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do you attend funerals of family you dont like


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my uncle just passed at 99 ,  and my dad died at 70 ,  and ifeel my dad was cheated since he passed ,  ive heard some rumblings  of me skipping all the  funeral stuff , but he was a vile swindler and he screwed people over and over ,  he died rich  but he ruined alot of lives  getting there,   and im not gonna sit there and have people speak all this good stuff  bout  him when he was a piece of **** .   i dunno why people lie at funerals   , get up there and tell the ******* truth ,  it baffles me . 

he swindled some land  from a old lady who owned prime land  where everyone knew a business was gonna come there eventually  and  sure enough  he got right at a million dollars  for the land after he basically stole it from this old lady  who i knew all my life.   thats who  he was ,   she took her life 2 years later. she had no kids or family living.  

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Hell, I don't go to funerals for family members I DO like.  Having lost a brother years ago, I don't remember who was at the funeral.  I remember that I was grieving and there was nothing anybody could have said to ease my suffering.  So I generally avoid funerals unless I am specifically requested to be there.

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No. Right now my biological father is in the late stages of cancer and I don't feel like getting in touch with him  and I won't attend his service either. Some time just before or just after my 4th birthday he left and when contact was re established about 11 years later it was because my older brother wanted to see him, not through any slight effort of his.

I have three half siblings that he had with his second wife and to be fair he was there for them. I don't hate the guy but there is no bond there either and I have no inclination to pretend there is. A few years ago when he first got cancer I guess he felt like he wanted to tidy up loose ends. One of my siblings that chose to repair the bonds that his desertion severed gave me some crap right up to the point that I let him know that he was about to **** up our relationship as brothers, that was about 15 minutes in to the discussion. I owe David nothing and I don't believe he owes me anything either. In the unlikely event he has me in his will I will tell the other siblings to flip a coin or something. He gave me half my DNA and that is it.

Edited by G26S239
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40 minutes ago, PNWguy said:

Hell, I don't go to funerals for family members I DO like.  Having lost a brother years ago, I don't remember who was at the funeral.  I remember that I was grieving and there was nothing anybody could have said to ease my suffering.  So I generally avoid funerals unless I am specifically requested to be there.

I actually like attending services for who I care for to say bye and visit family & friends but I understand that many people like yourself don't. Either decision should be respected.

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From all the above, I guess I have had a really good family. There’s nobody there that I don’t like.  We had our 94th family reunion this summer.  Next year may be the last, as the three generations that were at the first are all gone now.  The only ones I don’t go to are the ones I can’t reach.  

Hawk 

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I usually go to all of the ones I can. The family is pretty thin now and spread out. Not many of us left and scattered all over.

 

However there will be one in the next few years that I will not attend. Only one other person alive knows what she did to the family and we will let it die with us. But we will not attend her funeral. Partly out of disgust or protest. Partly to protect the family from what she did. If I’m not there, I can’t talk. 

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Four or five years ago I determined to not attend any more funerals.  Family or otherwise....  It's a waste of time and those serviceless funerals are becoming popular of late. 

 

I will be one of those who will not be attending my own service as I'm being donated as a cadaver to a place that farms cadavers.  No funeral charges or the like.  Just a call to an 800  number and they do the rest.  My missus is signed up for the same deal...  

 

I've always thought  of  the narrow sited people in cemetaries that expect people to care for their markers for generations.  We have a few of those near us.  Mostly abandoned and depending on the historical society to clean em up and maintain them because the families have long forgotten about them.  What a bunch of Hooey!!!

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My father and brother died three days from of each other in 2011. Those were the last two funerals I went to. I feel that I've felt with more than my  my fair share of funerals regardless of how I might feel about the departed.

Now to answer your question. I would prefer not to attend a funeral of someone I did not like, but funerals are not for the dead so I might go for those that survived him or her.

Edited by jmohme
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I'm fortunate that I don't have any family that I don't like. My mom and dad have both died and their funerals were meaningful events. Same thing with my grandmother who lived to be 103. I just heard that an old friend just died at age 70 (same age as me) who I'd known since the seventh grade and was still in touch with but I wasn't invited to the funeral but I would go if they asked me.

He and I lived next door and walked to school together every day and I was friends with his family. I knew his mom an dad and his sisters and went to his sisters weddings I've had a number of good friends die over the years who were all people I respected and would have wanted to honor them by attending their funerals if given the opportunity to do so. but no, I would not attend the funeral of anyone who I didn't respect.

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