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Huaco Kid

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Everything posted by Huaco Kid

  1. And then, so, next to the hotel was THE COOLEST BAR EVAR! They had a full wall of old pinball machines. Welcome to MY world! Woozy pinball is good. With alcohol. It's what I do.
  2. I worked outside in north Vegas a couple months ago. 117°. Next to a 400° metal construct. I didn't drop out, but felt pretty woozy for a day or two.
  3. Hyde Park had the Serpentine Lake. It was a long-long time custom for people to sail their model ships on it. I got a 3' one for my birthday! There's a skill to sailing these craft (some were uber-skilled. Mine was beginner.) I set my sails, with the little man in the boat, and you just let 'er rip! woo hoo! Mine listed, on it's maiden voyage, and went down, way way out in the middle. Like, later, they drained the lake for repairs, and found 10,000 boats at the bottom.
  4. Some advertisers once came to our "Overseas" school in London. The english had invented the Spirograph toy, which was a success, and they wanted an American kid voice for the American commercials. Me and a girl got picked. Did the commercials, just my voice, to the english kid's commercial. The TV guys gave my teacher the checks, and they were presented in a big deal. I think Mom and Dad got that money too.
  5. Oh. And I won the last-night Bingo. The last game, on the last day. The cover-the-whole-card game. I don't remember how much it was (British Pounds), but it was the big one. Mom and Dad doled it out. I got whatever I wanted for a year. I do know that the last thing I got was a Flexible Flyer. I'm also pretty sure that Mom and Dad got a house full of new furniture.
  6. We ate at the Captain's Table once. Likely because of my notoriety of winning a race, setting the cabin on fire, and requiring a level-10 rescue. Mom and Dad probably had lobster, and got hammered on the best stuff. I think I only ate hot-dogs the whole time.
  7. Since England didn't have GI Joes, and I didn't know any better, I had Action Man. He was like a lame male barbie. It's all we had. In the ships cabin, I made pulleys and slings (from that flat-plastic string from scout camp) (yes, I was an english boy scout), so Man could get up to the top bunk (they were triple-deckers). Then I engineered, tying the string to the ceiling fan, and Man at the end, and eventually the string would twist so much that it would lift man up to the top! Saves all the manual labor. Then, once, I don't know, he missed his mark and wound up into the motor, with the string wrapped deeply into the bearings, and Man getting melted with the heat, and it caught fire. No smoke alarms back then. So I ran away. You can try to lie your way out of that one, but the evidence was damning. Some people were furiously angry, and others just thought I was just an extremely cool little bugger.
  8. I rode on the SS France, from England to here, in the early 70's. Took a week(?). Lots of fun memories, since I was very little, being escorted around (the parental units seemed fine with letting sailors take me all day), I saw a lot of cool insides. I won a swimming race and won a 3' long ultra-detailed model (in a display case) that Dad put on the mantel for decades. I don't know what happened to it. Might've sank. During one huge storm, me and my friend, went outside at night on the railing at the stern, and were amazed that the water was going from 300' down, and then up to almost the deck, and back... We marveled at the pool (olympic sized), because first you could see the bottom of that end, then the bottom of this end, back and forth... I think we threw lounge chairs in it. Then a bunch of guys, daisy-chained at the waist, stretched out and snatched us up. Some people were furiously angry, and others just thought we were extremely cool little buggers.
  9. Them 'nucks spend ten month each year, sitting in a wood-heated garage. With beer.
  10. I once had a very long layover at an airport. I purposely found the most secluded and deserted empty gate, and sat in the corner. After a bit, some spiffy (very sharply dressed) businessgirl came and sat almost directly across me, in the wasteland, and started LOUDLY talking into her phone about THE BIG DEAL! THEY PULLED IT OFF! THE BIG DEAL! THEY WERE SO GOOD, WITH THE BIG DEAL, THAT THEY WERE GOING PLACES! WITH THE BIG DEAL! AND FAMOUS! ACCOLADES!! BONUSES!! MORE DEALS!................................... I decided I was sick up and fed of it. So every time she mentioned a name or a number, I pretended that I was writing it down. It didn't take long for her to notice. She snapped shut and sped off. Yeah. I'm like that.
  11. If you flip the air filter lid upside down, you can run it at the drag strip.
  12. Yeah, but therapy helped: https://indie88.com/these-vintage-scary-easter-bunny-photos-are-straight-out-of-a-horror-movie/
  13. Kroger trades drugs to SuperAmerica for sex.
  14. My buddy cut some old guy's grass, and part of the deal was he had unlimited use of the 70. We spanked that thing to no end. It would haul two kids up a 89° hill.
  15. But alligators are pretty slow. It was probably a minor annoyance, at most.
  16. Why don't they drydock these ships for preservation / display?
  17. I heard they found Pee Wee's bicycle in the basement.
  18. I keep spares in the glovebox. Having one burned out is, basically, just a huge "PULL ME OVER!" billboard on your car. (I can change one in a dark parking lot, albeit deeply scratched hands and busted fingernails)
  19. He said the only time he rode it was that clip in the opening credits. (he crashed it)
  20. That was waaaay before we were conditioned to being appalled and outraged by them.
  21. I remember them in the arms of the school's auditorium seats.
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