Silentpoet's Music Emporium

[Huaco Kid]

 

[Huaco Kid]

 

[Huaco Kid]

I read a thing,  where's that's his most beloved special-baby song.

And he hate's anyone playing it,  because they all wreck it.  He hates it.

He said he give them lessons,  if they only asked.  But they don't.

But he said it's OK,  because he only gets it right, himself, live,    50% of the time.

[Huaco Kid]

 

[Huaco Kid]

 

[Huaco Kid]

He picks with his first finger and thumb.  His repertoire.  You can't play like that.

Eddie and Slash tried to tell him...  but he just flicked cigarette butts at them.

[Huaco Kid]

Your life is trite and jaded
Boring and confiscated
If that's your best, your best won't do

[Huaco Kid]

 

[Huaco Kid]

 

[Huaco Kid]

His hair, and lapels, are bigger in this one.

Why would you **** with this recipe?

[Huaco Kid]

With The Planet Of The Apes on your side??

[TBO]

Sent from my Jackboot using Copatalk

[Huaco Kid]

Now, disclosure, probably from this movies alone,  I had pet rats.

[Huaco Kid]

I had all manner of critters...

Never a black one,  mine were hooded rats.

I had a paper route, the Post Gazette, the morning news.  At 4am.  Welcome to my miserable existence.

I carried my rats in my shoulder-bag, on my bicycle,   back when we did that,  they never bit Michael,  or no one.  They would ride on my shoulder.

And "cheep-cheep".  They rarely did that.

All the little kids in the neighborhood liked to come around,  because there were rats running around in the front yard.

 

[Huaco Kid]

When you'd clean their cage (it was 4X12) you'd find (i let them run amuck) all kinds of shiny stuff,  coins, rings, earrings.

But sometimes,  they'd take stuff from the top of your dresser,  but they'd put something back.

They stole a quarter,  but they'd put Mom's ring in the same place.

And then they'd just hang around,  knowing where your jugular is,  while you're sleeping.  Waiting to bite your neck off.  And leave a ring there.

::Squeek::

[Huaco Kid]

And the iguana nverer did shiny ****.

He'd just bit you in the neck because you deserved it.

[Huaco Kid]

You never "let the iguana out".  But he'd get out.

There was no putting the iguana back.  That took weeks.  He had to "want" to go back.

And if you you thought Dad could beat you, for no reason at all, from 7years to 12,  then try it with a 6' lizard loose in the house.

"Why is the lizard in the basement?"

"I don't know.  Keep the door shut."

"Why is the lizard on top of the China-cabinet in the living room?"

"Because you didn't shut the basement door?"

::Dad-slap in-the-head::

"If I find him upstairs,  I'll kill him"

"You'll lose"

::Dad-slap in-the-head::

Edited January 5, 2021 by Huaco Kid

[Huaco Kid]

I never had rats an iguanas at the same time.

The iguana would have, leisurely, hunted and chomped eaten, them completely.

The rats didn't have enough brains to anticipate it.

Jurassic Park.

The iguana never made a "movie" sound.

But he'd blow snot right out his nose, .2 seconds before he bit you. 

Too late to pull back...

You're bit.

He once bit Mom's finger to the bone.  We saw the white part.  And then the ****** ran up into the curtains, or somewhere.

Dad never caught him,  because he would have turned him  into a bullwhip.

 

[Huaco Kid]

I know how to "hypnotize" and pick up a 6' lizard.

Sitting on top of the curtains in your bedroom.  That's where where you find godzilla.

You don't know where he is, but, then, there he is.

Good thing he's in your curtains.

If he's, not THEN HOLY ******* HELL  he's in your sister's curtains...

and **** blows off at 11pm!   Sisters hate this. Don't have a lizard there.

Don't have a lizard in your parent's room,  because all manner of **** gets smashed all in in flurry.  You can all smash everything,  but the lizard always gets away. 

And up into the attic, or into his liquor cabinet , Whereever he goes.

[Huaco Kid]

If Dad ever opened the liquor cabinet,  and a dinosaur hissed and chomppred him, he'd brick him with a gallon of gin.

How To Train Your Dragon

::Smash::

::Smash::::Brutal Smash::

"Why is your lizard in booze?"

::HISS::   ::HISS::  :::BITE::  ::BITE::

::Smash everthing::

"Nice play, Dad."

::Dad-hit pretty-hard-in-the-head::

[Huaco Kid]

It only took me ten years, but I've got this 'Steve Irwin' thing.....

I can pick up a 6' lizard.

It take a 1/2 hour.

[Huaco Kid]

I wave / hypnotize my hand in his eyes, him, just like in the Dundee movie.

You're gonna get bit a couple times, because that part's ambiguous. It's a big pissy green dinosaur on the curtains in the living room.  He's gonna bite someone.

But it looks really cool in the process!

 bet I could do it to an alligator.

So, you wave your hand in front of him, for a long time, and then he's sleepy hypnotized.  And you gently touch him.

And he violently bites your hand into the bone.  Which is ok.

So you do it again.  Bit.  Again.  Bit...

And then you can pet him.  With his eyes closed.  He likes it.

Touch him with your other hand,  pissed off violent bite, again, bit, again.

Then he's asleep, and you can pet him all the way down, over, and over.!!

!!

And then it's a big deal.

You might want gloves.

YOU GRAB THE ****** IN THE MIDDLE,  AND AT THE TOP OF THE TAIL!!

NOW YOU'VE GOT 6' OF GREEN MUSCLE ALL EXPLODING OFF IN YOUR HANDS!

He can bite.

His dinosaur-claws rip wrist-veins out,  whilst you are getting 3' of tail, mostly wrapped around your face and neck.

AND THROW HIM SOMEWHERE!

You should probably know where you're going to throw him,  before you even start this maneuver.

There's my room,  or Mom and Dad's room room down the hall.  Godzilla's bouncing off somewhere,  and flying away;

 

 

[Huaco Kid]

Dad:  "Why did you throw the lizard into my room."

Me: "I don't know"

::Dad-Slap into-the-head::

[ChuteTheMall]

 

[ChuteTheMall]