The Thing That Sucks About Not Being Able to Do What You Used to Do

[refugeepj]

32 minutes ago, janice6 said:

I would talk with my kids at any age about any thing, but I'd try to do it so neither one of us is embarrassed.  Anything.  My second daughter later on told me a story about her Boundary Waters Canoe Trip with her husband and just how horrible it was since it rained every single day and was cold.  Then she tole me how she insisted he take her from that horrible trip to at fancy hotel for the week end to compensate.  Then she told me how he had to cover her face with a pillow 'cause she was a screamer'.  I didn't know that!

keeping the lines of communication open is always important. there are some things dads don't need to know!!

 

[C_Hallbert]

whoever said your are only as old as you feel is full of **** . 
im 50 feel 80 .  cancer countless surgeries    8 prescripts daily,   ive put in a hard life , bones feel it .i remember as teenagers  we would climb 
the bricks that stuck out in the pattern all the way to top of gym ,  sit around drink some beer , reflect ,  talking bout doing this forever .  
 
then people got older , found girls , had kids  , some died    and now i have to use the ladder to go up lol .  hardly see each other anymore
for all kinds of reasons , 2 of my buds are married and henpecked  so bad they got to ask to leave the house . remember bud of mine 
had a cobra 2  farrah fawcett  mustang. pos , we talked out crusing the world .  eventually it all goes to **** for everyone . even betty white is gonna croak sooner 
or later.

‘You are only as old as you look...’


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[janice6]

I can say anything to cute little girls and they chuckle and pat my arm...……..

[Dric902]

10 hours ago, janice6 said:

I can say anything to cute little girls and they chuckle and pat my arm...……..

I remember the first time I was checking out a cashier and she calls me......sir

 

.

[janice6]

9 minutes ago, Dric902 said:

I remember the first time I was checking out a cashier and she calls me......sir

 

.

One time I was in the chair waiting for the Dentist.  A very (very) good looking assistant was standing with me chatting while waiting.  She made some comment about replacing a tooth I lost and I told her, "I'm old. The only advantage to my doing that, would be that when I passed, the people viewing me would say,' Boy he's old!  But don't his teeth look nice!".

Now that I broke the ice about "old", and age.  She got very sad and softly said, "I know.  I'm 44 years old!".  I felt bad that she thought she was old and losing her "attraction".  Afterwards, as she walked me out of the work area, she was behind me so I couldn't see her.  But I felt I had to say something to cheer her up.  I couldn't leave her feeling as she did about herself.

So I said.  "You will probably report me to everyone and hate me for the sexist I am, but!  Just keep telling yourself that 22 goes into 44 a hell of a lot more times than 44 goes into 22!".  I waited for the tirade I probably started, and it was quiet just for a moment.  Then she let out a big belly laugh, and slapped me on the back and said "Oh, you!".

I have been back since and she is the nicest person to me and we seem to be the best of friends, now instead of enemies.  She seems quite cheerful.  I hope she believed me.  In my eyes, she was a real keeper!

[Moshe]

On 6/30/2019 at 5:31 PM, refugeepj said:

keeping the lines of communication open is always important. there are some things dads don't need to know!!

 

True.  But, I like to know what is going on.

[refugeepj]

59 minutes ago, Moshe said:

True.  But, I like to know what is going on.

absolutely!

more so when they are teenagers.

they think they are bulletproof and bad things only happen to other people.

[Moshe]

Just now, refugeepj said:

absolutely!

more so when they are teenagers.

they think they are bulletproof and bad things only happen to other people.

All males think that.  I explained that to my son.  I explained I was a Senior in HS when the First Gulf war broke out, and by the time I graduated it was over.  Feeling left out, I called the National Guard recruiter and explained to him my Sabbath issues, and I was willing to put more time in to make up for it.  The Recruiter told me that was a non-starter.  So, off to University I went.  Still thinking I was bullet proof.  I joined the USBP in 1998, and everything except academics were run by USBP instructors that used to be Marine DI's.  I lived in the barracks for 6.5 months next to a former marine.  We had daily uniform and formation inspection before the sun rose.  The only inspection we didn't have was barracks.  They actually had a maid service for that.  Beyond that it may as well been boot camp.  They break you to make you, hell week and all.  That is where you learn what you are made of and what your limitations are.  I explained that to my son who is coming up on 16 and is JROTC gung ho, and is into martial arts.  I explained to him my story, to let him know he is not 10 foot tall and bullet proof like he thinks he is now.  My fear with him, is you need to keep your head in a swivel and he sometimes stares out into space on a job, or at school.  I don't want that flag.  

These are things a father and son should talk about.  We talk about sex, the consequences, the morality.  He asks me a lot of scripture questions that I can answer, that my father never could.  Things get weird when you get into the writings of Paul.  But, I understand the culture and what he is trying to say, and help my son muddle through it.  

Sometimes my wife will bug me as to what I am thinking.  I told her exactly what I did when I was on the line:  If this, then that.  She seemed confused by that.  Why do you do that?  I replied, if you think something through, it is mental training.  But, I have always been a hit first, ask questions later guy.  It is just the way I am made.  When people at work got bored and liked to play the surprise game, they stopped doing that to me  within striking distance.  One guy I knew, worried me, his startle response was to freeze up like a mini-seizure.  That could mean the difference between life and death.   

So, as a father,  IMHO, you have an obligation to discuss with your son about the reality of what he is, rather than what he thinks he is.  The sex talk.  The morality talk, and being there for scriptural questions.  I have an innate understanding of the scriptures, and I have read them through.  My Jewish bible gives me an  even deeper perspective.  So, when he has a scriptural question, or even when my wife does, the hard questions aren't hard for me.  I am not trying to brag, I am just stating a fact. 

[refugeepj]

6 minutes ago, Moshe said:

All males think that.  I explained that to my son.  I explained I was a Senior in HS when the First Gulf war broke out, and by the time I graduated it was over.  Feeling left out, I called the National Guard recruiter and explained to him my Sabbath issues, and I was willing to put more time in to make up for it.  The Recruiter told me that was a non-starter.  So, off to University I went.  Still thinking I was bullet proof.  I joined the USBP in 1998, and everything except academics were run by USBP instructors that used to be Marine DI's.  I lived in the barracks for 6.5 months next to a former marine.  We had daily uniform and formation inspection before the sun rose.  The only inspection we didn't have was barracks.  They actually had a maid service for that.  Beyond that it may as well been boot camp.  They break you to make you, hell week and all.  That is where you learn what you are made of and what your limitations are.  I explained that to my son who is coming up on 16 and is JROTC gung ho, and is into martial arts.  I explained to him my story, to let him know he is not 10 foot tall and bullet proof like he thinks he is now.  My fear with him, is you need to keep your head in a swivel and he sometimes stares out into space on a job, or at school.  I don't want that flag.  

These are things a father and son should talk about.  We talk about sex, the consequences, the morality.  He asks me a lot of scripture questions that I can answer, that my father never could.  Things get weird when you get into the writings of Paul.  But, I understand the culture and what he is trying to say, and help my son muddle through it.  

Sometimes my wife will bug me as to what I am thinking.  I told her exactly what I did when I was on the line:  If this, then that.  She seemed confused by that.  Why do you do that?  I replied, if you think something through, it is mental training.  But, I have always been a hit first, ask questions later guy.  It is just the way I am made.  When people at work got bored and liked to play the surprise game, they stopped doing that to me  within striking distance.  One guy I knew, worried me, his startle response was to freeze up like a mini-seizure.  That could mean the difference between life and death.   

So, as a father,  IMHO, you have an obligation to discuss with your son about the reality of what he is, rather than what he thinks he is.  The sex talk.  The morality talk, and being there for scriptural questions.  I have an innate understanding of the scriptures, and I have read them through.  My Jewish bible gives me an  even deeper perspective.  So, when he has a scriptural question, or even when my wife does, the hard questions aren't hard for me.  I am not trying to brag, I am just stating a fact. 

I have granddaughters that think they are always "safe" too. not just the boys. I guess that must be due to the good home life, God Bless America!!

 

[Moshe]

I have a daughter.  That is her mother's department.  But, in firearms, I try to treat her as an equal, if she has a question I do my best to answer it.

[KWalrad]

2 hours ago, Moshe said:

 as a father,  IMHO, you have an obligation to discuss with your son about the reality of what he is, rather than what he thinks he is.  The sex talk.  The morality talk, and being there for scriptural questions. 

I bust your chops and give you a hard time about a lot of things, but on this one, I've got to give you a Gold Star and a chit for a free beer if I ever meet you in person.

Spot on, and well said, Amigo!

[railfancwb]

All males think that.  I explained that to my son.  I explained I was a Senior in HS when the First Gulf war broke out, and by the time I graduated it was over.  Feeling left out, I called the National Guard recruiter and explained to him my Sabbath issues, and I was willing to put more time in to make up for it.  The Recruiter told me that was a non-starter.  So, off to University I went.  Still thinking I was bullet proof.  I joined the USBP in 1998, and everything except academics were run by USBP instructors that used to be Marine DI's.  I lived in the barracks for 6.5 months next to a former marine.  We had daily uniform and formation inspection before the sun rose.  The only inspection we didn't have was barracks.  They actually had a maid service for that.  Beyond that it may as well been boot camp.  They break you to make you, hell week and all.  That is where you learn what you are made of and what your limitations are.  I explained that to my son who is coming up on 16 and is JROTC gung ho, and is into martial arts.  I explained to him my story, to let him know he is not 10 foot tall and bullet proof like he thinks he is now.  My fear with him, is you need to keep your head in a swivel and he sometimes stares out into space on a job, or at school.  I don't want that flag.  
These are things a father and son should talk about.  We talk about sex, the consequences, the morality.  He asks me a lot of scripture questions that I can answer, that my father never could.  Things get weird when you get into the writings of Paul.  But, I understand the culture and what he is trying to say, and help my son muddle through it.  
Sometimes my wife will bug me as to what I am thinking.  I told her exactly what I did when I was on the line:  If this, then that.  She seemed confused by that.  Why do you do that?  I replied, if you think something through, it is mental training.  But, I have always been a hit first, ask questions later guy.  It is just the way I am made.  When people at work got bored and liked to play the surprise game, they stopped doing that to me  within striking distance.  One guy I knew, worried me, his startle response was to freeze up like a mini-seizure.  That could mean the difference between life and death.   
So, as a father,  IMHO, you have an obligation to discuss with your son about the reality of what he is, rather than what he thinks he is.  The sex talk.  The morality talk, and being there for scriptural questions.  I have an innate understanding of the scriptures, and I have read them through.  My Jewish bible gives me an  even deeper perspective.  So, when he has a scriptural question, or even when my wife does, the hard questions aren't hard for me.  I am not trying to brag, I am just stating a fact. 

You refer to the writings of Paul. You mention your Jewish Bible. Please clarify, as I was not aware that Jewish religious literature encompassed Christian texts.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Dric902]

41 minutes ago, railfancwb said:

You refer to the writings of Paul. You mention your Jewish Bible. Please clarify, as I was not aware that Jewish religious literature encompassed Christian texts.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Messianic Jew

[railfancwb]

Messianic Jew

Thanks


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[railfancwb]

Need to get on my roof and do a bit of work. Mostly one to 1-1/2 story above ground - single story house on crawl space.

Twenty years ago - probably even ten - I would have leaned a ladder against the edge, wiggled it to assure steady footing, and been up there. Soon enough I would have finished and been back down.

Today, I want everything tied down - literally if possible. Even then I am nervous about the task. I’m much less stable than once. And much less sure footed.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[janice6]

2 hours ago, railfancwb said:

Need to get on my roof and do a bit of work. Mostly one to 1-1/2 story above ground - single story house on crawl space.

Twenty years ago - probably even ten - I would have leaned a ladder against the edge, wiggled it to assure steady footing, and been up there. Soon enough I would have finished and been back down.

Today, I want everything tied down - literally if possible. Even then I am nervous about the task. I’m much less stable than once. And much less sure footed.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The most difficult part of the task is  for us to remember this.

[TXUSMC]

I miss running. Was a semi-serious runner (ok, jogger) for 25 years. Ran/completed one marathon (Marine Corps marathon 1980), several half marathons, and lots of shorter races. Never won anything, just completed against my last best time. Running was part of my regular fitness routine. Then, in my 50s, my knees began to hurt, and I replaced running with walking and hiking. I miss running, though... but my knees don't.

[Wyzz Kydd]

When I was a young man, I could jump.  Standing 6 feet tall I could jump and touch the rim of a regulation basketball goal.  I was a beast in the low post, particularly for someone who is vertically challenged.  Now at 56, I can't get that kind of vertical anymore, not even close.  It takes a running start just to touch the net.  I miss full court basketball games playing forward, it was a blast.  I could do a decent job now, for maybe 10 minutes or so. I can even beat my teenage son and my nephew who is in his early twenties, but I'm a short Shaq now, I just muscle over them.  Running and gunning hurts too much the next day and I don't have the wind for it.

[UnifiedFieldTheory]

On 6/30/2019 at 5:10 PM, janice6 said:

When my kids got to the end of High School and were threatened with graduation, One daughter came to me and proclaimed that she was getting married!  I was so disappointed for her and I told her so.  She said, "I'm getting married" why wouldn't you be happy for me.  I said because I am married and here is my view on the timing for marriage

I said that I had told her brother and her sisters that when they got out of school, to find a job that would give them disposable income.  Then get a place of your own that you could call home.  Now party.  Go have fun. find people to do things with to celebrate life and simply enjoy it.  Find a partner that you believed could love you and make you feel you had someone to hold you and who really cared for you when everything, or any single thing, made you feel that your world was crashing down on you and you felt all alone and isolated in your grief.

When you find that person, it may not be your life mate, but it is good enough to let you believe you now know what "love" means.  When you get partied out, When you begin to feel that your not getting the depth of companionship you think you need from your friends and partner, you are now ready to decide on a person to share your life with and enter into marriage.

What's going to happen to you when you get married right out of school, is that very quickly you will look around you and feel life has passed you by.  You will not have lived the part of your life that was just for the fun of it.  While all your other friends will tell you how great it is to be single.

18 months later she was divorced for the very reasons I had told her.  She is now approaching 60 with a husband that worships her, and she finally says she can look back and not regret that she didn't "live life" before she got married, albeit it took two tries.

I told my girls the same thing I told my son. Go party have fun if you want, to use protection and sow some wild oats.  But remember, you will never be able to go back and do this after you are married.  Marriage is a totally different life and you will be expected to now be responsible for you actions.  It will be a wonderful life, but you are now expected to act as an adult.

I dunno, man, I met my husband when I was in 11th grade.  Still kicking along here, more than three decades later.  I've had my fill of life experiences and then some.  There are exceptions to every "rule".

[janice6]

9 hours ago, UnifiedFieldTheory said:

I dunno, man, I met my husband when I was in 11th grade.  Still kicking along here, more than three decades later.  I've had my fill of life experiences and then some.  There are exceptions to every "rule".

You are preaching to the choir.  I have been married for 61 years.  I met my wife to be when I was around 15 or 16 years old.

What I told my children is what I think would be best for someone that  hasn't determined what their goals are in life or their ambitions for a vocation.  People tend not to make lifelong commitments before they find out what they are themselves.

I made a conscious decision to be an engineer in research when I was in third grade.  I can still remember the day I determined what my future would be. I knew then that this was the only end I would accept.  I had no indecisions in my life.  I fulfilled my goal.

I don't believe that young people in general know themselves that well.  Some do, but many don't.

The advice I gave them was for young people in general and I still believe in what I told them.  Now some of my children are looking into retirement and we have a personal family bond that's as close as when they were children.  They thank me for advice I gave them at the beginning of their adult lives and tell me they agree with me.

I couldn't get any better affirmation that I have helped them rather than hurt them.

Edited July 28, 2019 by janice6