Huaco Kid

We save amazon boxes until we look like hoarders and burn them all after dark, usually when we have beers and beer. Recently, when the kids were over. A cardboard bonfire isn't hard to maintain, but this time it suddenly went out. I took a stick and wedged up the huge flat box that was smothering it. I was instantly blasted in an all-consuming fireball. Completely engulfed. Like a flamethrower. I ran out of it. Lost a lot of hair. Probably very lucky I had glasses on. My wife told the kids, "That's probably a full two-dozen on his "Didn't Kill Me" list." The kids rolled their eyes and looked startled. The grandkids thought it was magnificent. They all touched my frizzled hair.

I fully expect my last words to be, "Oh, ****."

Jeez, you'd think she could bring some sandwiches too....

They had a warrant to raid Michelle's underwear drawer, but all the agents threatened to quit when it was assigned to them.

He's lucky, I've heard that the cuisine is exquisite in the Atlanta jail. And there are ample opportunities to practice your screaming skills.

Well.... It leaves no choice but to double the minimum wage again! ::cheers!:: ::applause!:: It's the obvious cure!

Climate change.

Climate change.

They're already planning on raiding Stormy Daniels' underwear drawer.

Maybe it's covering up Australia, like in a litter box.

She seems nice.

**** JOE BIDEN.

They probably stretched some of her underwear all out of shape and put it into Trump's dresser.

He will run. ...which will start the ****-show, that I will enjoy every second of. If he should actually happen to gain the nomination...... hoo boy! (queue hillery... which would be their only hope in this galaxy.....) Dis gone be gud!

My chair slides, not rolls. I've got slidey-pucks on the bottom and a piece of outdoor carpeting. On my desk, I've got a quilting mat. It's just right for writing on and has 1" measuring grid and angles marked all over it. It's supposed to be "self healing" from cuts, but I can pretty much Lecter it.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/jumping-spiders-dream-rem-sleep-study-suggests

Top ten places to vomit in public...

2 years +1 day.

They'll tell your grandchildren, "Alright! We approved it! We spent it! Now you have to pay for it."