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Old Service Stations


Eric
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Two aliens landed their saucer out in the desert near a structure and approached to make contact with the earthlings. Little did they know they had found an abandoned gas station and no humans were even in the area.

They approached the old gas pumps, the kind with the glass metering tanks on top, and thought they were beings from the strange world they were visiting.

One of the aliens was younger and more impetuous, the other older and wiser. Our young alien demanded of the gas pump "We are new visitors to your planet. Take us to your leader!"

The gas pumps, of course, stood totally silent and completely still.

The young alien demanded again "We are new visitors to your planet. Take us to your leader!"

The pumps gave no reply.

Now the young alien was upset, he screeched out "Take us to your leader or I will blast you!"

The pumps were silent and the young alien was pissed and he quickly drew his blaster and fired, just as the old alien yelled "NO!"

Our gas pumps exploded in a violent ball of fire, destroying the gas station and flattening every desert plant for a hundred feet around.

Two very dazed aliens had been thrown far through the air and were further damaged by a hard landing. They rolled over and started to pick themselves up. The younger alien said to the older alien "Just before I fired you warned me not to, how did you know they could react so violently?"

The older alien sat up and said "Son, in all my travels, to all those galaxies, visiting all those many kinds of beings, I have learned one very important lesson! If you ever encounter someone so well endowed that they can wrap it around their self and stick it in their own ear, well, you don't **** around with them!"


:ufo:

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21 hours ago, Eric said:

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Every single time my father pulled in for gas, I heard the same thing!  Fill'er up and check the oil.  He added oil but never changed it or the filter.  I was married before I taught myself about cars and engines.

One of his cars lost the engine when the oil filter burst it was so plugged.

Another I ran dry of oil since I didn't know you were supposed to "change" it or maintain the engine in any way.  He used to buy only Chryslers since he said they would "last longer".  :crylikeender:

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On 6/17/2023 at 6:08 AM, gwalchmai said:

Did every petroleum company have a portmanteau of their name and "lubrication"? 

Also, am I disremembering the gas pedal ad where the kid says "Sir, could I get another twenty-five cents worth of Good Gulf?" :greensupergrin:

I used to buy a lot of Gulf gas since they had the dishes I liked best.  I got one each time I filled up.  I filled up every 2 to 3 days.

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