My best crashes

[Huaco Kid]

I just decided to take it.

That's all I had.

This rental car will soon start spinning, barrel roll, and everyone of these 18 wheels will Squash me.

(I don't know how many microseconds it took,  but my brain went there.)

[Huaco Kid]

So,  I don't know,  after 10,000 seconds/ hours.......

The truck started slowing down.  and pushed me, locked into his bumper,  to the side.

The cops showed up

 

[Huaco Kid]

So.

The ******* trucker,  who was a ******* wop,  jumped out and screaming Joisey at me.

For crashing me.

[Huaco Kid]

I got pictures of skidmarks going 1/4 mile.

Even the trucker was scared too.  We were cool.  I gave him cigarettes.

The cops wouldn't let me go photo get the other 1/2 miles of skidmark.

[Huaco Kid]

For a couple seconds,  it was a lot of people going, "DUDEFCKINGCOOLESTEVARGETOFFTHEROADYOULUCKIESTMFEREVER!"

And when the cops showed up,  everyone had left.

[Huaco Kid]

And I was in rental car for work.

Not my circus.

I could smell this rank rubber-smoke, in my nose, for three weeks.

[Huaco Kid]

6 minutes ago, Huaco Kid said:

I could smell this rank rubber-smoke, in my nose, for three weeks.

smells like death

[Huaco Kid]

I was in Carolina,  where I lived, and my friend (who was a little bit special), and was a professional at work,  and was a total farmer working-man.

They said, "You know! He who dies with the most toys wins!".

Yeah.  He did.

Twenty boats.  Twenty trucks.  Twenty properties.  This guy worked like a tank.

[Huaco Kid]

And one day,  this guy was a trusted friend, he said, He was driving.  A car whipped out in front of him.

"Hold On.   I'm nailing this ******."

[Huaco Kid]

And he did.

Car smooshed up.  I hit my head, good.

[Huaco Kid]

If you should pull out in front of Dave....

you'ld better own it, or defer...

[Huaco Kid]

Whatever you do, do not wop this.

Just don't.

 

[Huaco Kid]

For months later, the lawyers called me.  The truck dudes.

 

[Huaco Kid]

Not my circus.

[gwalchmai]

You know, Kid, sometimes reading your stream-of-unconsciousness posts are the only reason I get out of bed in the morning.

[geeorge]

are you related to Von Hayes on Glocktalk?

[DAKA]

3 hours ago, Huaco Kid said:

Not my circus.

 

[DAKA]

Just now, DAKA said:

 

Hey Huaco

Does this **** still happen to you?  

Are you a cat with 900 lives?

I semi-major crash on my CX 500 and I gave it up (1981)...Major CHICKEN  (and this was before I moved to FL)

Now I like the feel of a very sturdy SUV around me... 

[Huaco Kid]

We could ride our dirt bikes through several huge horse pastures.  At 192mph.  A lot of land,  not many horses.

Then you learn that most  of the last generation's farmers were lazy,  so instead of removing old barbed fences, they'd just bunch them up in a twisted pile.

So when you blew through, at 192mph, the wire would wind around your back tire,  and, eventually, still hooked to a post,

You'd be going 192mph,  but the back of your bike was instantly going zero.

I think I kind'a got hurt on that one.

[Huaco Kid]

On 10/18/2022 at 8:19 AM, DAKA said:

Hey Huaco

Does this **** still happen to you?  

Are you a cat with 900 lives?

I semi-major crash on my CX 500 and I gave it up (1981)...Major CHICKEN  (and this was before I moved to FL)

Now I like the feel of a very sturdy SUV around me... 

I think from doing that stuff since I was very little (they had to really watch me,  because I'd instantly go wherever I wasn't supposed to be),  and playing hockey since the Mites,  I really know how to fall.  I've kept my organs internal and my arms and legs attached.  So far.

It's the immovable objects and the large crushy-things that you have to watch for...