Borg warner Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 Guy walks into a barber shop, says, "Bob Peters Here?" Barber says, "Nope, just cut hair." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borg warner Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share Posted July 11, 2018 A duck walks into a bar and asks how much for a draft beer and the bartender says, "five bucks". So the duck says OK, give me a beer." And as the bartender is pouring the beer he says, "We don't get very many ducks in here" and the duck says, "At these prices, it's no wonder." So the bartender give the duck a dirty look and says, "That'll be five bucks." And the duck says, "Put it on my Bill." Get it? Duck? Bill? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borg warner Posted July 12, 2018 Author Share Posted July 12, 2018 (edited) A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home. "Back in me pub in Glasgow," brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free/" "In my pub in London," says the Englishman,"I pay fer two pint's o' Ale and they bloody give me a third one free!" "That's nuthin'" says the Irishman, "In me pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free -- and then they take you upstairs and you have SEX for free!" "Seriously...?" says the Englishman,". "Has that really happened to you?" "Well, no," says the Irishman, "but it happens to me sister all the time!" Edited July 23, 2018 by Borg warner 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borg warner Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 Rosie O'Donnell And a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Rosie says, "That's not a pig you dumbass, it's a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rayzer007 Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 A black guy walked into a bar with a very colorful parrot on his shoulder. The parrot says, "Give me a water and give him a beer." The bartender brings the drinks and says, "That's a really neat pet; where did you get it?" The parrot says, "Over in Africa; there's millions of 'em!" 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul53 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 A 3 legged dog walks into a bar. Hops up on a stool and says to the bartender "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AerynSun2 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 On 7/10/2018 at 12:05 AM, Borg warner said: Guy walks into a barber shop, says, "Bob Peters Here?" Barber says, "Nope, just cut hair." Walk me through that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borg warner Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, AerynSun2 said: Walk me through that one. Guy walks into a barber shop, says, "Bob Peters Here?" Barber says, "Nope, just cut hair." The guy walks into the barber shop and asks if Bob Peters is there. The barber misunderstands and replies that he doesn't do sex changes, but only cuts hair. You see,"bob" is a term sometimes used to mean to cut something short. Have you ever heard of a "bobbed" hammer on a revolver? Now do you get it? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_cut Edited July 14, 2018 by Borg warner 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crockett Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 18 minutes ago, Borg warner said: Guy walks into a barber shop, says, "Bob Peters Here?" Barber says, "Nope, just cut hair." The guy walk into the barber shop and asks if Bob Peters is there. The barber misunderstands and replies that he doesn't do sex changes, but only cuts hair. You see, "bob" is a term sometimes used to mean to cut something short. Have you ever heard of a "bobbed" hammer on a revolver? Now do you get it? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_cut Thanks for the link buddy. Can't be unseen. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G19 DB Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 ...and sits down next to his ole buddy Bill. Q: How you doin ole friend? You get'n any on the side? A: It's been so long, I didn't know they moved it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glocks4Freedom Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Bobber bike... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borg warner Posted July 15, 2018 Author Share Posted July 15, 2018 (edited) On 7/14/2018 at 12:45 PM, Glocks4Freedom said: Bobber bike... That's a nice one. Here's one that belongs to my brother, He wanted to find a Flathead 80 but found a Flathead 74 engine with trans, then he got a custom frame for it and sportster forks. it has the hand shift. Edited July 15, 2018 by Borg warner 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XSIV4S Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 A guy walks into a bar...He wakes up a hour later with several stitches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogkilr Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Three blondes walk into a bar ... the brunette ducked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borg warner Posted July 18, 2018 Author Share Posted July 18, 2018 Guy walks in to a neighborhood bar where he is a regular. the bartender notices the man is earing an earing which is strange because he doesn't seem like the type to go in for that sort of thing and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense" So the bartender says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," the man replies sheepishly. The bartender says nothing for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing the ear ring?" "Ever since my wife found it in my car." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G19 DB Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?" The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks." The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted." The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happened. His friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glocks4Freedom Posted July 28, 2018 Share Posted July 28, 2018 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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