Schmidt Meister Posted March 30, 2022 Author Share Posted March 30, 2022 My job involves a lot of driving time and I spend a lot of that time thinking about reasonable answers to today’s difficult questions. When I got home today I sat down and had a cold beer or two. The day was really quite beautiful, and the cold drinks facilitated some deep thinking. As I was pondering, an age-old question arose in my mind: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they “know”? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the only realistic, common sense answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is unquestionably more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn’t really “know”, here is the reason for my conclusion … A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, you’ve never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.” I, therefore, rest my case. Time for another beer. 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Schmidt Meister Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 Golfer - Car Wreck And The Woman's Arm A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?" "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it, doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf ever. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors." "That's unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?" "Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Cicero Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 On 4/5/2022 at 12:09 PM, Schmidt Meister said: My husband says I've cost him a hell of a lot more than that 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 9 minutes ago, Mrs.Cicero said: My husband says I've cost him a hell of a lot more than that LOL, No doubt, especially when you figure in the cost of inflation, rofl. You've told him you're damn well worth it, though ... right? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Cicero Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 1 hour ago, Schmidt Meister said: LOL, No doubt, especially when you figure in the cost of inflation, rofl. You've told him you're damn well worth it, though ... right? I stole "his" tractor. And he had to buy more guns because I adopted some of his. And now he's buying more tools to make another fly rod... this one for me. So... I'm only worth it if I get the logs, hay and dirt moved with the tractor, whack a rat with antlers this fall, and actually manage to catch some trout instead of spending all day standing in the river waving around a rod with no fly on the line 'cause the fish stole it and I couldn't be bothered to put another one on... roflmao... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 6 minutes ago, Mrs.Cicero said: I stole "his" tractor. And he had to buy more guns because I adopted some of his. And now he's buying more tools to make another fly rod... this one for me. So... I'm only worth it if I get the logs, hay and dirt moved with the tractor, whack a rat with antlers this fall, and actually manage to catch some trout instead of spending all day standing in the river waving around a rod with no fly on the line 'cause the fish stole it and I couldn't be bothered to put another one on... roflmao... Sounds to me, like you're got a hard row to hoe to be worth that $8.33, just joking. I'm sure you're worth every cent to him. Just a good sense of humor is immeasurable worth in my opinion. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 2 hours ago, Mrs.Cicero said: My husband says I've cost him a hell of a lot more than that My wife has cost me almost everything I have and she still works out to be the best investment I have ever made. I bet you husband feels the same.......... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmidt Meister Posted June 5, 2022 Author Share Posted June 5, 2022 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Schmidt Meister Posted June 16, 2022 Author Share Posted June 16, 2022 Forgive me ... but that **** is funny ... 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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