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[pipedreams]

[Cougar_ml]

Homemade carry handle for car batteries.

 

 

[Batesmotel]

6 minutes ago, Cougar_ml said:

Homemade carry handle for car batteries.

 

 

You could sell them on Etsy.  

[pipedreams]

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[pipedreams]

An elderly Paddy lay dying in his bed.
While suffering agonies on his way to his final moment, he suddenly smells the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his wayout of the bedroom, gripping the wall, he slowly makes it to the kitchen.
There, piled on a tray are his favourite scones.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted wife of sixty years, seeing to it that
he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture.
His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon……
‘Feckin leave them alone’ she said, ‘they're for the funeral.

[pipedreams]

Q: What do you call dental X-rays?
A: Tooth pics
Q: What do you call a group of babies?
A: An infantry.
Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
A: He pastaway.
Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A: Because they lactose.
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A: A dinosnore.
Q: Which way did the programmer go?
A: He went dataway.
Q: How does NASA organize a party?
A: They planet.
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: Same middle name.
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Between you and me, something smells.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.
Q: What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
A: An investigator
Q: Are mountains just funny?
A: No. They are hillareas.
Q: why didn't the bicycle stand up on its own?
A: It was two tired.
Q: What did the window feel when it was hit by a stone?
A: It felt the pane.

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