Pisco Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 This thread should be fun. Should I make mention that she told to prepare for sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 You need to prepare yourself with some appropriate questions so you can determine if she (or he) is Borderline Personality Disordered. Then look up the hot/Crazy Matrix. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dric902 Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 (edited) Been there done that dont tell her where you live, or your real phone number see how it works out first (btw, what exactly does she mean by “prepare” whips and chains, feathers and handcuffs, viagra and lube) . Edited September 13, 2018 by Dric902 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 It's been good knowing you, Pisco. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogieman Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 (edited) Do a bit on manscaping (but not too much) and pack your ho bag with all of the essentials. Run a pre-date batch in the sink so you don't embarrass yourself. Later give her the best 3 1/2 minutes of her life. And when you are done never acknowledge her again. Then hurry back here and give up the details. Edited September 13, 2018 by Boogieman 5 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 33 minutes ago, Pisco said: This thread should be fun. Should I make mention that she told to prepare for sex? You sure she is a she? Just remember when the old sourdough invited the new guy that had just built his wilderness cabin in the bush, over to the party on Saturday. He mentioned there would be drinking, fighting, and SEX. Newcomer says, "Sounds fun. What should I wear?" Sourdough says, "Won't matter. It will just be the 2 of us." 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KWalrad Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 11 minutes ago, Boogieman said: Do a bit on manscaping (but not too much) and pack your ho bag with all of the essentials. Run a pre-date batch in the sink so you don't embarrass yourself. Later give her the best 3 1/2 minutes of her life. And when you are done never acknowledge her again. Then hurry back here and give up the details. 3 1/2 minutes? What, he's doing it twice? Effin' Showoff. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silentpoet Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, Walt Longmire said: You sure she is a she? Just remember when the old sourdough invited the new guy that had just built his wilderness cabin in the bush, over to the party on Saturday. He mentioned there would be drinking, fighting, and SEX. Newcomer says, "Sounds fun. What should I wear?" Sourdough says, "Won't matter. It will just be the 2 of us." Well here is "her" dating profile picture: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, KWalrad said: 3 1/2 minutes? What, he's doing it twice? Effin' Showoff. Go for the rodeo sex. After you mount up you tell her she ain't half as good as her mom, and then try to hang on for 8 seconds. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KWalrad Posted September 13, 2018 Share Posted September 13, 2018 7 minutes ago, Walt Longmire said: Go for the rodeo sex. After you mount up you tell her she ain't half as good as her mom, and then try to hang on for 8 seconds. Brother, you just summed up my first marriage. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Better search her purse for a strap on before you get all cuddly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KWalrad Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Pisco, she say anything about you being there for the sex part? or her, for that matter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogieman Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 31 minutes ago, Walt Longmire said: Better search her purse for a strap on before you get all cuddly. I my younger and more foolish days I glanced into my date's open purse and saw a pharmacy's worth of prescriptions and a YUGE kitchen knife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walt Longmire Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 7 minutes ago, Boogieman said: I my younger and more foolish days I glanced into my date's open purse and saw a pharmacy's worth of prescriptions and a YUGE kitchen knife. Roofies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogieman Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 3 minutes ago, Walt Longmire said: Roofies? Not necessary. She and I are going at it like rabid pitbull's on meth. She is a savage jungle beast. Biting... Clawing... Howling... I am rocking her world. I am the King. I am a Rockstar. She is ruined for all that come after. And the filth coming out of her mouth? Even shocking to me. Thing you don't even hear in underground gonzo porn. Turns out she had Tourettes. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KWalrad Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 1 hour ago, Boogieman said: Not necessary. She and I are going at it like rabid pitbull's on meth. She is a savage jungle beast. Biting... Clawing... Howling... I am rocking her world. I am the King. I am a Rockstar. She is ruined for all that come after. And the filth coming out of her mouth? Even shocking to me. Thing you don't even hear in underground gonzo porn. Turns out she had Tourettes. Yeah... That reminds me.... the family reunion is coming up. Tell Sis that she hasn't sent in her RSVP yet. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tadbart Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 So I gotta ask- How long before the act do you intend to do a bowel cleanse? didja wax your starfish? Have you discussed a safeword? may I suggest "Pineapplejuice?" 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogieman Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 7 minutes ago, tadbart said: Have you discussed a safeword? may I suggest "Pineapplejuice?" My safe word is "Ernest Borgnine". Shout that out and all f@cking stops. Trust me on this. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crockett Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Check her trunk. That thing ain't gonna fit in her purse! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Beararms Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 4 hours ago, Boogieman said: Do a bit on manscaping (but not too much) and pack your ho bag with all of the essentials. Run a pre-date batch in the sink so you don't embarrass yourself. Later give her the best 3 1/2 minutes of her life. And when you are done never acknowledge her again. Then hurry back here and give up the details. A man with experience fo sho. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cougar_ml Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogieman Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Be careful. If you can't be careful name it after me. And always bring protection. I'd suggest a 9mm. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boogieman Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 3 minutes ago, Cougar_ml said: In my experience...HELL YEAH 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBO Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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