Huaco Kid Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 We don't know about the cat. Went out last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) If you put stale pizza crusts in an empty coffee can, and shake it around in the backyard, the dog can hear it from three hills away. She'll be back, the next time you open the door. But, the cows across the street hear it too. And then they all go "MOO!MOO!MOO!MOO!", and the whole herd flocks to the corner of the fence. 100 mooey cows. We don't know what their deal is. Edited May 31, 2020 by Huaco Kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 I guess they like stale pizza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 That's what the Amish do. Order pizza, ten, or 15 times per day. And give the cows the crust. Not even the bubbly parts, just the really hard ones. They chew Domino's twice. Because they have two stomachs. I'm not so adapted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASH Posted June 2, 2020 Share Posted June 2, 2020 did you know a jaguar can hear a stick break 2 miles away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 On 6/2/2020 at 4:33 AM, ASH said: did you know a jaguar can hear a stick break 2 miles away A polar bear can smell you from 20 miles away. And they can do a slow jog for a month, straight. If they are hungry, and you don't have a rifle, you're dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) I have a worm! I bought him. From the petco. I went to buy crickets for the crabs. The crabs can only catch dead crickets, but I put them in there anyway because they eat the crab poo. They only had 50 crickets for $5. I only wanted, like, five of them. I'm cheap. I successfully raised crickets before, but they soon get to 50-trillion crickets, and get all over the place. So I got a worm I didn't really need a worm. He's a "hornworm". Google says they're tomato worms, so $2 was waaay too much for him. You're supposed to feed them to your lizards or snakes. He's pretty slow. The crabs can catch him He comes with a tub of food. He's green and as big as gwamalchi's pecker. So he did nothing but eat the eat tub. And then I came back this week.. He was pretty dead, way off to the side, mostly . I put his head back in the tub, but then I found him, more dead, it the waterbowl. Bottoms up. So, I put the dead him into where the crab's dirt bowl is. And they moved to the other side of the bowl. And the last time I touched the worm, he came back to life! They can hold their breath, or something. He'll either get tragically eaten, in slow motion, or go into a cocoon. We don't know. Edited June 13, 2020 by Huaco Kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) 50 trillion crickets, ÷ by 50/per bag, is 1 trillion bags. X $5 per bag, is $1 trillion. Sure. Open the lid. Go ahead. Do it. Now there are 49.99999 trillion microscopic crickets all over the basement. I don't know how you get them in the bag. Or count them. A trillion dollars worth of crickets, all running around all over the place. I guess the spiders ets them. Edited June 13, 2020 by Huaco Kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 If you put your hand in there, "to catch a couple big ones" (the fish ets them too), it's like a "cricket sparkler", all blowing off, up your elbow, and over your shoulder. SSHHHHHHHHHsssssshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!...... That's what 49 trillion bottle-rocket crickets sound like, going all off all over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) Ew! "Stripey" is eating the worm! Because he's all full of drowning-water and can't run. Very fast. I wonder if his guts are bright green. Maybe they taste like a leprechaun. Spit. spit. spit. I don't know. It's in the moss-bowl. I'll look later. I don't care if they starve. You can leave crabs for, like, 9 months, and they won't starve. They're pretty good pets. They don't bark. Edited June 13, 2020 by Huaco Kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 Hermit crabs can scoot very fast, when they want to. Fat-green worms don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 They sometimes get out in the middle of the night, and read your Isaac Asimov, on the shelf, and run back in, before you wake up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 I'm watching a new TV show, where a team of gay-guys and a team of lesbians eat hot sauce and peppers. I'm not sure of the rules. I should probably go to bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 This episode has gay-guys vs. gay-guys. Gay guys can put a lot of stuff in their faces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 "Hhuuuk. Hhhuuuuuuukkkkk!" It's a reflex action. They like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 The black gay-guys are about to barf more than the white gay-guys. Might be hereditary. They all look pretty barfy. I can do hot, but probably not this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 If it comes out your nose, I don't know, not my problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 And the new show where the old lady sells artwork made out of moose poo. She's the new duck dynasty $200,000 per episode. She's on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 And so... The black gay-guys won. I guess whitey can't deal. They can do trivia and shots of ghost. The final round is called Ring OF Fire!, after you chugged bottles and shots of 2millioin SHU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 All those girls are 280lb elevator repairmen now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 Most of that part that caught on fire was pretty much unintentional. I think it went out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 We've got new neighbors. They haven't linked it all up yet. At sunup, the wind goes downhill. I'm keeping an eye on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 First, the first one: We drove to Canada for a day-trip. First time ever. My daughters were very little. Hit the bridge, the camera light goes "FLASH!" in your faces.. It's on. They asked a couple cursory questions, and then immediately asked where my guns were. (In Pa, your CCW license number is the same as your driver's license number. That's my best guess as to where the question came from.) "Wha...?" "Where are your guns?" "Wha?..." "Would you please pull over there and step out of your car, please." "Do you own guns?" "Yes." "Where are they?" "At home?" "There are no guns in your car?" "No, Sir." "If there were guns in your car, where would they be?" "Wha...?" Then they took our car A. P. A. R. T. They didn't unbolt the seats, but it was that close. I heard them ask my daughters, "Who is this man?" "Uuuhhhhhh...? Dad?" Then they told us to have a nice day and enjoy their country. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huaco Kid Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 Then, Minnesota. For work. I had driven 12 hours. I was two miles from the hotel, just before dark, and my gps took me up a ramp into Canada. I immediately knew that I didn't want to go to Canada. I pulled off into where all the trucks were parked and flagged down a Border Patrol guy and told him I made wrong turn and didn't want to cross the bridge. He said I couldn't U-turn and had to go to the booths. The Canadian guy at the booth asked a couple cursory questions. I told him that I had made a wrong turn, didn't intend to go into Canada, and just wanted to turn back. The next words out of his mouth were, "Do you have any firearms in your car?" I knew better than to lie. "Yes." "Please pull over there and step out of your car." Handcuffs. I had my Glock 26, unloaded, in a locked case, in the trunk. The ammo and mag were in a separate locked case. Thank God. The big deal was, was, why I was bringing a gun into Canada. I had already thoroughly explained that part. And why I didn't have a cable-lock. Canada seems to want cable-locks. "I don't know." "Are you a cowboy?" Now you know you're in deep. They took my car A. P. A. R.T. After telling my story 50 times, they said, "OK", and pulled the barriers out of the way, so I could U-turn back in the USA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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