Rambling

[Mrs Glockrunner]

Tip: Save business cards of the people you don’t like. If you ever hit a parked car by mistake, write ‘Sorry’ on the 

back of the card and place it on the windshield. 

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I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she is giving me lately.

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Every day I say to myself, “John, you have to stop drinking so much wine.” Thank goodness I’m not John.

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God didn’t create anything without a purpose. But, mosquitoes and blackflies come close.

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I made a huge ‘to do’ list today. I just can’t figure out who is going to do it.

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Some call it multi-tasking. I call it doing something while trying to remember what I was doing in the first place.

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People who ask me what I am doing tomorrow probably assume I even know what day of the week it is.

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My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

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Some people seem to have aged like fine wine. I aged like milk ... I got sour and chunky. 

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Never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is best.

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Ace: I got a package today with bullets and a note in Arabic.

Vi: Dummy. These are suppositories and a note from your doctor.

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 Ada: Can you stop yawning while I’m talking to you.

Bill: I’m not  yawning, I’m trying to say something.

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Robert: My life has not been the same since my accident.

Brent: What accident?

Robert: The one where I got my finger stuck in this wedding ring.

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Maggie: How much do you spend on a bottle of wine?

Doug: I would guess about half an hour.

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My grandfather was responsible for 25 downed German planes in World War 2.

Still to this day he is known as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.