Random Posting

[pipedreams]

Letter from camp
Dear Mom,
Our Scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her that he's OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride on one of the
search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put a gas can on a fire, the gas can
will blow up? Billy is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that with a car that old you to have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride in the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with ten people in a car.
Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also, Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.
I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy more bullets and dynamite.
Don't worry about anything. We are fine.

Love, Junior

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[Borg warner]

[Batesmotel]

A little butterfly on a 20 year olds boob will look like a pterodactyl at 50. 

[janice6]

On 8/8/2022 at 8:48 AM, pipedreams said:

My wife is strange.  She isn't what you would call a good cook.  However, my mother left us when I was 12.  My father did the cooking.  He wasn't a bad cook, and I wasn't obsessed with the culinary arts, so if it was meat and cooked maybe with something else, I was a happy camper.

As I grew up we grew apart as a family and turned into people that lived together.  I quickly learned to cook for myself.  I had no pallet so what I made was simply what I wanted. 

Many times I had things I'd rather do than cook and was distracted from "cooking", so the degree of "doneness" took on various meanings but all were good to stay my hunger, which was the purpose after all.

On in time to today..........  I married and my wife wasn't the most skilled cook.  I didn't marry her for her cooking skills since I loved her just for herself.  Now she is older and sometimes forgetfull.

She may forget just how long she has been cooking something, or just how much Salt she has put into it.  My saving grace in our marriage is that I like food that is too Salty, and food that is overdone - even somethings burnt.  Don't know why, but close to charcoal on somethings is better to me.  After all, Butter can make it go down easier.

So here we are today.  She apologizes for too much Salt, she apologizes for things too well done and can't seem to understand that she has make my meal to my satisfaction.  She is the perfect wife and since I have no taste, I am the perfect husband.

I kid her a lot and others have commented on it to me.  I tell them that it makes her laugh and when she is laughing she doesn't grow old.  I'm scared to have her stop laughing and then to grow old.  So I keep ordering trinket jewelry and crap for her off the internet to make it fun for her to get the mail and act like a little kid opening up the earring/necklaces/lingerie/tops/tights, whatever strikes my fancy.

She is getting a pair of tights that has a world map on them, I can't wait! 

She still has one great talent:  When the kids call on the telephone, she tells them to call back because I am not "finished with her".  God I love that woman!

[janice6]

7 hours ago, pipedreams said:

My wife and I both carry guns and have CC permits.  When she gets upset with me she usually says, "Remember!  I have a gun and know how to use it!".

I laugh at her and tell her I taught her how to shoot, she doesn't scare me!

[janice6]

7 hours ago, pipedreams said:

And ask frequently.......................

[janice6]

6 hours ago, pipedreams said:

I look at my marriage and realize that I am one of a few living examples of a statistical improbability, proving that no matter what the odds are against it, they are still not zero - statistically happiness can be achieved.

[janice6]

16 hours ago, pipedreams said:

If you can't be happy with a pet - that says a lot about you.  Animals only judge you on your heart, not on your pocketbook.

[janice6]

15 hours ago, pipedreams said:

Be just enough of a child that the child loves you as an adult!  

[janice6]

8 hours ago, pipedreams said:

the reason we do this is because of the love we have for BOTH.

[janice6]

On 8/10/2022 at 12:59 PM, ChuteTheMall said:

 

Went to see a breeder with my daughter.  The breed Anatolian Shepherds. These dogs are know as "Guardian Dogs" and their job is to protect anything that is your property -- ANYTHING!

"The Anatolian Shepherd Dog stands between 27 and 29 inches at the shoulder and can weigh as much as 150 pounds. Profusely muscled but nimble afoot, Anatolians are more than a match for the predators and harsh terrain of their homeland. Anatolians descend from some of the oldest known domestic-canine bloodlines. This lends the breed a sense of timelessness, a no-frills, untouched quality that takes us back 6,000 years to the Bronze Age. Anatolians are smart, devoted, responsive, and adaptable. They will protect their flock, livestock, children, smaller dogs, even the family cat with intensity. Anatolian owners must be strong leaders, willing and able to handle a dog as dominating and demanding as he is calm and loving."  https://www.akc.org/dog-breeds/anatolian-shepherd-dog/

 

These dogs will attack and kill Mountain Lions!!!!!  They come from the Asian portions of Turkey.  They enforce the breed by killing any puppies that show any deviation from the willingness to kill anything that it sees as a threat.  Slight deviations are not allowed.  There is a story of one dog killing two Mountain Lions in one night that had preyed on their Sheep..  It was bleeding and hurt - but survived.

The breeder also had some pet screaming Sheep.  We were looking at the Sheep and I reached to pet one.  It started to scream.....

The breeder was behind us and quietly said, "Don't move!  Don't say or do anything!

I heard the low growl behind me and two Anatolian Shepherds were glaring at me from about 5 feet behind me.

She gathered them up and took them to their kennels...............  I know what fear is now.

My daughter decided against getting one.

 

[janice6]

On 8/10/2022 at 11:08 PM, Hook said:

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2022/08/10/justified-spinoff-production-hit-with-second-violent-attack-in-chicago-incendiary-device-thrown-at-set/

Screw Chi - Town!

[pipedreams]