TSA agents catch odd assortment of weaponry at airport checkpoints

[janice6]

Originally, government TSA employment was a means to a job for the unemployable.  The standards haven't changed.

[Huaco Kid]

4 minutes ago, janice6 said:

Originally, government TSA employment was a means to a job for the unemployable.  The standards haven't changed.

They have very much gotten better.

I had many Barney Fife encounters,  for many years.

That seems to have gone,  mostly, away.

They are mostly now, regular people doing their job, per the protocol.

 

[Huaco Kid]

That being said....

A month ago,  at a very small airport,  I told the guy that I usually go through the x-ray, because I can't raise my arm for the scanner.

Young Bubba instantly said, "Well,  how'd you get dressed this morning?"

Whoa.  Stop.

I asked for a supervisor.  He said, "What, really?"

Yes.

She came,  I explained it.  He admitted to my story.

I went through, with a pat-down.

[Huaco Kid]

I went through that same airport a couple weeks ago.  Same request.  The supervisor lady was the same.  The bubba guy wasn't there.

But the New Bubba had biceps that were 4' around.  And had to pat me down.  Which is way more intimidating.

It took seven seconds.

[Duluth]

28 minutes ago, janice6 said:

Originally, government TSA employment was a means to a job for the unemployable.  The standards haven't changed.

I saw on the local news that the TSA was looking for agents. No experience needed. 

[Huaco Kid]

So,  my whole point is:  F the TSA.  And then disband them.

If I had a ninja-star (maybe if I hooked it to a rubber-band, I could instantly kill hundreds),  or a knife, or gun....

You can't have a knife,  or a tiny souvenir baseball bat....    but you can have these knitting-needles that are 1/2" thick and 12" long,  or a skateboard that is 2' long and 1' wide.

If I had a ninja-star,  or knife,  or bomb, or whatever ever thing that they ever confiscated,  what would I do with it?

Why not just stand in the bottle-neck,  created by the TSA checkpoint,  in the Atlanta airport,  with 500 people tightly packed together,  AND NINJA-STAR EVERYONE ALL AT ONCE!!

Why try to get passed the checkpoint,  when I could just blow my bomb right there?

I wouldn't just blow up a plane,  I would shut down ATL,  which would shut down most of America for a month.

Disband the TSA.

[Huaco Kid]

The SPOT guys got an extra 40 hours of intensive psychological training.  On SPOTting me.

And made an extra $37 per week.

They had a secret pin,  under their collar,  that they flashed,  when appropriate.

[Huaco Kid]

I don't know how many ninja-stars I could fit in my backpack.

A thousand.  Three thousand.

That's huge carnage,  at ATL checkpoint.

I've seen the Deadpool movie.

That's where you learned how to kill three people with one star.

[Huaco Kid]

And that guy that can throw a playing-card through a drywall.

52 dead people, in four seconds.

And 300 hundred decks of cards (Vegas! Baby!) in my backpack.

Edited March 8, 2020 by Huaco Kid
(+ two jokers, plus the "how to play poker card")

[Duluth]

I can only imagine the turnover in TSA agents with this virus stuff happening. Truly the bottom of the barrel.

[Huaco Kid]

2 hours ago, janice6 said:

I don't mind at all being screened.  However, I would like it to be by persons I respected and that would respect me.

Long ago, in a New York, far far away,  before I learned...

don't tell them you have hand tools in your bag.  Just say,  "What?, no!  It's manuals and boots."

Or else they'll automatically search it.

So....  the TSA girl said, "Why is all your **** all wrapped and strapped and tie-strapped so tightly?"

And I said, "It's just what I do when I'm going through Jersey and Boston."

And she said,  "My mother's from Jersey,  and my Dad's from Boston."

And then she went through everything.  She dumped out every bag and pouch,  and just left it dumped.  She was flipping through my ten manuals, one page at at a time,  occasionally looking at me to make sure I was still watching.  They learned this at TSA school..

I always have time time.  My motto is "Eat Me."  I stayed to watch her whole jig.

Before it ended,  an airline desk agent tapped me on the shoulder and said,  "I checked you in.  You were here before I left for lunch an hour ago.  You are still here when I came back.  If you want to complain,  I'll tell what I saw."

I said, "No."

And **** that NY girl.

[kerbie18]

When the TSA caught me, sometimes, with a forbidden object...it was fun to say "surprise!".  You win the secret test of the day!.

[GlocknSpiehl]

I flew out of Vegas (Baby!) this week.
After years of getting screamed at to take "ALL ELECTRONICS OUT",  this guy was yelling, "LEAVE ALL ELECTRONICS IN!!!"
While waiting for my stuff to come out of the conveyor,  I noticed the sign that said "tomography-something".  I googled,  it's new.
But......
The reader-guy was struggling with it.  They pulled every bag that came out of it for five minutes,  and re-screened it all, ten times.  Five minutes.  Five minutes. Five minutes. Finally,  the guy hit the red E-Stop button and rebooted the whole thing.  Five minutes.
It took over an hour before I could take my stuff.
Then one guy said, "New technology!  We're just getting used to it!"
Shouldn't they get used to it before they 'go live'?

They bought CT scanners and are using them. In theory you are not being bombarded by XR simply by being next to it while they scan your stuff...

I also have a lovely bridge in Brooklyn to sell you...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[tadbart]

I'm also in the F the TSA camp.

Thousands Standing Around, or Thugs Stealing Anything. 

I fly through MCO Orlando a lot. Never any issues there, other than not enough lines. Most other places want to give me a prostate exam. Last time, in Bozeman, I started moaning loudly while I was getting groped. My mother-in-law bout DIED. I just looked at her and grinned, and squalled louder. My mom was NOT impressed. The missus just got kinda quiet for the ride home, which was nice. But yeah, for some reason, BZN always causes me trouble. I guarantee you my left leg will beep in their dick-pic-maker next time I go through. It ALWAYS does, there. No other airport. Just BZN. F those guys. With a moose.