At The Bar

[willie-pete]

I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink, contemplating, when a really big
trouble-making Scumbag steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
 

"Well, what you gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
 

"Come on, man," the Scumbag says, "I didn't think you'd CRY you big baby. I can’t stand to see a man crying."
 

"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I... went to the car park, I found me car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the Taxi I took home. I found my girl friend in bed with the gardener, and then my dog attacked me." 
 

"So I came to this Pub to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a Rat-Poison capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve.
 

Then you show up and drink the whole bloody thing on me!
 

"Anyway, enough about me, how's your day going?"

[Rellik]

You got a streak of evil in you that I like!