Ricordo Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 Disclaimer: I'm a lawyer. Listen to the last five (5) seconds of this commercial, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDaT1hnDlw He's saying that his law firm "is now the universe's largest injury law firm". So the question is, which law firm was previously the largest? Or, how does he know that? Is there a universe-wide Bar association? Can I hire somebody in Jupiter or Alpha Centauri? 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jfost11 Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 I've heard the best place in the universe to look for an attorney is in Uranus. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricordo Posted November 29, 2022 Author Share Posted November 29, 2022 http://www.iciclesoftware.com/LawJokes/IcicleLawJokes.html 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minderasr Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 34 minutes ago, Ricordo said: Disclaimer: I'm a lawyer. Listen to the last five (5) seconds of this commercial, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDaT1hnDlw He's saying that his law firm "is now the universe's largest injury law firm". So the question is, which law firm was previously the largest? Or, how does he know that? Is there a universe-wide Bar association? Can I hire somebody in Jupiter or Alpha Centauri? Only a lawyer would ask these questions. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricordo Posted November 29, 2022 Author Share Posted November 29, 2022 While we're at it, this is how I became a lawyer. One day my sister visits me and says that she had applied for admittance to law school. Then she states, "why don't you apply?". A couple of weeks later, I did. Here's the catch. Due to my 15 Incomplete Fs in my GPA, even though I had scored quite well in both entrance exams, my ultimate admission score did not qualify by a couple of points. A couple of years later a law school professor told me the story behind the story. The admissions committee had met to review my case and voted to lower the score so that I could get in. By doing that, another person above my score also qualified. But it goes beyond that. After I made the decision to apply for admission, but before I was admitted, I received an offer from the university's US representative/agent (also a professor there) that the US government wanted to send me to Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies to get a Master's and/or Doctorate, all expenses paid, in exchange for five (5) years of government work. I told him that I was planning to go to law school and he replied, "Oh, we'll pay for that too!". I never found out if my subsequent admission and offer received were related. Probably they were, I figger. Btw, one the last names of the US representative/agent was Christian (RIP). Distant relative of him of "Mutiny on the Bounty" fame. We got along real well. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAKA Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 How does it go, 100% of lawyers give the rest a bad rap? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Czervik Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 <---went to law school, but not a lawyer, nor do I have any lawyer friends. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 A character in one of Heinlein Lazarus Long series books went to law school so she would know how to defend herself and hers against lawyers. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricordo Posted November 29, 2022 Author Share Posted November 29, 2022 38 minutes ago, railfancwb said: A character in one of Heinlein Lazarus Long series books went to law school so she would know how to defend herself and hers against lawyers. That is a great plan... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minderasr Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 I never went to law school, but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn once. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Eric Posted November 30, 2022 Administrators Share Posted November 30, 2022 You know, 99% of lawyers make the rest look bad. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Czervik Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him. The Devil made him an offer. “I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife’s soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends.” The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, “But what’s the catch?” 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Eric Posted November 30, 2022 Administrators Share Posted November 30, 2022 Q. Why don't sharks attack lawyers? A. Professional courtesy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UHLAWPUP Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 Well, I never set out to be a lawyer. Spent 25 years in radio and television. Got tired of being laid off, so I went back to school to become a pharmacist. Came out a lawyer. No idea what happened. God must have had a hand in it. After 4 years of bouncing around, wound up working for a city. Retired after 16 years three years ago with a livable pension. Prosecuted a lot of cases in municipal court. Won more than I lost, but I never tried a case that I didn’t think needed trying. Let a lot go. My call. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geeorge Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 I hate lawyers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAKA Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 I think it got much worse years ago when they allowed lawyers to advertise,,,,Jacoby and Meyers in NY back then.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
railfancwb Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 1 hour ago, DAKA said: I think it got much worse years ago when they allowed lawyers to advertise,,,,Jacoby and Meyers in NY back then.. Ambulance chasing has long been a tradition, and has no doubt justly benefited some injured people. But with giant billboards along all expressways… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAKA Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 8 hours ago, railfancwb said: Ambulance chasing has long been a tradition, and has no doubt justly benefited some injured people. But with giant billboards along all expressways… "MY LAWYER (insert name) GOT ME 843 MILLION DOLLARS" (slight exaggeration) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul53 Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 Just a fun fact, over 30 years as an ER nurse I've dealt with maybe a half dozen lawyers. Some called me asking for (free) help, or patients for whom the discharge instructions need to be altered for employment considerations. In each case they would answer me reluctantly about their career choices. Surprisingly, I never saw one gunshot in the butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minderasr Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 18 hours ago, geeorge said: I hate lawyers Until you need one. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GT4494 Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 I hate the days when you didn't need one unless they were hanging you for rustling!! Then they would get you hung anyways !! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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