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Canada dealing with window lickers...


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The best way to take a double-flying-elbow-center-ice-hit  to the head is with your hair doing a 1 1/2 backflip with you.

It didn't impress any girls.  They never came to the games.

So you had to explain it all later. 

But your hair was still frozen solid.

So that's how cool we were.

Couldn't remember my own name,  but it didn't matter when girls were involved.

Girls aren't that shallow.

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And it wasn't even nice clean chain link.

It was all dented-in taped-up stuff.

This place had a second floor,  so the parents could scream at you, from upstairs,  while getting your face washed into the fence.

I don't think it was anyone's "home" rink.  We just had to play there.  It was all stinky, broken and defunct.  Bad ice.  We dressed in the car , so we didn't have to go to the locker rooms.

They probably sold beer,  so the parents didn't really care how many stitches you got.

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I once got a penalty,  because I took a slap-shot right into the head.

But the puck stuck into my facemask,  right where I had hack-sawed the little bars off, right next to my eyes.

If it had bounced off my head, no problemo.

If it takes two people to dislodge a puck  from your face-area,  they notice that stuff,  and you get a penalty for illegal equipment.

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I once got a penalty because my stick was curved too much.  There's a rule.

I would get Mom's best pot,  boil water in it,  stick my blade into the boiling water until it got soft,  and jam it under the basement door,  with a puck under it.

A 3" curve!!!

I think 1/2" was allowed.

Coach called me an *******,  and to never do it again.

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4 hours ago, Huaco Kid said:

And 1000 times, at -5*,  we played hockey, and afterwards,  all the Moms would say, "YOUR HAIR IS FROZEN SOLID!!!  GET IN THE CAR BEFORE YOU DIE!"

That's just Mom-Fake.  They have to say that.  They don't really care.

I have had frozen hair many times. Been frost bit too.

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