As another round of snow hits MN...

[TBO]

[Huaco Kid]

I've been in upper MN and WI in the middle of winter,  in the darkest, most rural areas.  Winding through the woods,  you won't pass a car or see a house for 30 minutes at a time.

When you pass a bar/restaurant, located every 10 miles, there'll be 200 snow mobiles in the parking lot.

[Batesmotel]

I love this winter so far. 
 

Heavy snowfall because that’s next year’s drinking water. Followed by rain in the valley to melt the snow but the heavy snowpack stays in the mountains. 

[Huaco Kid]

In the parking lot of one of those places, I saw a 4'x8' spray-painted plywood sign that said:

"Don't walk into here if you have a mask or helmet on.  Don't do it.  Last warning."

But I needed, really, that only can be found, in the darkest upper-MI,  pasties, that can only be found, at places,  where greasy snow-mobliers would congregate. 

[Huaco Kid]

And if I've passed 50 miles of woods, Wisconsin,  and I have to go another 50 miles, to work-Wisconsin,  then you realize,  that civilization, might be parse. 

Between here and now.

The Waffle House might be closed. 

So a pasty (get, like ten of them) from some sno-machine magnificent bar/place ,  is the really most magnificent, hot-meat, wrapped in hot-dough, thing, you could ever want.

You could put them under the backseat, at -20°,  for two days,  and they'll still burn your mouth when you eat them.

[Huaco Kid]

[Huaco Kid]

Makes your, all f'd up, $37 a/night room,  all dicked where the cement quarry is,  and Timmy Hortons is closed.

So, like, ten of these, will keep you digging all through the dust,  with all 50XX hot-meat-to-eat.

[Huaco Kid]

Canada can't make pasties.

They all come out like lardless timmy-biscuits.

And go, "Eh!  We got free healthcare!"

[Huaco Kid]

Just now, Huaco Kid said:

And go, "Eh!  We got free healthcare!"

"Yeah, but if I take my family to McDonalds, it cost $60."

"Don't go to Micky's, eh?.  It's free!"

[Huaco Kid]

I don't know where I got that meat-full of deliciousness (MN?)

But I got this really shitty motel, right on the line.

There was a bridge into Canada,  but it was a footpath wide.  And there was no one there.

So I didn't go into Canada.

I threw rocks at it.  Across the crick.

[Huaco Kid]

"Take THIS Canada!"

"And this!"

"Hey!  Look.... !  Timmys!"

"Ha!  Hit you with a rock!"

[Huaco Kid]

I stood at the bridge, into Canada,  in the middle of the night,  the river was 4' wide,  and the booth was dark and empty.

So I threw a couple rocks at Canada,  and left.

[Huaco Kid]

And the motel at the Canada-line, was ok,  but not.

It was, like, a Wayne's World place.

Where you could take a room, or dick off, eh?

 

[Huaco Kid]

So then, when you got there,  you could tell the bull-dyke lady that your room's door was only hanging on one hinge,  and it was -20

[Huaco Kid]

Those posts got kind of messed up, but not for me.

 

[Huaco Kid]

And my door kept blowing open, at -20°,  and I put my suitcases in front of it.  So I could live longer.

The room, technically, had heat,  but it was only a steam foil-ribbed strip running across the back wall.

I grabbed it.  It was  a little bit warm.

In Canada.  at -20°.

 

[Huaco Kid]

So, the next day, you could tell the bull-dyke Canada lady (we didn't know they had those), "Hey. My door's busted open, and its -20.°"

[Huaco Kid]

And she would blow a snot-rocket at you,  and not give much f's much more.

So we hated her.

[Huaco Kid]

America-Canada hotel is almost  Fargo.