those nasty not-lady bugs

[Huaco Kid]

And whatever then it was, -20,  I was looking out the kitchen window, and jagr took his his mouth on the car handle,  opened the door, got it,  and closed the door.

[Huaco Kid]

I don't know where he got the deer leg.

But it was his best friend for many years.

[Huaco Kid]

1 hour ago, Mrs.Cicero said:

1) Did Jagr survive?

2)Huaco, you need to write a book

He died as a very old dog.

We were camping,  and the extended family invented:  'How Many Times Has Dad Almost Died?"

I think we quit around a dozen.

There's a lot more,  that they don't know.

[Huaco Kid]

Getting et by alligators, in the swamp, in Texas, 

[Huaco Kid]

Mom was there.  It's undeniable.

In the swamp,  in the lilly-pads.

I don't even know what we were thinking..

[Huaco Kid]

Then he came.  At us.

With our beer.  And probably, stoned, a lot.

We saw the alligator, coming directly at us, fast,  and ducked down into a V in the water..  About to chommp us.

[Huaco Kid]

So, we kicked.  Like mad men.  Like,  ten-million kicks per second.

Went berserk.

Kicking ****, and getting out of the water.

[Huaco Kid]

You could think you're saving your cutest girlfriend, from toothy amphibians, but, no.

You're pretty much just kicking your ass off.

[Huaco Kid]

It was the same place,  probably the same camp trip. I think.

We spent the night at Huntsville TX prison.

[Huaco Kid]

I didn't do anything!

[Huaco Kid]

My wife (to be) (cutest girl in the world!)

We were camping,  and she went to get smokes,  and beer, and milk,  and ****.

And, I don't know.  We had only eaten 50 mandrax,  which you used to be allowed to have,  but can't now.

And she crashed into some car, in some parking lot.

 

[Huaco Kid]

So now she's crazy!

Have you ever seen your wife, handcuffed, in the back of the car, going, totally-berserk-off?

It's great.

 

[Huaco Kid]

And then the cops say,  "put your hands behind your back."

"Why??"

"Just do it, OK?"

[Huaco Kid]

Once, on the Harley,  I think it was Steve, on the back..

The bitch-pad.

Then.  I don't know why we were going 100mph,  in swamp-Texas.

But we were going 100mph.

And hit this 90° left and an imidieate, 90° right!.

I don't know where that came from.

I blew left!!!!!  All sparks,  from the floor.  A lot of sparks!

Winged!

Blew right!!!  A lot of sparks!!!

[Huaco Kid]

Then Steve said, "You're a dick.  Let me off.  You're a dick."

[Huaco Kid]

We were one going to the circus in dowtown Houston (with the cutest girl in the world!)

And the '67 Datsun B-210,  that was free to us,  that we had been driving for 100 years.

So we hit, like,  50 railroad tracks,  all in a row.

At way late at night.

And I don't know.  The car bounced a lot.

[Huaco Kid]

So the dash set itself on fire.

A really lot of smoke.  And the car died.  On the tracks.

[Huaco Kid]

So we took the FM Converter,  worth $10, much more than the car.

And the cutest girl in the world, put in in her purse,  and we went to the circuis,  one mile away.

[Huaco Kid]

After the circus, we were pretty dicked, because we had no money.

But we had an FM Converter!

 

[Huaco Kid]

So, we walked for a mile,  to the tracks,  where our burned-up car was.

 

And put the key in, and it started.

So we went home.

And drove it for another 100 years.

[Huaco Kid]

We were camping at New Braunfels, , at there.

And there was 200 mandrax, not involved..

So we were (the cutest girl in the world) going freaky,   in the pup-tent.

[Huaco Kid]

Then we heard the gravel growling,  and some wild man attacked us in our tent.

We, nakedly, kicked and punched, and slashed,  (I always have knives), AND WE GOT OUT.  Naked.  Who cares.

But no one was attacking us.

The Datsun B210,  cut loose and rolled right over the tent we were in.

I split a lot of knuckles,  punching the muffler, and ****.

We didn't know.

[Huaco Kid]

And I think, that weekend,  was it started raining.

And we listened to the official radio.

It started pouring,   we started packing,  With poorness, and a B210,  we didn't have much to pack.

The crick went from 3' wide, to 20' wide,  while we were there.  So we split.

Then the radio said,  the county was shut-down, for flooding,  and the rest of the state, got shut down, for flooding.

But if you have the cutest girl in the world.  who cares?

[Huaco Kid]

Then.

I don't remember.

Where we were going , or coming from.

So we drove the B210 into some swamp,  and were drunk, and got more, and the cutest girl in the world.

[Huaco Kid]

So then,  we were a mile from home,  all full of stink-swamp.

And the tow-truck-guy was having a great time.

"Why the ****-**** would you drive your car here???"

"Were you banging that cutest girl in the world??"

"It's pretty deep."

"Your $10 car is going to need a $50 tow.