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you ever had a bodily fluid accident in public ?


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I smashed my nose in on the Indiana Jones ride at Disney Land back in the late 90s being stupid and not paying attention.    When the ride was over I came walking out of the dark tunnel with blood all over my face and running down onto my shirt.    While not on the epic level of shitting myself, it was pretty embarrassing.   

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I was about 13.  My family was returning from overseas, and I had been up for what seemed like days.  As we were walking from one gate/concourse to another, I just started projectile vomiting everywhere.  I nailed several people and their luggage.  

Then, there was one time......well, ol' Jill whatshername probably doesn't want me to share that.

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In my late teens and early 20's I was a long distance bike rider, 50 to 150 miles a day.  I didn't own a car, so I rode everyday everywhere.


After a long day of riding in Phoenix in the summer, I was in line at the grocery store, in bike shorts, cleats and tank top, when I felt a tickle on my leg.


I looked down to see I had shart myself.


I excused myself and used the facilities to take a sink-bath and went back to the line with purchases. 


Sheet happens.

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When I was in my teens, my dreams were wet and my farts were dry.

Now that I am pushing 40 my dreams are dry and my farts are wet.


I will admit to cutting a couple pairs of boxers off with my pocket knife and dropping them in the bathroom trashcan because I've had a few nasty cases of viral gastroenteritius.

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