Paul53 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 13 hours ago, Dric902 said: https://oldnfo.org/2019/07/10/snerk-26/ Got these over the transom from an old shipmate… Top 10 Things I Hate About Star Trek 10. Noisy doors. You can’t walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding doors. They’re dead silent. If those doors went “wheet!” every time a person walked through them, about once a month some guy in accounting would snap and go on a shooting rampage. Sorry Scotty, the IEEE has revoked your membership until you learn to master WD-40 9. The Federation. This organization creeps me out. A planet-wide government that runs everything, and that has abolished money. A veritable planetary DMV. Oh sure, it looks like a cool place when you’re rocketing around in a Federation Starship, but I wonder how the guy driving a Federation dump truck feels about it? And everyone has to wear those spandex uniforms. Here’s an important fact: Most people, you don’t want to see them in spandex. You’d pay good money to not have to see them. If money hadn’t been abolished, that is. So you’re screwed. 8. Reversing the Polarity. For cripes sake Giordi, stop reversing the polarity of everything! It might work once in a while, but usually it just screws things up. I have it on good authority that the technicians at Starbase 12 HATE that. Every time the Enterprise comes in for its 10,000 hour checkup, they’ve gotta go through the whole damned ship fixing stuff. “What happened to the toilet in Stateroom 3?” “Well, the plumbing backed up, and Giordi thought he could fix it by reversing the polarity.” Between Scotty’s poor lubrication habits and Geordi’s damned polarity reversing trick, it’s a wonder the Enterprise doesn’t just spontaneously explode whenever they put the juice to it. 7. Seatbelts. Yeah, I know this one is overdone, but you’d think that the first time an explosion caused the guy at the nav station to fly over the captain’s head with a good 8 feet of clearance, someone would say, “You know, we might think of inventing some furutistic restraining device to prevent that from happening.” So of course, they did make something like that for the second Enterprise (the first one blew up due to poor lubrication), but what was it? A hard plastic thing that’s locked over your thighs. Oh, I’ll bet THAT feels good in the corners. “Hey look! The leg-bars worked as advertised! There goes Kirk’s torso!” 6. No fuses. Every time there’s a power surge on the Enterprise the various stations and consoles explode in a shower of sparks and throw their seatbelt-less operators over Picard’s head. If we could get Giordi to stop reversing the polarity for a minute, we could get him to go shopping at the nearest Starship parts store and pick up a few fuses. And while he’s shopping, he could stop at an intergalactic IKEA and pick up a few chairs for the bridge personnel. If you’re going to put me in front of a fuseless exploding console all day, the least you could do is let me sit down. 5. Rule by committee. Here’s the difference between Star Trek and the best SF show on TV last year: Star Trek: Picard: “Arm photon torpedoes!” Riker: “Captain! Are you sure that’s wise?” Troi: “Captain! I’m picking up conflicting feelings about this! And, it appears that you’re a ‘fraidy cat.” Wesley: “Captain, I’m just an annoying punk, but I thought I should say something.” Worf: “Captain, can I push the button? This is giving me a big Klingon warrior chubby.” Giordi: “Captain, I think we should reverse the polarity on them first.” Picard: “I’m so confused. I’m going to go to my stateroom and look pensive.” Firefly: Captain: “Let’s shoot them.” Crewman: “Are you sure that’s wise?” Captain: “Do you know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I’ll BEAT YOU WITH until you realize who’s in command.” Crewman: “Aye Aye, sir!” 4. A Star Trek quiz: Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and ‘Ensign Gomez’ beam down to a planet. Which one isn’t coming back? 3. Technobabble. The other night, I couldn’t get my car to start. I solved the problem by reversing the polarity of the car battery, and routing the power through my satellite dish. The resulting subspace plasma caused a rift in the space-time continuum, which created a quantum tunnelling effect that charged the protons in the engine core, thus starting my car. Child’s play, really. As a happy side-effect, I also now get the Spice Channel for free. 2. The Holodeck. I mean, it’s cool and all. But do you really believe that people would use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the holodeck clean. 1. The Prime Directive. How stupid is this? Remember when Marvin the Martian was going to blow up the Earth, because it obstructed his view of Venus? And how Bugs Bunny stopped him by stealing the Illudium Q36 Space Modulator? Well, in the Star Trek universe, Bugs would be doing time. Probably in a room filled with Roseanne lookalikes wearing spandex uniforms, walking through doors going WHEET! all day. It would be hell. At least until the Kaboom. The Earth-shattering Kaboom And the space craft design! Why are they streamlined? Last I heard there's no air in space, hence no need for streamlining! 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 59 minutes ago, Paul53 said: And the space craft design! Why are they streamlined? Last I heard there's no air in space, hence no need for streamlining! When they all pop into the same solar system from hyperspace, why is every spacecraft in Star Wars oriented and aligned exactly the same? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silentpoet Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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deputy tom Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 14 hours ago, KWalrad said: My Three Sons - with Fred McMurray. I used to watch that every evening after supper. I can't recall the son's names (without cheating) though... Chip, Ernie, ....? Mike, Robbie (in that pic) and Chip. Ernie was adopted and came along later. Bub was the first uncle who was replaced later by uncle Charlie. tom. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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SC Tiger Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 (edited) 9 hours ago, Paul53 said: And the space craft design! Why are they streamlined? Last I heard there's no air in space, hence no need for streamlining! In the latest Star Trek series (where they've broken the shvt out of the Enterprise twice and got it destroyed once) they actually had seatbelts. And scanners on the two consoles in the front. From a grocery store. (Front of the console, in the middle) I almost passed out on the Holodeck one. People would be doing some weird and perverted stuff in there...... And WTF was the doctor on the bridge so much? Shouldn't he be in - I dunno - sick bay or something? Edited July 12, 2019 by SC Tiger 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC Tiger Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Former Auburn coach Gene Chizik 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Black bears don't care if you play dead, they will keep attacking. Reminds me of 20 years ago at the Omaha zoo. I was there with my soon to be wife. There was a lone male Gorilla, in a plexiglass enclosure and people were taunting it, and it was banging the hell out of the enclosure. I told here, let's leave before someone really pisses it off and breaks through. She said, don't you have your work pistol on? I said, yes, but I don't know if 12 shots of .40 will stop a rampaging Gorilla, and if they keep taunting and torturing it, they'll get what they deserve. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 2 hours ago, pipedreams said: Other than the dog types that looks familiar. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 1 hour ago, pipedreams said: Government Employee talking with Management. It works a lot like that. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 8 hours ago, Dric902 said: Take two, and don't call in the morning? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Is the safety “off”?Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 10 hours ago, Silentpoet said: Brent Spiner is funny. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 15 hours ago, Dric902 said: If I can get GPS directions on my phone.... The F-5E Tigers of the aerobatic display team missed their target by about 6 km. A rather unusual as well as bit embarrassing “incident” occurred to the the Swiss Air Force’s “Patrouille Suisse” Display Team on Saturday Jul. 6, 2019: the team’s jets were scheduled to fly over Langenbruck, in northwestern Switzerland, south of Basel, where the commemoration of the 100th anniversary of the death of Swiss aviation pioneer Oskar Bider was held, but they flew over Mümliswil, missing the target by about 6 km. “Unfortunate circumstances” were the root cause of the mistake according to a spokesman of the Swiss Air Force. In fact, as reported by Le Matin media outlet, during the approach to the target, the leader of the team spotted a large festival area with a tent, with a tent in Mümliswil, which prompted him to fly over it. The 31st yodel festival in northwestern Switzerland was being held there: people attending this festival enjoyed the unplanned flyover. . Holloman AFB when they first started the Stealth Fighter and the Stealth bomber also had some technical issues to work out. For example, one of them had to bail as it stalled in midair, and he ejected. The aircraft took out part of a trailer complex. I wonder why trailers always get screwed? AF pilots were taunted for awhile by the public. I remember my father had to go to some scenes where an ejection failed, and he would explain the gory details, like entrails and disembodied parts, the pilots K-bar knife broken and the blade being buried under ground. The depictions never disturbed me. So, later in life running into dead bodies in the middle of nowhere wasn't all that surprising. It's only bad when they haven't decomposed to the point of not stinking. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 On 7/10/2019 at 6:26 PM, Dric902 said: I like Lamour much better. Did you get those pics from the above top secret black file that you have access to? . Yup. Google. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dric902 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 44 minutes ago, railfancwb said: Is the safety “off”? Yes, are you ok? . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moshe Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 On 7/9/2019 at 2:15 AM, Eric said: NSFE Hide contents I tried from the top down with my Onion skin ZT knife. Damn tight zip tie on the product came down, but it bled like an SOB, and hurt for days. Now, I know from experience what blood drop evidence looks like when the aggressor with the knife cuts himself. In my case, I was the aggressor to a zip tie and made blood droplets all the way to the sink, and pouring rubbing alcohol on it, gauze and band aid. It hurt like an SOB and throbbed for days. Not so much anymore. The nail should come off soon as it cut right through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Punctuation matters...Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Yes, are you ok? .Fortunately not triggered...Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Eric Posted July 12, 2019 Author Administrators Share Posted July 12, 2019 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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