of them to put out a fire . bad to say  but they had penty chances and were not gonna change .  my dad passed at 70  in 95   , mom in 2017  at 89 and

she held out hope til the end for her grand kids  ,it still burns my ass to think about it , she had such a good heart . she was mad at me when i banned all

of them from property  but later knew i was taking care of her . i had heard they were crash her funeral  because they were told to not come , its bad to hire security  during a funeral  ,but it is what it is .  

Edited July 21, 2019 by ASH

[Huaco Kid]

3 minutes ago, ASH said:

worst i run into were a few boyfriends  i had concerns over and told all of them and my girls you **** up  you are on your own

When my oldest daughter was in high school,  I heard a little bit to much one night (I was in my basement office. with the little casement window open).

I took a hockey stick to his knee.  Like a baseball player.

My daughter said he never bothered, or talked to her, again.

[Huaco Kid]

It was dark.

I came from the bushes like Michael.

I never even said a word.

[Rellik]

Could somebody expand on what a supervised visit is, beyond just being safety monitor.  Such as what are your responsibilities, limits to your actions, etc.

[Huaco Kid]

The parents have the "right" to spend time with their children,  but aren't allowed to be with them unsupervised.

Limits?  Wow, don't know.

He could call the cops if it all went south?

Or a hockey stick.

[Silentpoet]

11 minutes ago, Rellik said:

Could somebody expand on what a supervised visit is, beyond just being safety monitor.  Such as what are your responsibilities, limits to your actions, etc.

It is part of the court ordered process of foster care.  Ideally it would progress from more supervision to less supervision.  I am there to observe and document interactions, maintain the safety and health of the child, make sure the conversations are appropriate.  Depending on the case it might start out where you have to directly maintain eyes on the visit by sitting right in the room or right in the doorway to just being in the office in a room where people are within earshot.  Then it progresses to the parents being able to take the child for an hour or two to overnight visits.  Of course this assumes the parents are progressing in the case plan and not falling back. 

[Rellik]

Thank you. 

[Dric902]

2 hours ago, Rellik said:

Could somebody expand on what a supervised visit is, beyond just being safety monitor.  Such as what are your responsibilities, limits to your actions, etc.

As a foster parent. 

DCS or the court set visitation at a neutral place and have supervisors or observers attend the visit. Usually at family centers with various toys or games. No tv or computers, cell phones must be turned in. They are forced to interact with the kids.

the observer interacts as little as possible. Making reports to the court/DCS

the fosters bring the kids and pick them up. Usually with no interaction with the parents.

 

.

[tadbart]

rough week too, man. 16 y/o F doesn't want to ride home with drunk mom.

drunk mom pushes kid down a flight of stairs. rolled ankle.

kid limps to ER, grandma gives phone consent.

 

guess who picks kid up a couple hours later? wasn't local PD, wasn't DCF.

[Dric902]

1 hour ago, tadbart said:

rough week too, man. 16 y/o F doesn't want to ride home with drunk mom.

drunk mom pushes kid down a flight of stairs. rolled ankle.

kid limps to ER, grandma gives phone consent.

 

guess who picks kid up a couple hours later? wasn't local PD, wasn't DCF.

Isn’t the ER staff obligated to report?

 

.

[ASH]

1 hour ago, Dric902 said:

Isn’t the ER staff obligated to report?

 

.

Yeah but to many made up stories I would imagine things like this overwhelms staff and some don't care .I saw a movie where girl saw drunk dad being abusive to daughter she whooped him took his license and said you mistreat again I know where you live and your name

[Silentpoet]

2 hours ago, Dric902 said:

Isn’t the ER staff obligated to report?

 

.

And it also depends on the relationships between the hospital and the child welfare staff.  In our small town I think it is pretty decent.  But it wouldn't be hard to picture it not being so in various places.  There are certain things that the police are supposed to report to us, that haven't always been reported to us.  Now we have improved relationships but it is a work in progress.  Poor communication does hurt the children.

Edited July 21, 2019 by Silentpoet

[Ricordo]

Started as friend and fellow student. He had back surgery and that's where it started. Later got shot in the upper arm with a .357 slug, that didn't help things. Managed to finish law school and became a Judge. Best man at my wedding and godfather to my daughter. Yes, we were close.

Spiralled out of control, going worse by the day. Forced to resign as a Judge and lawyer. His family torn apart. Entered into rehab.   While in rehab, getting worse. So much so that his dealer refused him. He sets the building on fire. Dealer dies burned to a crisp. He might be released fairly soon, in his mid-late sixties.

Yes, opioids can be really bad.

[tadbart]

8 hours ago, Dric902 said:

Isn’t the ER staff obligated to report?

 

.

yep. the cops came. she clammed up. DCF was a no-show. not their first rodeo together.

[Dric902]

46 minutes ago, tadbart said:

yep. the cops came. she clammed up. DCF was a no-show. not their first rodeo together.

Damn shame