pipedreams Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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pipedreams Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 Refried Squirrelkin? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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pipedreams Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Lady: No, I didn’t stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years! Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him, “Take me, young man. Take me now!” Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fools!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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ChuteTheMall Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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pipedreams Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 Lawyer A lawyer arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a "stay of execution" for a client who was due to be hanged for Murder at midnight .. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed .. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about "What time of night to be getting home is this ?? , Where have you been ??, Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it .." And on and on and on .. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs .. While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, HAD been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally, realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet .. ''They're Not hanging Wright tonight " she said .. To which he whirled around and screamed, '' FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP .. ? " 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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