Headlines - punctuation is important

[SC Tiger]

So I pop over to Foxnews.com and they have this story:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/08/20/texas-man-yelling-jesus-is-coming-while-stabbing-toddler-is-shot-by-neighbor-trying-to-stop-attack-cops-say.html

With the headline: "Texas man yelling ‘Jesus is coming’ while stabbing toddler is shot by neighbor trying to stop attack, cops say"

I read that damn headline three times trying to figure out WTF is going on.  Finally I read the story and apparently it is like this:

Texas man was stabbing a toddler

Neighbor shot the Texas man to stop the attack.

So if they had said "Texas man yelling ‘Jesus is coming’ while stabbing toddler - is shot by neighbor trying to stop attack, cops say"

It makes more sense.  Of course now that I know what happened I have a hard time seeing it wrong but just one little dash would have made it so much clearer.

And the poor child died. 

[Huaco Kid]

So, he didn't come?

[SC Tiger]

7 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said:

So, he didn't come?

Unless the guy who shot him's name was Jesus, no.  I suppose not.

[Zonny]

You missed a comma; maybe two?

Edited August 20, 2018 by Zonny

[Historian]

Let's eat grandma.

Let's eat, grandma.

Commas save lives.

[Mrs.Cicero]

I didn't have any trouble understanding the original, mostly because Jesus isn't coming while stabbing a toddler.

[Walt Longmire]

22 hours ago, Mrs.Cicero said:

I didn't have any trouble understanding the original, mostly because Jesus isn't coming while stabbing a toddler.

Yeah, but you're smart like that. (wonders if I got my punctuation correct)

[Peng]

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. "Why?" groans the injured man. The panda shrugs and walks out, tossing a badly punctuated wildlife manual over his shoulder. When the waiter consults the book, he finds the explanation for this behavior. The entry for "panda" reads: "Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

 

 

[Walt Longmire]

2 minutes ago, Peng said:

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. "Why?" groans the injured man. The panda shrugs and walks out, tossing a badly punctuated wildlife manual over his shoulder. When the waiter consults the book, he finds the explanation for this behavior. The entry for "panda" reads: "Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

 

 

Did you just make this up? Oh, wait. Shoots and leaves.

[holyjohnson]

" It’s unclear what prompted the attack."

really?

'what prompted' a Father to stab his baby to death in a courtyard,WTF could prompt that?

[Walt Longmire]

2 minutes ago, holyjohnson said:

" It’s unclear what prompted the attack."

really?

'what prompted' a Father to stab his baby to death in a courtyard,WTF could prompt that?

Mental Illness