Interesting and funny Facts

[Huaco Kid]

127 lbs.

And, still, bad to the bone.

[Huaco Kid]

There's a .357 in the safe.

It'd take me a long time to get it out.

[Huaco Kid]

And, after I got to the driveway (pookie first),  the front wheel of my bike had 2" of play in it.

It started around Tennessee?.  In the middle of the night.

At 120,  it was straight as a rocket.

When you pulled onto the off-ramp,  it went into an uncontrollable crash.  All through town,  like a drunken sailor.

When you got onto the on-ramp,  it was an uncontrollable crash.

So I just went 120.

[Huaco Kid]

When I got to the driveway,  2" of wheel wiggle.

The next morning, I made phone calls,  had to use yellow-pages back then,  found some bearings,  which I couldn't afford,  because I only had maybe drugs, and $14.  That was supposed to last the rest of my life.

When I went out,  the wheel was as tight as a cat on a banjo.

After another 7 years,  never did replace them.

[Huaco Kid]

Still have it. 

4" stainless.  Very early 70's.

I can shoot as well as the next guy.  But I was always a very skinny fck.

I could hit **** with this gun.

My galoot friends would just say,  "Give me the stupid thing!"

blam-blam-blam-blam-blam-blam!

Shoot six bottles off the fence-posts.

And they'd say,  "There's nothing wrong with this gun!  You're  just a ******* *****."

I never said there was anything wrong with the gun.  But I can't shoot it.  Too big for my hands.

[Huaco Kid]

I once loaned it to "biker" Bob.

He brought it back after a week.

End of story.

[Huaco Kid]

I once loaned him my Chevelle.

He brought it back with the drivers-side and passenger windows busted out.

"What's with my ******* car, Bob?!?"

"I just slammed the door and they busted out!"

That's as far as that went.

He got new windows.

[Huaco Kid]

At the house I was staying,  the big brothers (twins) would say,  "Let us ride your bike".

::keychuck::

(they let me use their cars, whenever I wanted.)

Years later,  they said, "You should have never been riding that bike,  after what we did on it.  We're surprised you're not in prison."

[Huaco Kid]

These guys (twins) were the REAL playas.

They looked like Archie Bunker, but their parties would last a month.

[Huaco Kid]

There were six brothers.  The (twins) were in the middle.

Even when we were little,  their family disputes involved kitchen knives.  Not for show.  But, really,  stabbage could happen.

It's how they rolled.

[Huaco Kid]

Annd we were watching The Price Is Right,  or springer, or what.

And the twins (they were in high school) rolled an empty 55gal plastic barrel into the living room.

And spent the next hour,  with a hose in it,  filling it with water.

And threw an M80 into it.

It didn't blow out any windows,  but ****.

They kind of did this all the time.

Their high school transcripts are 20' thick.

Mom would make an angry face,  and make them clean it up.  She had six boys.  She lost.

[Huaco Kid]

The youngest brother, Barry,  was a tit-nose,  waaaay smarter than his brothers.

He always had a job.  Fixing mini-bikes, and lawnmowers, at the dealership.  Even when he was 13,  he had money.

His brother's would borrow money from him,  with interest, of course.  Sometimes he'd shut them off,  for owing too much.  That's a knife-fight.

[Huaco Kid]

And if they dicked-off barry too much,  he'd going in their bedrooms and take their $2000 stylus out of their stereos.

That's a knife-fight.

[Huaco Kid]

At one point,  they all had 10 semi-truck-worthy padlocks on their bedroom doors.

Barry (we called him, "The Doctor"),  would just laugh at that.

[Huaco Kid]

One twin would be having a full-berserk-meltdown,  because his car wouldn't start.  on party night.

Barry would say, "Bitch."    "What about this?" 

And pull some spark-plug wires out of his pocket.

That's a knife-fight.

[Huaco Kid]

Biker Bob (I've told the Triumph story) (and this one) once shot Fred Flintsone.

With his .38. not mine.

He said some guy owed him money ("I'll take drugs for $2000, Alex!")  So he went to collect.

He was, actually, a very cool guy,  a retired Sergeant, on his GI Bill,  with two young kids,  and a skanky drug-addled wife.

He showed up,  in his most pleasant Seargent-learned capacity.  Explained that the kids were hungry,  and he needed the money.

And the guy laughed at him.

Bob shot the guy's TV.

Said he shot Barney.

Said the picture immediately went out,  but Barney kept talking for a minute.

[Huaco Kid]

And only Bob could do this.

[Huaco Kid]

He walked down to the Lacy-Lakeview police department,  a block away,  late at night.

Slapped the .38 down on the counter,  showed them his student ID,  and told them the whole story.  Don't know if he said drugs. or what.

His kids were hungry.  He owed him money.  Here we are.

They took  a report,  gave him his gun back,  and sent him home.

Only Bob could do this.

[Huaco Kid]

I don't know if he ever got his drug-money back, or what.

[Huaco Kid]

Sometimes,  late at night,  there'd be a knock at the back door.  It was Bab,  and the kids.  In the rain.

All he had to say was, "We're hungry."

He knew where the the kitchen was,  so it was all good.

 

[Huaco Kid]

He had a $15K,  Army salary,  stereo-reel-to-reel,  that probably produced music,  that you still can't match today.

But he'd get his check,  and go to the pawn shop,  and get his stereo out,  and spend his whole check doing it.

And two weeks later,  It'd be back in the pawn-shop.

I hit him with a hockey stick,  but they don't have hockey sticks in Texas,  so he didn't get it.

[Huaco Kid]

One time (that other window-touch story is another story),  he met me at a crossroads,  after class,  and said, "Do you want to go do some good wholesome stuff?!?"

And I did!

So we were blowing through Lacy-Lakeview,  at 100mph,  on our bikes,  and we skidded into Bob's front yard!

And ten cop cars skidded in right behind us.

Some of them crashed into the front porch,  and poked into the house.  Bob don't care much about this rental house.

But they were mad.  Been watching us.

I always had a briefcase strapped on the back.  They knew this.  That was the big deal.  All sitting there with .357s pointed at our heads.

And they took me down.

And in my briefcase,  I had a fancy calculator,  a calc book,  and some English poetry, or ****,  and some job applications.

So they told us to have a nice day.

[Huaco Kid]

They never hassled us again, after that.

A lot of other troublemakers to keep an eye on.

I think that was before Bob shot Barney.

[Huaco Kid]

His girlfriend, Becky, was playing with his SW revolver,  and it went off,  and shot the neighbor's,  across the street, window out.

So the cops came.

And it wasn't that big of a deal.

[Huaco Kid]

Black Larry lived in "the ghetto" in Waco.

We both worked for White Larry,  at the salvage yard.

I had been to his apartment, many times.  This is a place where white people can't be.

With my briefcase on the back.  Which I always took with me.  Do you know how many wheels I had to weld together,  to get that calculator??

And I always just t-danced in,  not giving a ****.

He said I freaked all the apartments out.

I was known as "the long-haired white-boy on the motorcycle"'

He said I scared them.

And everyone got over it,  I guess.