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Mrs Glockrunner

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A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. A passerby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him.

He began an Epic struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had struggled so much.

He said, a bit sheepishly, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of this huge, flashing sign. Turns out somebody was standing in front of the 'S' on the 'Shell' sign."


A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck.

As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.


Farmer Joe is driving to town in his pickup truck and he gets pulled over by a state trooper.

The state trooper walks up to the door and says “Sir you have a brake light out and I am going to write you a ticket, license registration and insurance please”. While the Trooper is writing out farmer Joe’s ticket a large fly starts buzzing around his head in a circle. Distracted and annoyed he starts swatting at the fly with his ticket book. “I see you got yourself a circle fly” farmer Joe says to the trooper. The trooper gives him a curious look “A circle fly”? he asks farmer Joe. Yes, farmer Joe replies “I have them at my farm they always fly in a circle around my horses’ ass”. The state trooper gives farmer Joe a stern look and says “sir are you insinuating I am a horse's ass”?

“Never officer” replied farmer Joe, “but you can’t fool them circle flies”


Do you know why cowboy's hats turn up on the sides?

So they can fit three in the cab of a pickup truck.


Are you sweating while putting fuel in your car? Feeling sick when paying?

You have got the carownervirus.

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