Jump to content

Today would have been his birthday.


Silentpoet
 Share

Recommended Posts

Today we, I don't what the exact right word is, celebrated, memorialized, or what you would call it the birthday of a child of ours who committed suicide last november.  He would have been 16.  We wrote happy birthday on balloons and released them on the hill behind the office.  We took his picture off the wall and had it on the hill with us.  I didn't really know him all that well, but the little I met him I thought he was an OK kid.  I was pretty down myself after a bunch of negative events.  I was broken up about a bunch of things.  He had been through an adoption and after it was finalized it failed.  I am not sure how long he was in foster care, but many years.  He was at a residential facility and hung himself in his closet somehow.

What is sad is all his life amounted to was a small box of belongings in my office.  We had one of the workers who got hired this year go through it and throw out most of it.  Because I didn't really want to.  It was about a month ago.  I have a stress ball of his in one of the drawers of my desk. 

He was cremated and the remains taken to his grandmother in Arizona.

So after the balloon release ceremony I took one of the foster kids to Dairy Queen on the way home and got her a blizzard.  Her birthday was yesterday. She has been in foster care for almost 5 continuous years.  She also has been through a failed adoption where they were pretty close to finalizing it.

39762385_10215136702504009_1204465046348890112_n.jpg

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 2
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Silentpoet said:

Today we, I don't what the exact right word is, celebrated, memorialized, or what you would call it the birthday of a child of ours who committed suicide last november.  He would have been 16.  We wrote happy birthday on balloons and released them on the hill behind the office.  We took his picture off the wall and had it on the hill with us.  I didn't really know him all that well, but the little I met him I thought he was an OK kid.  I was pretty down myself after a bunch of negative events.  I was broken up about a bunch of things.  He had been through an adoption and after it was finalized it failed.  I am not sure how long he was in foster care, but many years.  He was at a residential facility and hung himself in his closet somehow.

What is sad is all his life amounted to was a small box of belongings in my office.  We had one of the workers who got hired this year go through it and throw out most of it.  Because I didn't really want to.  It was about a month ago.  I have a stress ball of his in one of the drawers of my desk. 

He was cremated and the remains taken to his grandmother in Arizona.

So after the balloon release ceremony I took one of the foster kids to Dairy Queen on the way home and got her a blizzard.  Her birthday was yesterday. She has been in foster care for almost 5 continuous years.  She also has been through a failed adoption where they were pretty close to finalizing it.

39762385_10215136702504009_1204465046348890112_n.jpg

I "thanked" this post because I honestly don't think that people who do what you do get thanked nearly enough.

Despite your best efforts to convince us otherwise you're a hell of a good guy SP.  Doing what you do can't be easy.

I know it's tough but as the kids say "just keep grinding."

 

The adoption process can be brutal.  I understand the idea of wanting to keep a family together if possible but it can really jerk the kids around.  And when they find out they have to move to another family sometimes they freak out.

The wife and I looked at it a couple of years ago but never finished it.  I was afraid of the affect it would have on our son.  Not because of having to share us, but also because of the horror stories they tell you during the process.

The processes is a fucked up mess but I don't know how to fix it.

Edited by SC Tiger
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Dric902 said:

We’ve been keeping foster kids for about 12 years now. Only one “failure” so far but nothing like you’ve gone through.

God bless you and your family

You’ve got a tough job.  I can generally go home at night and at least get some distance between me and work.  The foster parents are on 24/7.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Please Donate To TBS

    Please donate to TBS.
    Your support is needed and it is greatly appreciated.
×
×
  • Create New...