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Huaco Kid
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The tank in my office is 40 gallons.

I had Oscar for, like, ten or fifteen years.  I got him when he was 1" long.  He got as big as a football.

Then he died one day.

He was such a good friend (he would jump out of the tank if he knew guppies were coming)  (try to catch a hand-eating wet football flying into your face, in mid-air), that I wanted to give him a proper burial.  But it was winter.

So I put him in the freezer.

I don't know when my wife, unceremoniously, threw him away.

But I guess he had it coming.

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So.

I decided that the tank-bubblers weren't bubbling enough (underground filter) (that's the ONLY right way,  irregardless of what you internet weenies learned))

So I replaced them.

Which is a big deal, because the tank is built into shelves and is hard to deal with.  And it took 30 minutes.

And it was bubbling. BIG!

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I don't how, or why, I noticed.

The shark is as big as a sausage.  He's always there.

I noticed he was gone.

It took a flashlight search-and-rescue.  He wasn't in there.

I've had them before.  They WILL jump out.

I did a flashlight search all over (this tank is built into the wall) the floor.  He's a sausage big.

I had dirty laundry on the floor and didn't want want him going through the washer and dryer.

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I was brushing him, and picked ticks off him and noticed.....  he's got a hairball-golfball-poolball hanging off his butt.

He's 140 years old.  You can do that when you're that old.

So, I'll take my trusty scissors and snip it off.

The ****** went psycho-berserk.  Live I've never seen before.

Like a howling banshee.  He clawed the **** out of me.

I guess butt-poo-balls hurt.

I don't know.

I already told my wife we're going to get him. With a towel.  It won't take but a second.  *******.

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