pipedreams Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 (edited) A 92 year old man was walking along a river bank when he heard a voice, “ Hey, over here, come over here”. He walked over and saw a big frog which talked further saying, “Hey listen, if you pick me up and kiss me I’ll turn into a beautiful, young and sexy woman”. The old man thought for a moment then picked up the frog, placed him in his satchel and zipped it closed. The frog started to yell, “hey you were supposed to kiss me!!” And the old man replied “Well you know at my age I’d rather have a talking frog”. Edited August 23, 2019 by pipedreams 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 My girlfriend found lipstick in my jacket pocket. I told her straight up I was cheating. There's no way that I was going to confess that I sell Avon! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 Just fulfilling your wishes..... Wife and I were discussing our will. I said I wanted to be cremated and she made an appointment for next Tuesday 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 24, 2019 Author Share Posted August 24, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 3 hours ago, pipedreams said: In the Late 60's my BIL had a large model Ford product with a very large engine. It was Winter and while the attendant was filling the tank, My BIL let the engine idle. He had a very large tank even for its day. Finally the attendant came to the drivers side and told him to turn it off so he could catch up! What a great line, and laugh we had. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted August 24, 2019 Share Posted August 24, 2019 3 hours ago, pipedreams said: Just fulfilling your wishes..... Wife and I were discussing our will. I said I wanted to be cremated and she made an appointment for next Tuesday I sent this to my DIL. She is a jewel. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 25, 2019 Author Share Posted August 25, 2019 I took some iron supplements and Viagra at the same time. Now I am my own compass. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 25, 2019 Author Share Posted August 25, 2019 A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.” “Wow, that’s incredible.” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife. “Bonnie.” he says. “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?” “Oh sweet Jesus!" exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 27, 2019 Author Share Posted August 27, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 No stigma to being a criminal anymore. They're just persecuted voters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted August 31, 2019 Author Share Posted August 31, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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pipedreams Posted September 5, 2019 Author Share Posted September 5, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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pipedreams Posted September 5, 2019 Author Share Posted September 5, 2019 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted September 6, 2019 Share Posted September 6, 2019 7 hours ago, pipedreams said: Need a groaner emoji. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted September 8, 2019 Author Share Posted September 8, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janice6 Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 6 hours ago, pipedreams said: I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 Morning! d6ee929e6e7dc5ab.mp4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted September 12, 2019 Author Share Posted September 12, 2019 A young guy goes to his first party. He's a little nervous, but finally ends up talking to this cute young girl that was also there for her first party. After talking to each other for close to an hour, the girl says to him, "Hey, why don't we exchange numbers?" The kid says, "I don't know. Wouldn't that be confusing for the people trying to call us?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipedreams Posted September 13, 2019 Author Share Posted September 13, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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