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Eric

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A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts:

Dr. Smith advised her. "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.'"

She did this faithfully for several months and it worked.She grew terrific D-cup boobs!

One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said. "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."

A guy sitting nearby looked at her and said. "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?"

"Why, yes I am. How did you know?"

He leaned closer, winked and whispered......

"Hickory dickory dock..."
 
 
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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.
His bookkeeper is deaf and dumb. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"
 
 
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