Huaco Kid

[Walt Longmire]

18 hours ago, crockett said:

After all those years, I still have no clue who he is and what he does.

He is kinda wondering himself.

[Huaco Kid]

At TAMU dropzone,  had nothing to do with the college,  just a bunch of 'toids sharing a common interest.  At an approved club.

Got really yelled at for pulling -1000'.   Student status.  Choked on it.

Hoo boy.

[Huaco Kid]

I got to exit directly over the Aggie stadium (on a non game day),  in a 50mph blowings,  in a "cross country".

I had five miles back,  I was noob,  the other guys has 10 miles back.

I landed with my tippy-toes exactly next to the runway (which is totally breaking ALL the rules),  while blowing backwards, at 35mph,  and then got dragged across the field,  for a mile.

Best evar.

[Huaco Kid]

At AOT,  the cessna would go all day.  Four jumpers.

Most weekends,  we had ten,  The Twin-Bo.  Maybe a couple times per day.

[Huaco Kid]

Best is....  we practiced a 10-way.  Over.  and over.  And over.   And over.

There is a bar over the door.  Two guys,  grabbing on the bar, upwind.  Two guys grabbing on the bar, downwind.  Three, or four, squids squirting out, directly in front of the bar. Other guys in the door.

But, even though we practiced it ten times,  it went right off.

I'm first out, hanging on the bar,  and the next guy came,  hanging on the bar,  in perfect science-synchronisity, of which we practiced and learned in physics.

And the next guy came out and hunnged on the bar.  At our end.  And the next guy.  And the next guy.

So now there's four guys.

I could have bailed.  Holding on the next guy's harness,  as strictly practiced. And dragged a whole door-full of everyone off.  Ripped a bunch of people right off.

So, because the wing was 1' from my foot,  and everyone was still pushing my hand off the bar,   I stepped onto the wing.

And stood there.

The next guy did too.

I don't know what jump-run  is in a T-Bo.  90?. 80?mph.

And then the whole clusterfuck let go.  So me, n' the guy went.  I remember nothing about the jump.

 

[Huaco Kid]

And then, later,  me and n,guy got really, really, really yelled at for standing on the wing.

That's the wrongest thing you can do,  what pilots say.  We had no apologies.  They aren't accepted.

[Huaco Kid]

I got to stand on the wing of Twin Bonanza airplane.

At 13K'.

[Huaco Kid]

It was a pretty big FUp.

There were monster airplane-blades screaming,  ten foot away.

If we had fell into those blades...............

[Huaco Kid]

BUT YOU CAN'T FALL INTO THE BLADES!

You're being blown,  at 90mph!,  the other direction!

I guess you could.

If you wanted to.

[Huaco Kid]

I saw a guy break his back,  showoff swooping.

He got, mostly, better.  Took years.

One guy wrote a poem about it.

[Huaco Kid]

I was in  a two-way with Bart.

Texas Bart. My in-passing friend.

At,  what's the right time.  Bart pulled.

And Bart pulled.

And again,   and again,  and again.

He got his reserve,   and landed safely.

[Huaco Kid]

I remember making dumb faces at Bart, and pulling.

I remember him going from as big as me,  to a pinhead,  and then microscopic, in, like, .3 seconds.  Seeing  him struggle and grab,  the whole time.

He remembered PULL IN ORIENTATION! PULL ON TIME!  PULL!

And then he had to buy everyone beer.  Every FIRST is a beer owning event.

[Huaco Kid]

I jumped at small College Station.

Ten, twenty,  people on a good day. 

Everyone was best friends with everyone.

[Huaco Kid]

Then I moved to Raleigh.  Carolina Sky Sports.

200 people hanging around.  50 people dropping,  50 people on jump run,  100 people climbing to altitude, 50 people landing.

I didn't know anyone.

It wasn't my style.

A dozen jumps,  and ended my career.

 

[Huaco Kid]

Actually,  what ended my career, was, 

To make a Bridge-Day (New River Gorge) jump,  was a raffle. 

I won a ticket.  Which is a hard-to-do prize.

[Huaco Kid]

My wife yelled into my face,  "WELL!!!  IF YOU WANT TO DIE TWO WEEKS BEFORE YOUR DAUGHTER IS BORN,  #$%%^)&$. WELL THEN JUST GO AHEAD, YOU #$%%^@)%^^^^$%  $%^%^&&* #$%$^6 #^###$$!!!"

So then  I was whipped into conformity.

[Huaco Kid]

So then,   that daughter grew into perfect adulthood,  which took all my paychecks,  and some beer,  which it let me buy.

[Huaco Kid]

I can jump off the bridge whenever I want.  All day long.

But they see you.  And you  have a good chance of getting caught at the bottom.  And then,  I don't know

you pay a ticket.

[Huaco Kid]

I'd frame that ticket, and hang it on my wall.

[Huaco Kid]

My first jump at CSS was in a ten-seater....  That group.  That group.  That guy.  That guy.  Me.

I looked out the door.  I saw the airport. 

Right there.

I jumped.

But then, I don't know,  it took halfway down,  when I was just spinning myself into incoherentness...  which is good.

Noticed all everyone below me  going off,  not right,  which should not even be notable.

And we missed the airport.

It wasn't even the right airport.  It was 20 miles away.

Noob.  I just followed them.

[Huaco Kid]

I followed the guy in front of me.

He's surely an experienced expert. 

All the other parachutes were going on the other side of the highway.

We landed in the middle of a HUGE garden,  and ol' Oma, was right there,  watching us,    said,  "What the fucks wrong with you?"

So we apologized,  many times,  and she just yelled "Shut the gate when you leave!"

[Huaco Kid]

And a van came and got everyone off the highway,  and Paul yelled at us for being jerks and doing it.

And we said, "Why'd your ******* plane put us out, 20 miles away,  at the wrong town???"

 

[Huaco Kid]

And so then,  he bought everyone beer, and then it was jsut a good story.

[Huaco Kid]

It was, like, ten hours ago,  when I started the build.

I can do more.

[Huaco Kid]

So.  I decided that Winter Is Coming.  And I work outside,  at altitude,  and it sucks,  big,  magnificently.

And was thinking stupid,  that I needed a better handwarmers.

I've posted on these.  I'm the expert.