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Huaco Kid

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Everything posted by Huaco Kid

  1. It must REALLY be canned, if they break it's legs with a stick first!
  2. For survival, it'll do. (We were once on the last day of a loooooong camping trip. I dragged out and asked if there was anything left to eat. They said there were hotdogs in the cooler. Only.... that's all that was in the cooler. No water. No ice. Just dogs at the bottom. They said they just ate some. "Don't look in there! Don't look at it! Just grab it, put it on a stick, and cook it." I think I went hungry that day. I don't think those guys even ate one, they just wanted to see if I would.)
  3. Huaco Kid

    ****

    Looks like it catches the c-word, huh?
  4. We had a Mongolian girl as an exchange student many years ago. Her family actually herded yaks (?) between the highlands and lowlands each year. For some reason, I kind of expected a girl that didn't know what to do in a shopping center or how to use tableware. The first time I met her was when she walked into the living room with her laptop and asked, "Is your wireless 'G' or 'N'?
  5. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.
  6. Hey! Groucho called. He wants his eyebrows back.
  7. I like good meatloaf. I'll take the end-pieces, please. I hate gravy. Always have.
  8. Besides, I'm guessing that she can't even reach her own butt, so someone else gets to deal with her choices.
  9. Hey! Cheese-nips are baked, not fried, which makes them a fruit, I think. Yeah. A fruit.
  10. We're going to get Irma'd all tonight and tomorrow> I've still got a full gas tank from, like, three weeks ago, the generators are still un-purchased, stocked up on a gallon of iced tea and most of a case of beer, and my car windows are rolled up! We'll hurricane-party until the wee hours and then start looting!
  11. The one brother, "The Crazy One", was once on the sidelines at his brother's collegiate game. The other team caught a long pass and the guy was running for a sure touchdown. The one brother, in his street clothes, ran onto the field, took a set, and nailed the runner harder than anybody has ever seen anybody get hit before. He went to jail. But he didn't care, because he was used to it.
  12. For the full party effect, you've got to get all four brothers (all ex-college football players) together. Then, yeah, things might get crazy. I've learned to stay a little farther than arm's-reach away from any of them when they've been partying.
  13. UNCLE STEVE And, yes, he's often got that look on his face. (When I was dating my wife, he once picked me up with one hand (he was playing college football then), around my scruffy pencil-neck) and knocked my head into a 9' lath-and-cement ceiling (and he probably had a beer in the other hand), while muttering something about "...our women....")
  14. My niece's (I think live-in) boyfriend (they are both "Artists!"), whom I met at a recent wedding, is the most gelatinous glob of pajama-ness I've ever witnessed. I mean, really, he's a very nice guy (and I like his taste in music), but, wow, what a waste of oxygen! It was very satisfying to see Uncle Steve, frequently, give him the "dead meat-hand" up-side his head, for whatever he was doing at the moment. "WHAT DID I JUST SAY ONE SECOND AGO?"
  15. He's definitely got this Falling Down vibe going on.
  16. A 'double feature' movie. '62. Nookyoular attack by "the enemy"!! Very good. Very Twilight Zone-ish. (We've, somehow, gotten some of these weird cable-tv channels that only show obscure movies and shows. Often, they're not even the same channel. They keep jumping around from station to station.)
  17. You just know she's washing down the mustard and a couple jars of mayonnaise.
  18. When Mom was a little girl, she rescued a 5' (it was longer than she was!) black snake from a bunch of mean neighborhood kids. It's name was Jehoshaphat!, because that's what Grandma screamed, the first time she saw it.
  19. I still, occasionally, pick up a USSA Today at the hotel. For when in the dumper. It's fitting.
  20. I let my last subscription lapse when Calvin & Hobbes left the scene.
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