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Eric

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9 hours ago, pipedreams said:

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In high school a teacher reprimanded me and my girlfriend for kissing in the hall.  Many years later I encountered that same teacher and I reminded him that he was right.  He said that my actions in the hall would come to no good.  I introduced him to my wife of 30 some years (at that time).  He couldn't have been more wrong!

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Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over".
So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy."
The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body.
Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arseholes."
"What? He had two arseholes?" asked the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes....'"
★¨`*•♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫ ..•
 
 
 
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Where do they come up with all these stupid names of new drugs they advertise on TV?

“Hello, Manufacturers Moniker Hotline, how can I help you.”
“Yeah, our lab came up with a new medication and we need a name.”
“Okay. Tell me, what condition does it address?”
“It’s another new diabetes oral med.”
“Oh my, that’s the sixth one this week. We’ll have to get a bit creative with this one. Wait one, please.”

(muffled whispering in the background)
“Dave, hey Dave . . . What are you eating?”
“A ham and provolone grinder on wheat.”
“Okay thanks. Humm, ham, provolone, wheat . . . I got it.”

“Sir, your new medication is obviously done by professionals, with old world quality. I suggest we call it Pro-Valoni.”
“Pro-Valoni, hugh? Well, that has a ring to it. Okay, sounds like a winner. Glad we could wrap this up before lunch, I’m getting hungry. Thanks.”
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