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Huaco Kid

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Everything posted by Huaco Kid

  1. It's medicine. It hurts, amazingly. I have to get up very early tomorrow, so I can't medicate tonight.
  2. I'm not going to dick with these magnets any more. There's not really anything to do with them, but stick them to the fridge, where they'll never come off. And crush the **** out of your fingers.
  3. After my last surgery, right across my chest, a long time ago, I was recovering at home. Some idiot left my CB antenna in the driveway, and my wife ran over it. Crushed. It was trash, but still had a magnificent magnet on it. (just one of the regular big gray ones). I took it apart, because you never want to waste a good magnet. I decided that it would be a good idea to store it on the basement ductwork. So I had it in my hand, raising my arm up... When it got 6" from the ductwork, it went "SNAP", and ripped my whole arm and body up with it. So all my stitches ripped, and I started bleeding through my shirt. I didn't see that coming, either.
  4. When I first got the 2"'er, I stuck it to the basement ductwork, because I thought it was a good place to keep it. It took 3' channel-locks to get it off. Then I kept it deeply wrapped in bubble-wrap, in a cardboard box. And now the channel-locks are magnetized.
  5. I knew they were nasty-strong, but had no Idea one would fly across the desk and bear-trap me. The "snap" sound was my first clue. Before the pain hit.
  6. You can try, for a full minute, with your finger grotesquely bent, but then you realize you're just cutting into blood-loss time.
  7. Looks perfect to me. We had some old farmer around here that had a Willys pickup that I saw around town every day, for many years. It wasn't multicolored, but just sun burned into brown. I haven't seen it in years. He probably died and someone bought it, restored and painted it. And totally ruined it.
  8. I think my finger is broke. And the magnets, that will probably never come apart again, have huge chunks of my bloody meat trapped between them. I did not see that coming. It looks like Michael Myers was here. Fck those magnets.
  9. I had to stumble around, and I found a screwdriver. But no hammer. I had lay on the floor, so my hand would go into the right position, and hammered the screwdriver with a 10lb dumbbell. That hurt more than the initial impact. And took several minutes to get it to work. With silent screams.
  10. You can't just "pull" these things apart.
  11. Now all the magnets are insanely pinching meaty parts of my fingers and hand. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. I almost barfed. And there's huge globs of blood going everywhere. My middle finger was bent around, in an impossible way, and also snapped into place. I'm about to pass out, with a psycho-amount of blood all around.
  12. Then I remembered that I also have two 1" magnets, in a special isolating box. They are stuck together, but separated by a 1/2" plastic frame. I figured I could sandwich the card between the magnets, and store it on the side of the refrigerator, so I wouldn't lose it. So, I was getting the 1" magnets out of the box. The 2"'er, that was, easily, a foot away, jumped up, went supersonic, and SMACKED into my hand. In one microsecond.
  13. I renewed a government id/security card I've got. I have to show it occasionally at jobsites. It's got a magnetic stripe and a chip. The highly trained security personnel glance at it, and hand it back. They've never swiped or inserted it. Because I carry it everywhere, I'd rather have those features disabled, in case it's lost/stolen, as was my last card. So, after a tragic canoe accident, where the chip got smacked between two hard surfaces, it's likely dysfunctional. I've got a neodymium magnet, 2" square, which is insanely strong. It was sitting on my desk, and my card started, accidentally, rubbing against it.
  14. But they let you keep the puffy (michael-jackson-style) cap! That's better than candy.
  15. Global warming decreases fertility rates. We'll need those babies, to work at fast food restaurants.
  16. Tie a pack of heroin on their backs, give them a pat on the fanny, and let them out the 11th story window. They know where to go; that place they get a little feast each time. It's not new.
  17. I'll bet he chewed a couple jugulars out, before he took one for the team.
  18. Ulfie had a career of, pretty much, deserving that.
  19. After a goal, they show the replay 20 times, in slo-mo, of the guy, maybe making spectacular moves, and making a wicked shot. But they don't show the five or seven seconds before that, where the f-up, or total breakdown, occurred.
  20. Ronnie is as skinny as me, from the waist up. His legs are as big as redwood trunks. And I think he's got a cigarette. They'll let you touch the cup. But if you try to pick it up, the goons rush over.
  21. The gnarliest, baddest men in the sports world must go to acting school, because the pitifully phony dives they perform to draw penalties are painfully embarrassing. It's something a toddler would do when they want a hug. Pretty good game, full-on, and no one wants to be the f-up at this point.
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