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Classic Hunting Jokes

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Two deer hunters met in the woods.  The first one said to the other, "Boy am I glad to see you!  I've been lost for hours."

The second deer hunter said, "That's nothing, I've been lost for a week."


I went turkey hunting recently with my new shotgun.

Scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen foods section.


An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape the guy was in.  The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a turkey hunter and that's why I'm in such good shape.  I'm up before daylight and out chasing turkeys."

The doctor said, "well, I'm sure that helps, but there has got to be more to it.  How old was your dad when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 and your dad is still alive?  How old is he?"

"He's 100 and he hunted turkey with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive.  He's a turkey hunter."

"Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it.  How about your dad's dad?  How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa's dead?"

"You mean you're 80 and your grandfather's still living?  How old is he?"

"He's 118 years old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?"

"No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."

"Got married!!  Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

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