Life and death and randomness

[railfancwb]

No doubt I’ve posted this before in other contexts. From John D MacDonald’s Travis McGee in “Pale Gray for Guilt” (1968). I periodically refer to it when I’ve suffered losses of family or friends. Provides some perspective.

Picture a very swift torrent, a river rushing down between rocky walls. There is a long, shallow bar of sand and gravel that runs right down the middle of the river. It is under water. You are born and you have to stand on that narrow, submerged bar, where everyone stands. The ones born before you, the ones older than you, are upriver from you. The younger ones stand braced on the bar downriver. And the whole long bar is slowly moving down that river of time, washing away at the upstream end and building up downstream.

Your time, the time of all your contemporaries, schoolmates, your loves and your adversaries, is that part of the shifting bar on which you stand. And it is crowded at first. You can see the way it thins out, upstream from you. The old ones are washed away and their bodies go swiftly by, like logs in the current. Downstream where the younger ones stand thick, you can see them flounder, lose footing, wash away. Always there is more room where you stand, but always the swift water grows deeper, and you feel the shift of the sand and the gravel under your feet as the river wears it away. Someone looking for a safer place can nudge you off balance, and you are gone. Someone who has stood beside you for a long time gives a forlorn cry and you reach to catch their hand, but the fingertips slide away and they are gone.

There are the sounds in the rocky gorge, the roar of the water, the shifting, gritty sound of sand and gravel underfoot, the forlorn cries of despair as the nearby ones, and the ones upstream, are taken by the current. Some old ones who stand on a good place, well braced, understanding currents and balance, last a long time. A Churchill, fat cigar atilt, sourly amused at his own endurance and, in the end, indifferent to rivers and the rage of waters. Far downstream from you are the thin, startled cries of the ones who never got planted, never got set, never quite understood the message of the torrent.

[Huaco Kid]

I hope I die, before I get old.

[Gunboat1]

MacDonald was one of the 20th Century's best writers in any genre.   He was an OSS officer in WWII.  Excellent stuff.

[DAKA]

4 minutes ago, Gunboat1 said:

MacDonald was one of the 20th Century's best writers in any genre.   He was an OSS officer in WWII.  Excellent stuff.

I think that TRAVIS was one of the first series of books  (characters) that I actually sought out 

[Mrs.Cicero]

I needed to read this today.  I'm glad you posted it.  My youngest daughter's beloved boss (age 81) went to his reward unexpectedly Sunday afternoon.  He had written her a fabulous recommendation for the full-time job she was offered and accepted last week, and we spent last night and today listening to her stories about funny things he did or said, and all the stuff he taught her, and how patient he was with her, and how generous with his time and expertise and money even while she was learning (he paid her well in excess of the minimum wage, and often in Snap-On tools).  She is heartbroken he is gone - they had planned out stuff to do together this week, which was supposed to be her last official week of work for him (she was going to come in on random Saturdays again when business picked up in the spring the way it always does).   Instead this week, she will be working in his shop helping his widow close things down.  I will save this and read it to her when the loss is not so fresh, because I think it might help.

[railfancwb]

I was provoked - if that is the appropriate word - to post this because my daughter-in-law had died too young three weeks earlier from cancer.

I have not yet shared it with my son. 

[Batesmotel]

On 11/28/2022 at 5:50 AM, Huaco Kid said:

I hope I die, before I get old.

I didn’t expect to live this long. A bunch of doctors thought so too. 

[janice6]

I think about my demise since I'm past my life expectancy by a fair amount, already.  The idea that I get more time with my wife is the icing on the cake. But, I am truly sorry at the grief, or maybe disappointment, I may create for others  at my passing.  I love my children very much and their spouses seem to be the kind of people I would have chosen to round out my family.

My kids and I have been very close throughout their lives and there is NOTHING we can't talk about to each other.  Now, especially this Christmas, they are showing the concern they have for me and their mother by trying all sorts of things to make our lives easier.  I try to tell them that I'm just old, not dead, yet.   They suddenly seem to see us as older and more fragile than we are.

I with there was some way I could ease their minds that when I die it will be ok.  I have lived with this fact for many years and I have come to peace with it.  My wife and kids haven't seen a way to understand and accept the inevitable yet.  I don't look forward to passing, but I don't fear it either.  If I had my wish it would be:  

But we all know this isn't going to happen so we do the best we can with what we have.  I have seriously made an effort to be the best I can be.  I can't be the best, but I can be the best that I can be.

Nonetheless, this has been one hell of a ride, and if my family learns anything at all from my life, I hope it is that you can achieve what you want from life if you are willing to devote you time and efforts to it.  I let nothing deter me from my goal and it worked out well for me.  I had many challenges along the line but I  never let them define me, nor deter me.

If anything I could leave my family I with, it would be determination and self confidence to let nothing interfere with your goals in life.  Think for yourself and don't believe anything until you have proven for yourself it is acceptable.  Independence is something I believe I have given my children and my wife.  Fairness is the key to existence, but never let anyone take advantage of you. If it isn't worth you fighting for don't complain when it bites you in the ass. 

One of these days I will confess  why I drone on about fighting for your goals and the achievement of them from my own experience.  I have been told I could never meet my goals and ambition, but I did and I hope it gives hope to others. 

[Eric]

On 11/28/2022 at 7:32 AM, DAKA said:

I think that TRAVIS was one of the first series of books  (characters) that I actually sought out 

There is a seven or eight-book  sci-fi series called Sten, by Allan Cole and Christopher Bunch. One of the guys was former CIA and the other one was former Special Forces. This is a superbly written series and they brought a lot of authenticity to the table, with their backgrounds. Whether you are a generally a sci-fi reader or not, this series is worth a try. I must have read the whole series thirty times, over the years.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sten_Chronicles

 

[DAKA]

10 hours ago, Eric said:

There is a seven or eight-book  sci-fi series called Sten, by Allan Cole and Christopher Bunch. One of the guys was former CIA and the other one was former Special Forces. This is a superbly written series and they brought a lot of authenticity to the table, with their backgrounds. Whether you are a generally a sci-fi reader or not, this series is worth a try. I must have read the whole series thirty times, over the years.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sten_Chronicles

 

THIRTY TIMES    

[gwalchmai]

A book series named after a water pipe disguised as a submachine gun.

[Silentpoet]

On 11/28/2022 at 10:32 AM, Mrs.Cicero said:

I needed to read this today.  I'm glad you posted it.  My youngest daughter's beloved boss (age 81) went to his reward unexpectedly Sunday afternoon.  He had written her a fabulous recommendation for the full-time job she was offered and accepted last week, and we spent last night and today listening to her stories about funny things he did or said, and all the stuff he taught her, and how patient he was with her, and how generous with his time and expertise and money even while she was learning (he paid her well in excess of the minimum wage, and often in Snap-On tools).  She is heartbroken he is gone - they had planned out stuff to do together this week, which was supposed to be her last official week of work for him (she was going to come in on random Saturdays again when business picked up in the spring the way it always does).   Instead this week, she will be working in his shop helping his widow close things down.  I will save this and read it to her when the loss is not so fresh, because I think it might help.

We just have to be thankful for the people like that in our lives.