Random Posting

[Huaco Kid]

 

[Huaco Kid]

Bob once popped a wheelie, with his Triumph chopper, that was 3' high and 9' long,  so his front tire touched the window at the calculus class, where I was faking it.

He was born in the USA.

And that teacher hated me mostly later.

[Huaco Kid]

Somebody find Bob (Robert?) Dotzler for me.

He was out of the Army,  on his GI Bill,  in the middle 80's.

We did a lot of biker **** together.

He disappeared two weeks before graduation.

I suspect he's in the Brazos River.

[Huaco Kid]

Bob was Bob.  Right out of the Army.  Toughest bitch you ever met.

I had a Harley.

He wanted a bike, soooooooooooooooooooooo  bad.

He had a Red-White-And-Blue(?) Mustang Mach1 (?), ????

And traded to some guy for this shitty Triumph that was 3' tall and 9' long.

Bob was in Heaven!

He loved this bike.

[Huaco Kid]

Like, two weeks later,  we had just pissed off the Geometry teacher, so whatever, we were at Bill&Bobs hamburgers,  right off campus.

And we came out,  and there were twenty little kids in  the parking lot aand they all said, "HEY MISTER!!! THAT'S THE COOLEST MOTORCYCLE WE'VE EVER SEEN!!!"

And Bob gave them all high-5's,  because we were sooo cool!

And he kicked his bike once,  twice, thrice,  and it fired up!!!!!!..............

And broke in half.  Right in the middle of the frame.  It was brand new to him.  Just traded his Mustang for it.

So it sat there.

The motor going, Chug-Chug-Chug,  with 5' of back with motor, by itself,  and 5' of gas tank and forks.  Just sitting in the parking lot.

Bob just walked away and went home.  I tried to yell at him.  He just left.  I went home.

It wasn't there on Monday.  He got it back.

Bob loved and hated that bike.

[Huaco Kid]

Like, a couple weeks later,  Bob was just new to me.  He was a crazy Army guy.

The guy that got his Mustang ran it into a guardrail,  twisted it all up, and came back, and wanted his bike back.

I think that's the first time I saw Bob shoot somebody.

[Huaco Kid]

Bob had kids.  And something drugs.  And someone owed him money.  So he went to collect.

And Bob could be very professional and courteous.   Which he said he did.

And the guy bitched him.

Bob didn't hurt anyone.

But he shot the guy's TV.

He said he shot Barney Rubble.  And the picture immediately went out.  But Barney kept talking for another minute.

.....................

[Huaco Kid]

Now,  only Bob could do this.

And he really did.

Walked down the block to the Lacy Lakeview Police Department, walked in, put his S&W .38 on the counter,  and told them the whole story.

His kids were hungry and the guy owed him money.

Bob could talk,  nicest, serious guy, you ever met,  all day.

Then the front-desk phone rang about some crazy guy that shot someone's tv!

Bob won this round.

[Huaco Kid]

Once, at the intersection, a friendly motorcycle guy crashed my motorcycle, and the other bikers were going, "Wha?", and then Bob crashed into us,  for that's what he did,  and somebody declared cutting class and we all went 100mph to Bob's house.

We had never been under surveillance,  didn't know that part,  but we were twisted!

So ten police cars skidded, all sideways,  into the yard right into us.  Like, hit us into the wall.

The first thing that Beauford Pusser wanted to see,  it what I had in the leather briefcase, bungied on the the back of my bike.

It was my Dad's briefcase from when he was, like, 20 years old.  It was pretty beat-up, just like a biker drug-guy would do.

We were in a college town!

I had a geometry book,  a calculator, and drafting equipment.

And then they fussed for a while and left.

So we did meth and big dope all day,  pdq.

And then lied to the teachers about being jacked-up, so we had to miss class.

[Huaco Kid]

I still have Dad's briefcase.

[Huaco Kid]

I didn't know Bob on the first day of class.

On the third day, or so,  I think he was a Sargent, some girl was sitting in his seat.

Bob could be very polite.  Usually always.

He told the girl, "Excuse me,  they take roll on our seats, and you're in mine."

The girl cussed him.  On the third day of class.

Bob said, politely, "EXCUSE ME! WHY DON'T YOU WRITE THAT **** DOWN ON A BROWN PAPER PAPER BAG AND MAIL IT TO SOMEONE WHO GIVES A ****?!?!"

And that girl never came back.

[Huaco Kid]

That's when I first liked Bob.

[Huaco Kid]

I once lent Bob my car.  A crashed-up Chevy Malibu.   In crashed-primo condition.

When he brought it back,  both the drivers-side and the passenger-side windows were blown out.

I said, "Bob, what happened to my windows?!?"

He said, "I don't know."

[Huaco Kid]

I worked at a salvage yard,  so I could replace them both by 6am Monday morning.

"What's with my windows, Bob?"

"I just slammed the door and they blew out."

"And blew all the glass inside?"

"Yeah."

[Huaco Kid]

Sometimes Bob would just how up with his kids.

"We're hungry."

"You know where the kitchen is."

[Huaco Kid]

I aint even talked about his wife,  the mother of his children.

It's many more stories.

[Huaco Kid]

Bob was dicking with Waco bikers.

And now they know my car.

[Huaco Kid]

Robert.

A roommate.   He wasn't a biker.

His Dad owned a mechanic shop and was a race-car guy in Dalhart, TX.

His Dad was a VW wizard,  that raced bugs on the dragstrips.  and kicked ass.

[Huaco Kid]

Robert could tweak a bug to win on Valley Mills, every weekend.

No one expects to lose to a bug.

[Huaco Kid]

And Robert made bathtub crank.

[Huaco Kid]

After college,  he gave us our first car, for free.  A Datsun B210 hatchback. ('67?)

We could pull the motor out,  two guys put it on the kitchen table,  rebuild it every weekend (his dad would send us parts).  And we would always do that,  for some reason.

[Huaco Kid]

My wife, and I commuted in that car for ten years.  A tank.

[Huaco Kid]

We once were going to the circus in Houston, in the Datsun,   and I don't know why there was train-tracks,  but we hit, like,  a fifty-in-a-row tracks.

And the dash billowed smoked,  and the car died.

So we took the FM converter, out of the glovebox,  which was the most lucrative part of the car ($12) , and went to the circus, three miles away,  and just left the car on the tracks.

And when we were going back,  I don[t know why,  I guess we couldn't afford a taxi,  so we were going to walk 30 miles home,  we twisted the key and it started.  So we probably drove it another five years.

It was a tank.

[Huaco Kid]

We gave the Datsun to our chumpy friends,  Passed it on.

I told them that the radiator leaked, and ran empty,  forever.  Just run it dry forever.

But no.

Billy "Borrows" dumped that silver stuff in the radiator immediately,   and the motor chugged, and it never started again.  Died right in front of us.

[Huaco Kid]

Robert's crank paid for most of our college.

Once a month,  I was the 'snort test'

They all did needles.  I, and others, didn't.

So they'd shoot his latest creation,  and go woo.  Or whatever they did.

And I'd snort it,  as a test dummy,  and they'd go, "Is it good?!!!!!!!"

"No.  It's like Clorox.  I'm not high,  and it's killing me.  It burns like ****."

And they'd go, "Nice!"