Stupid Engineering Vent

[Mrs.Cicero]

I went to use my husband's Ford Fusion (the commuter car) to jumpstart some guy's dead truck at the gas station yesterday.  Whereupon I discovered that the battery in the Fusion is shoved so far under the dash, that only the positive post is available to clip the jumper cables to.  So, whose brilliant idiocy was it to make me go looking for some other bit of metal that isn't related to any electrical or computer-y bits in the car, to ground the other cable?  It's just dumb.  And how the hell am I supposed to even change that battery when it comes time?  What happened to the ease of the '79 Malibu I learned on?  I had to charge that darn battery every night in order to get to school and work and home before it would die on me (because my father forgot to mention that the two year battery was five years old - if he'd SAID something, I would have known I should replace it, anyway, that's a whole 'nother rant.  I'm just annoyed by engineers making things so dang complicated.

[DWARREN123]

Almost have to disassemble some cars to change batteries or lamps.

[Batesmotel]

1 hour ago, DWARREN123 said:

Almost have to disassemble some cars to change batteries or lamps.

My sons Mazda. Remove the entire front bumper assembly to change the headlights. 

[Batesmotel]

Ferarri. End thread. Period. 

[geeorge]

I don't jump with newer cars to much to go wrong, buy a jump box or call AAA

[Silentpoet]

Usually they have marked posts someplace else for jumping purposes.  Mom's car battery is under the rear seat in her cadillac.

[Cougar_ml]

3 hours ago, Silentpoet said:

Usually they have marked posts someplace else for jumping purposes.  Mom's car battery is under the rear seat in her cadillac.

I was given a BMW once upon a time that had the battery in the truck, and a couple posts in the engine bay with labels of positive/negative for jumping it.

(car was purchased by a teenager without a license, and she got a ticket in it the first day.  They used it as a hang out spot but it was taking up street parking in a development with basically no room to park more than 1 vehicle per house.  A few other people had been given the car first, but nobody could get it started to remove it.  I hooked a jump pack to the posts in the engine bay, and it fired right up.  Loaded onto a trailer and drove off.  All that was actually wrong was someone tried to "upgrade" the stereo and put some really crappy connectors on the battery in the truck that corroded.  I managed to sell it with no paperwork to my neighbor for half the blue book value because the paperwork had issues from the teenager never transferring it to her name and the previous owner filing the sale paperwork with the state, and the neighbor had a broken car of a similar model in the driveway.)

 

Batteries in fenders, batteries in trunks, batteries under the seat (including in my truck, but the seat is only held by 2 latches)

 

My old coworker once spent 10 hours changing the spark plugs on his Ford Excursion.  He thinks at one point he actually fell asleep on top of the engine with his arm trying to get a plug out.

 

I've seen pictures of starter motors that are inside the transmission, in the engine valley, and other odd places.  

 

At least with most modern vehicles the fuel tank isn't in the cabin area underneath the driver's seat...

 

[gwalchmai]

10 hours ago, Mrs.Cicero said:

I went to use my husband's Ford Fusion (the commuter car) to jumpstart some guy's dead truck at the gas station yesterday.  Whereupon I discovered that the battery in the Fusion is shoved so far under the dash, that only the positive post is available to clip the jumper cables to.  So, whose brilliant idiocy was it to make me go looking for some other bit of metal that isn't related to any electrical or computer-y bits in the car, to ground the other cable?  It's just dumb.  And how the hell am I supposed to even change that battery when it comes time?  What happened to the ease of the '79 Malibu I learned on?  I had to charge that darn battery every night in order to get to school and work and home before it would die on me (because my father forgot to mention that the two year battery was five years old - if he'd SAID something, I would have known I should replace it, anyway, that's a whole 'nother rant.  I'm just annoyed by engineers making things so dang complicated.

If life were easy everybody would want to do it. 

[DAKA]

8 hours ago, Batesmotel said:

Ferarri. End thread. Period. 

Yep A lot of them need to have the engine out for a major service,,,,But if you can afford the Ferrari,,,   What about the EV's a few years from now,,,wanna buy a 7 or 8 year old one with its original battery?

[Fog]

Try an ASV track loader.

Starter shorts out when the contact holder broke, dead short connected directly to a big battery. Lots of amps, lots of fire. 

Pouring water on it to keep the whole machine from going up.

Battery is under the cab that has to be raised to access it. But to raise the cab you have to raise the bucket, which requires a running machine and a guy sitting in the seat of said running and now burning machine. Then undo four 1" grade 8 bolts that are torqued with Thor's hammer. 

Now you can raise the cab. 

Oh wait! The machine didn't even start, so you just have to wait till the battery dies, keep everything cool as best you can. Then go get the forklift, crack the hydraulic lines, lift the bucket up, take off the bolts, raise the cab.

Yeah, I installed a battery cutoff with some great difficulty. New models have the battery in quick easy reach.

[Mrs.Cicero]

19 hours ago, Silentpoet said:

Usually they have marked posts someplace else for jumping purposes.  Mom's car battery is under the rear seat in her cadillac.

I thought it would, but I looked everywhere, even in the manual, and there was nothing.

[GT4494]

Just used one for a jump vehicle last weekend (not my cars) .  Used the battery positive and found the alternator for the ground. worked fine.

That's why Mercedes had remote jumper terminals under the hood (battery under rear seat).  Different engineering parameters..  IE willing to spend more and able to charge for it!!

[Paul53]

Wouldn't be hard to make a case that some engineers are psycho. To check the ATF level in 2008 Saturn you must raise the car on a lift, remove the right front tire, and remove a certain threaded plug, see if ATF oozes out. If not then add said fluid until the transmission oozes. Got the runaround from a tire dealer so I asked the service writer to check the trans fluid. He disappeared, came back in 2 minutes said he just checked it, it's fine. Uh huh.

[railfancwb]

1 hour ago, Paul53 said:

Wouldn't be hard to make a case that some engineers are psycho. To check the ATF level in 2008 Saturn you must raise the car on a lift, remove the right front tire, and remove a certain threaded plug, see if ATF oozes out. If not then add said fluid until the transmission oozes. Got the runaround from a tire dealer so I asked the service writer to check the trans fluid. He disappeared, came back in 2 minutes said he just checked it, it's fine. Uh huh.

Saturn went out of business… wonder why…

[Paul53]

10 hours ago, railfancwb said:

Saturn went out of business… wonder why…

Actually, they were just another branch of General Motors. GM decided to absorb them and in 2009 there were Buick, Chevy, and Saturn  cars identical in every way except for the little badges unique to each brand.  One day in TX I came out of the store and was trying to get into my Saturn, took me several minutes to see it was somebody's Buick.

[DAKA]

20 hours ago, Fog said:

Try an ASV track loader.

Starter shorts out when the contact holder broke, dead short connected directly to a big battery. Lots of amps, lots of fire. 

Pouring water on it to keep the whole machine from going up.

Battery is under the cab that has to be raised to access it. But to raise the cab you have to raise the bucket, which requires a running machine and a guy sitting in the seat of said running and now burning machine. Then undo four 1" grade 8 bolts that are torqued with Thor's hammer. 

Now you can raise the cab. 

Oh wait! The machine didn't even start, so you just have to wait till the battery dies, keep everything cool as best you can. Then go get the forklift, crack the hydraulic lines, lift the bucket up, take off the bolts, raise the cab.

Yeah, I installed a battery cutoff with some great difficulty. New models have the battery in quick easy reach.

I just remembered, changing one spark plug on my 69 Pontiac SW, easiest was to remove the right front wheel and use a 30" extension on a socket 

[janice6]

4 hours ago, Paul53 said:

Actually, they were just another branch of General Motors. GM decided to absorb them and in 2009 there were Buick, Chevy, and Saturn  cars identical in every way except for the little badges unique to each brand.  One day in TX I came out of the store and was trying to get into my Saturn, took me several minutes to see it was somebody's Buick.

An older neighbor woman said she came out of the store early and her husband continued shopping.  She sat in the car for 15 minutes before figuring out it wasn't their car.  

[gwalchmai]

52 minutes ago, janice6 said:

An older neighbor woman said she came out of the store early and her husband continued shopping.  She sat in the car for 15 minutes before figuring out it wasn't their car.  

Because modern cars are very unique...

[Walt Longmire]

On 10/31/2022 at 4:27 PM, DWARREN123 said:

Almost have to disassemble some cars to change batteries or lamps.

Try changing the driver side headlight on a 2010 Subaru Outback. Remove the tire and wheel. Remove inner fender liner. Pull plastic cover from behind headlight, about 3" diameter. Now reach your hand in completely blocking the hole and unplug the wiring by feel. Now remove a little wire clip that if you drop it, you'll never see it again. Pull out headlight bulb. Try to push new bulb in and keep it in place while you TRY to reinstall the ******* clip by feel since you can't see past your hand. Reinstall everything else in reverse order. No idea why they don't use the bulbs you twist in after attaching the wiring.

[minervadoe]

To change spark plugs in A V8 Chevrolet Monza, I hear you had to unbolt a motor mount and jack the engine up.  Then, repeat the process on the other side. 

[Batesmotel]

1 hour ago, minervadoe said:

To change spark plugs in A V8 Chevrolet Monza, I hear you had to unbolt a motor mount and jack the engine up.  Then, repeat the process on the other side. 

A buddy cut holes in the wheel wells. That body was designed for a smaller engine. 

[gwalchmai]

1 hour ago, minervadoe said:

To change spark plugs in A V8 Chevrolet Monza, I hear you had to unbolt a motor mount and jack the engine up.  Then, repeat the process on the other side. 

My buddy's 74 Roadrunner had to do that. 

[railfancwb]

Automotive engineers hate owners and service crews. 

[minervadoe]

3 hours ago, Batesmotel said:

A buddy cut holes in the wheel wells. That body was designed for a smaller engine. 

It was a Vega chassis.  People were dropping V8's into Vegas and Datsun 240 Zs.  So somebody at corporate saw an opportunity and stuffed V8s into production cars based on that chassis. 

2 hours ago, gwalchmai said:

My buddy's 74 Roadrunner had to do that. 

I think there was even an option where you could get a 440 in a Dart.  It was probably the old homologation for racing thing where they had to sell so many street cars so they could race a similar car in some category or other. 

But the mid 70's were a weird time for muscle cars.  For smog purposes. compression was dropped and timing was retarded.  It wasn't until the early 80's that Detroit started to figure out how to get decent performance again.

[gwalchmai]

Mrs. G had a, 85 Skyhawk when we first got married. Great little engine, 5MT, revved forever.

BUT

The sun visor interfered with the rear view mirror. Every time you lowered the visor it knocked the RV mirror cattywampus. Mrs. G called it the Dammit Lever because every time I used it I'd immediately shout "Dammit! This thing has hit the mirror again!"