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Huaco Kid

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Everything posted by Huaco Kid

  1. "There once was a man from Nantucket... "
  2. I worked in a salvage yard in college, in a small Texas town. A local college/high school kid came in and bought all of the 'space-saver' spare tires we had. Like, twenty or thirty of them. He was convinced, with dollar signs in his eyes, that he was going to sell them to the hooptie crowd, and everyone would be cruisin' Sonic with tiny tires. He was really pissed, a month later, when my boss would only pay him 1/10th of what he originally paid, to buy them all back. (E: The space-saver spares were so useless to a auto yard, that we would use them to fill yard potholes and build walls out of them.)
  3. If it was, like, the $3 rack, my wallet would be much lighter.
  4. In the olden days, they'd let the balloons go at the end of the parade. Filled with helium, they'd float for a week. They offered a reward for the return of a balloon. https://www.yahoo.com/news/past-present-balloons-macys-thanksgiving-010052703.html
  5. Once, when I was little, I had my cowboy duds on, my cowboy hat on, and was packing some guns (one in the hat... like the movies), all I needed was a horse. So, I tied the ends of a rope (reins) to the handlebars of my bicycle. It was, surprisingly, actually easy to ride... until one end of the rope came untied...
  6. It's full of vodka. Avoids those pesky open-container laws.
  7. I couldn't tell if the bells were getting louder, the songs they ring I finally recognize. I only know hell is getting hotter, the devil's getting smarter all the time. And it would be nice to walk upon the water, to talk again to angels on my side. Time is getting closer, I read it on a poster, fanatical exposers on corners prophecy. It would be nice to walk upon the water, to talk again to angels at my side. I just come back to show you all my words are golden, so have no gods before me I'm the light. ~Cooper
  8. "Look everbuddy! It's Donnie Osmond!"
  9. Who knows what someone who's too incompetent to have several rolls of duct tape in his possession is capable of?
  10. We've got these around here. (I've never seen one) Everyone says don't even consider messing with one unless it's dead because they are meaner than honey-badgers. https://www.google.com/search?q=pennsylvania+fisher&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CUdrOeIlYhMcIjiKB2FuZq9GIIoD7u2wBSEV3pVzAOt8jVSWRqKz2VYvA0uBCxQ8o60SkCVmB1RrZbGE6B9SwKdGZSoSCYoHYW5mr0YgERQ5-nashC2rKhIJigPu7bAFIRURJtnkRNJPbU0qEgnelXMA63yNVBHUjm6vQ0lh5SoSCZZGorPZVi8DEWaKSVEdY5ymKhIJS4ELFDyjrRIRSP3GN804q5AqEgmQJWYHVGtlsRHHxKg9BbVahCoSCYToH1LAp0ZlEct7HnoNRwCY&tbo=u&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjXwPiyldPXAhXDvxQKHSaAAEMQ9C8IHw&biw=1198&bih=617&dpr=1
  11. I met him once (I've met a lot of "famous" celebrities because of my brother). I said something profound, like, "Wow! Great to meet you." (That's about all I can say when I'm with my brother. NO autographs. No phanboy gushing. No shop-talk, because they all know I'm not "in the biz" and that makes me a slackjaw moron.)
  12. Well, I do. I Think I Love You.
  13. In my world, there is no such thing as 'leftover' cornbread.
  14. "You know how you know I'm gay?" "How?" "I've still got The Partridge Family on my .mp3 player."
  15. 0100111001001111 010101110100000101011001.
  16. If you leave the cooler in the car overnight in Minnesota, it freezes into a solid block and you can't get your drinks out.
  17. Do you want to feel my butt-ass muscles? I climbed ten flights and 200 ' x 10 x 5. It's like I have baseballs in my back pockets.
  18. Like black Tosh. They hate that.
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