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Schmidt Meister's Grab Bag


Schmidt Meister
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Jerks are jerks, and have severe character flaws. Flaws like not tipping. A bartender will never forget such a patron, because that patron screwed them over. Rule #1 of dining/drinking out? Do NOT screw the bartender.

A Key West bartender who on New Year’s Day saw images of the men who had vandalized the Florida city’s landmark recognized one of them: It was the bar patron who had stiffed him the night before.
Cameron Briody’s recall of the face and his bar’s receipts helped police identify the two men suspected of defacing the famous “Southernmost Point” buoy landmark.
Scanning the news the morning after his busy New Year’s Eve shift at Irish Kevin’s Bar, Briody realized he had seen one of the men the night before. The patron stuck in his mind because he had ordered three rounds of drinks and didn’t tip for any of them.
“I knew immediately that I had served him and that he had used a card, so his name would be on the slips,” Briody told the Miami Herald.

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The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN
The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and just cover your own! You’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

My opinion is that the moral of the story should be;
Don’t be in a hurry to believe anything from the news media.

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