Schmidt Meister Posted July 27, 2022 Author Share Posted July 27, 2022 I made a new meme after someone on Fecesbook complained, lol. They weren't much happier with the new and improved version, rofl. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted July 27, 2022 Share Posted July 27, 2022 On 7/22/2022 at 8:05 AM, Schmidt Meister said: I have seen many, variations of this lately and I modified it to more aptly fit Florida: In regards to all the people wanting to move to Florida from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated liberal cities across the country, and for those just wanting to come to visit: Before you come to Florida you must be aware and understand what exactly is happening here. There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers. So, if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing near our rivers, springs, beaches, or lakes this summer, I think you should know that black widow and brown recluse spiders (which are deadly poisonous), fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers. Our lakes are full of gators, fresh water sharks, along with huge bald and golden eagles that are known to snatch small children and animals. Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes and gangs of old guys wearing overalls. Starving Florida panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children. The local coyote population are all 'in heat' and are roaming city streets looking for unaware prey and they are getting braver. Snakes ... don’t even get me started on the water moccasins and copperheads here, and the diamondback rattlesnakes and coral snakes, all of whom are involved in mating and can be highly irritable. The poison ivy, sumac and poison oak have overtaken all other vegetation. This plants can cause debilitating itching, extreme diarrhea and uncontrollable vomiting. We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets … and more than our normal number of cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars. Watch out for the flocks of great horned owls, they have been extremely aggressive this season. Porcupines are attacking small children should they dare to wonder to close to woods and rural vegetation. Skunks have multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer. We’ve got great swarms of yellow jackets and they need no provocation. And we shouldn’t even need to warn you about the notorious Florida Man that have been multiplying at tremendous rates and can be encountered at almost every convenience store and back roads should be considered off limits. Oh, and no one is vaccinated or wearing masks. I hear Kentucky and Ohio are really nice though. Then, why are you there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted July 27, 2022 Share Posted July 27, 2022 On 7/17/2022 at 2:36 PM, DAKA said: Too many people want to get out of the Northeast, so developers keep acquiring more land that used to be habitat for the alligators. What is the answer Lunch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 27, 2022 Author Share Posted July 27, 2022 10 minutes ago, janice6 said: Then, why are you there? Because I love it here. The story is 'SATIRE' and it's purpose is to humorously keep people from moving to the state of Florida. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted July 27, 2022 Share Posted July 27, 2022 On 7/18/2022 at 1:29 PM, Schmidt Meister said: Brandon displays his ... you know, the thing ... Jack. On 7/18/2022 at 1:29 PM, Schmidt Meister said: Brandon displays his ... you know, the thing ... Jack. That we are cursed to have this demented individual as an official in the United States Government, is a testament to the perversity prevalent in our political system today. We have leaders put into office that are incompetent and criminals, yet we don't remove them. What does this say about us as a nation..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted July 27, 2022 Share Posted July 27, 2022 2 minutes ago, Schmidt Meister said: Because I love it here. The story is 'SATIRE' and it's purpose is to humorously keep people from moving to the state of Florida. I know! I just wanted to hear you say that it has a secondary purpose. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted July 27, 2022 Share Posted July 27, 2022 Minnesota has extremely cold weather but it doesn't stop snakes from congregating here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 27, 2022 Author Share Posted July 27, 2022 1 minute ago, janice6 said: Minnesota has extremely cold weather but it doesn't stop snakes from congregating here. Isn't that one of those states where the garter snakes winter together in huge swarms and come out of hibernation at one time? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 27, 2022 Author Share Posted July 27, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 27, 2022 Author Share Posted July 27, 2022 This is a picture that was taken by a member of a Florida Power and Light service crew. This was taken in the last of February. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 29, 2022 Author Share Posted July 29, 2022 Spongebob Squarefish ... actually a Yellow Boxfish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 29, 2022 Author Share Posted July 29, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 29, 2022 Author Share Posted July 29, 2022 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 30, 2022 Author Share Posted July 30, 2022 When I was about 10 years old I watched an uncle of mine stick a chicken leg in front of an alligator snapping turtle and he snapped it in half, bone and all. This is not an alligator snapping turtle, just a snapping turtle. Don't stick anything you don't want to lose in front of either of them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAKA Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 3 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said: When I was about 10 years old I watched an uncle of mine stick a chicken leg in front of an alligator snapping turtle and he snapped it in half, bone and all. This is not an alligator snapping turtle, just a snapping turtle. Don't stick anything you don't want to lose in front of either of them. Ouchy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 31, 2022 Author Share Posted July 31, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 31, 2022 Author Share Posted July 31, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 31, 2022 Author Share Posted July 31, 2022 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAKA Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 34 minutes ago, Schmidt Meister said: This definitely would be the outcome ... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 31, 2022 Author Share Posted July 31, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted July 31, 2022 Author Share Posted July 31, 2022 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAKA Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 7 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said: AND, They are PISSED OFF AND ARMED 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 10 hours ago, Schmidt Meister said: Think Holder from Obama administration was found guilty of contempt of Congress. Believe his Black Privilege kept him out of jail. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now